seen on boyfriends phone....gutted advice pls...

[wishididntcare]

I went out for the day yesterday with my boyf and when he was trying to show me something on his phone he accidentally pulled down the top notification bar and on that screen were a few notifications from something called adultplay....he quickly shut it and then was all cuddly with me
anyway ive googled adultplay and its a dating website so ive been on and there is a profile I think is him as there's no photo but same name/age/town etc .....
I don't know what to do now....

I second that he's shagging the ex.

He isn't shagging his ex no...and vivacia maybe I should just stop talking about it if trying to talk it through with people means I'm revelling in my own drama!!
what a shitty thing to say! You are showing yourself up not me :)

Revelling in the drama?!! What a loser!

me a loser???

Nooooo! Sorry the poster who is saying you are revelling in the drama. Unbelievable. Hope you're ok.

wishididn'tcare I can't fathom if that's directed at you or Vivacia either.

I hope you're OK. It's a horrible shock to find out this kind of thing, and although we all mean well - well most of us at any rate - we get it's easy from the outside to say what you should do than it is to actually do it. It's much harder being the one it's happening to.

Of course you're not revelling in the drama. It is of course a shitty thing to say and not what most people here think.

Cross posts! And phew!

thank you :)

OP, I would just like to add my experience of something very similar.

My now EX over a number of years showed evidence of contact with prostitutes. I won't bother you with the details, but he accused me for at least 18 months of being crazy & that everything I said was because of my past.

Fast forward a further 12 months and I had evidence that he had actually BOOKED a prostitute.

At that point he didn't deny it, but said "nothing happened". ??

My biggest regret is not listening to my gut reaction and telling him to do one! So my advice to you would be, take sometime to listen to yourself & how you feel.

I don't know much about Vicacia, but I do feel that you should be allowed to 'sound out' how you feel and without too much judgemental imput.

You don't need to know much about me, and if I'm a "loser" is irrelevant; it's my points that are either at fault or not.

Anyway, it sounds as though you have a plan OP, to ignore it and I think that's better than your previous plan of searching for evidence.

@viacia the point that I and I think others were trying to make is that why on earth would I be revelling in the drama of someone I love possibly cheating and ur comment claiming so is ridiculous and unnecessary.....so maybe u could sod off? ( for want of a nicer way to put it ) as there are plenty of others on here to actually give helpful advice which I really appreciate :) thank you to all others for your comments :)

OP, I really feel for you in this situation. It's horrible.

FWIW, I agree with other posters who have advised you not to bother searching for proof. If he's anything like my EX it won't matter what evidence you confront him with, he will still deny it, try to turn it on you, etc. I'm far too ashamed, even to admit on here the lengths I went to, in order to have proof/evidence of what he was up to. I was making myself ill with it all, and why? I knew what I knew. Didn't matter in the grand scheme of things whether I got my admission of guilt or not. Thankfully I listened to AnyFucker seen sense before it went too far.