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Original poster

seen on boyfriends phone....gutted advice pls...

162 replies

wishididntcare · 01/03/2015 15:22

I went out for the day yesterday with my boyf and when he was trying to show me something on his phone he accidentally pulled down the top notification bar and on that screen were a few notifications from something called adultplay....he quickly shut it and then was all cuddly with me
anyway ive googled adultplay and its a dating website so ive been on and there is a profile I think is him as there's no photo but same name/age/town etc .....
I don't know what to do now....

OP posts:
inlectorecumbit · 01/03/2015 19:15

You seem to be backtracking a bit now OP.
he is on the site and has been recently if it is showing up on his phone.
Don't be fooled by him--he certainly doesn't think he is exclusive

Original poster
wishididntcare · 01/03/2015 19:15

I'm not daft I'm just saying why hasnt he bothered writing anything or putting a photo on?

OP posts:
Original poster
wishididntcare · 01/03/2015 19:16

its a dating site from what I can see...

OP posts:
pilates · 01/03/2015 19:18

"I'm not daft I'm just saying why hasnt he bothered writing anything or putting a photo on?"

Because one of your friends could recognise him and tell you?

loveyoutothemoon · 01/03/2015 19:18

Not everyone texts calls before meeting, I don't. Many have conversations through the sites.
Yes normally people are dodgy if no photo but some are willing to give out privately. Try that.
So you've seen his name, age and town?
So the thing that was on the notification bar, was it an email from the site?

loveyoutothemoon · 01/03/2015 19:20

Because if he says it was from a porn pop up why would he be getting an email IYSWIM?

Joyfulldeathsquad · 01/03/2015 19:25

Maybe he contacts women first, then sends a picture?

Just send a message saying " hi there, no pic? " and see if he bites.

However he maybe ultra aware that your attention has been drawn to it and not bite back.

Mum4Fergus · 01/03/2015 19:28

Message him to contact you via the Kik app...like WhatsApp but no need to exchange phone numbers ...

Original poster
wishididntcare · 01/03/2015 19:29

All I saw on the notification bar when he pulled it down was the word adultplay...so I didn't say anything at the time as wanted to Google what is adultplay....

OP posts:
Mum4Fergus · 01/03/2015 19:30

I'm OLD at the moment and most of the contacts are photoless with vague/incomplete profiles- it means nothing Im afraid OP...

Original poster
wishididntcare · 01/03/2015 19:31

I can't send him a msg now he will know its me I should have thought of that before I asked him....

OP posts:
EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 01/03/2015 19:33

If he's got a new phone he will have had to install the app and agree notifications so he can hardly say it's from ages ago. Plus pop ups don't appear as notifications do they!

SylvaniansAtEase · 01/03/2015 19:36

If I were you I would sit down and have a long hard think about what this ACTUALLY tells you about the kind of man you are with.

Then dump him.

You can tie yourself up in all kinds of knots justifying stuff 'ooh maybe it's just a mistake/he can't be serious if he's not got details on there' etc. - all of that detracts from what you know - because you know it's not a mistake or innocent (especially given the speedy hiding the notifications).

He's a player.

That's all there is to it.

It doesn't matter if he's met someone or not, whether he's cheated or not. A year and a half is not that long when you're talking about permanent life choices. This guy is not a keeper. You want to be happy, perhaps marriage and children? Don't settle for second best.

Original poster
wishididntcare · 01/03/2015 19:37

I'm pretty sure he hasnt got the app as I've never seen it on his phone but obv he can just go on the site via the Internet

OP posts:
RedRoom · 01/03/2015 19:42

As I understand it, Adultplay isn't a dating site, it's a no-strings hookups site. Was he on those before he met you? I would judge him on his reaction more, tbh- he panicked and closed it down, knowing you'd caught a glimpse, rather than explaining it. Why? And to get several notifications? That's not the activity from an account dead for 18 months, surely? I'm not trying to upset you - I had a 6 year relationship end over this exact thing, so I know how worried you must be, but I just think this idea of it being a long dead 'dating' site registration doesn't stack up with his panicky reaction to getting several notifications from them in front of you.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 01/03/2015 19:45

Has he got an iPhone? I have dating apps 'hidden' on the second page after other apps because I don't want any old random to clock them when I'm using my phone. Nobody would see them unless they knew where they were

Original poster
wishididntcare · 01/03/2015 19:57

No he hasnt got an iphone and I didnt know that about adultplay :(

OP posts:
Original poster
wishididntcare · 01/03/2015 19:59

I don't know if he was on it when we met I never asked as id never even heard of adultplay....I'm not sure when he would "meet" these people
as we r on the phone all night most nights

OP posts:
ByeByeButterfly · 01/03/2015 20:27

I'd message him on the website.

Does it say when he last logged in?

Send him something like,

hey hun just saw your profile and thought you'd be the kinda guy I'd like to meet and it looks like I don't live too far away from you hit me up if you fancy a chat or maybe more or something of that ilk.

(I apologise if this is wrongly wrote, I've never used a dating site).

Original poster
wishididntcare · 01/03/2015 20:28

No it doesn't say when he was last online unfortunately and I'm pretty sure he will know its me and not reply...

OP posts:
ByeByeButterfly · 01/03/2015 20:33

Oops didn't see second page.

Are you good with technology? If he thinks you're not that good with technology he wont suspect it was you.

Or get someone else you know to do it for you (someone you trust).

I don't see how else you will know for sure.

ByeByeButterfly · 01/03/2015 20:35

Why someone would want to meet a stranger for 'hook ups' is beyond me you never know what you're going to get and I don't mean about looks...

Original poster
wishididntcare · 01/03/2015 20:46

its beyond me too n I didnt think he was like that either as hes always quite outspoken about someone we know that "sleeps about" and how disgusting it is/havent they got any self respect etc etc

OP posts:
oriG1Nal · 01/03/2015 20:53

Just tell him to log in when he's with you so you can check if he's sent any messages recently. Surely he agrees to do that if he's got nothing to hide?

loveyoutothemoon · 01/03/2015 20:57

He's probably deleted all messages by now!

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