dp is really into prostate massages but it just makes me gag

[lexiepix]

Dh has told me how much he wants me to massage his prostate and it is by far his favourite thing sexually. I've read a lot about it, bought some massage tools, but every time I come to give it a go, I just gag and feel like I'm going to throw up. Has anyone overcome this?

ToYouToMe anus holes are gross. Don't care if it's clean and shaved, it's still completely gross. It's a psychological gross ness rather than a physical one but so what? I don't ever want to get near one, I'd be so repulsed by doing it so if a man finds it so important than we are clearly not compatible and it's no loss if he finds someone else to do it.
I'm also at comparisons earlier in the thread to a man saying cunnilingus makes him gag. Firstly, no sex act is compulsory so if it makes him gag, so be it, and secondly, genitals and anuses are not equivalent. Some people like having contact with both areas, some don't. Doesn't mean the people who don't want to touch an anus are wrong or weird.

pete

Toast???? I have been trying to eat my sausage!

I am with Ehric, and as this has now gone on for 24 hours and it's crumpet time again, I think it's time to hide the thread finally.

Good luck with whatever you choose OP. Hope he doesn't go off and find someone who will do the necessary if you won't.

Hope he doesn't go off and find someone who will do the necessary if you won't.

Well, if he does, then they were clearly not made for each other.
Doing somebody a sexual favour is NOT the same as forcing oneself to the point of gagging.

This thread reminds me of a leaflet we were given in hospital when dp had been really really ill a few years ago resulting in an emergency stoma being fitted.

His bowel had perforated. His appendix had gone and he was a few hours away from septicaemia. Whisked down to theatre, stoma fitted, 5 days on hdu.

Anyhow once he was stable and on a normal ward stoma nurse came to see us with a few leaflets. Had a chat and left us studying leaflets.

One of them was about day to day life and a stoma. And covered sexual activity. We could have a normal intimate relationship blah blah blah.

BUT under no circumstances should anything be inserted into the stoma. Nothing. It could be VERY DANGEROUS even if it didn't hurt.

It caused tears of laughter then and still makes us laugh now when Steve the Stoma has finally left our lives.

OP if you don't want to do it say no. If you think you might listen to Gate and do your research.

Christina Marmite on toast =poo crumbs.

bim, it astonishes me and does not surprise me in equal measure that that bit of advice had to go in to a patient leaflet
I am sure you and your DH do not miss Steve the Stoma now that he's gone

Thanks for the flowers Pacific. It was a very difficult time for us all and I take my hat off to anyone that has a stoma eithe rtemporarily or especially permanently. My dp is a builder. Typical Yorkshire man that doesn't do being ill.

It was a huge shock and we had Steve in our lives for 3 years before he went in November last year.

People don't realise the myriad of implications and are mainly ignorant of how it can change things. Accessible loos were a major bone of contention for us. And whether he should be using them.

I am bloody glad he was able to have the reversal. But also bloody glad he was able to have steve in the first place.as the alternative was no dp.

bim

My dh has had a temporary one since October after taking ill. He has adapted quite well , but yes it is a struggle....I'm glad you are Steve free

pete

Boak

I want to hear about this external stimulation (being the DH's birthday and all)

That's what Google is for but you can feel the prostate through the perineum. Obviously this is not as direct as internal stimulation but for those of us who aren't turned on enough by seeing our partners satisfaction to overcome our recoil of being anywhere near an arse, this may prove good compromise.

Christinayang1 and for you and your dh. It does get easier to deal with. It becomes a normal part of life 99% of the time I promise. But in the early days dp really struggled mainly through peoples ignorance. The most difficult thing for him was toilet facilities on building sites. In the end he managed with a combination of lots of the bags and some carrier bags to bring them home with him. Not what he should have had to do but he was on many different sites and disabled toilet facilities with the correct disposal units are definitely not common.

And with regards to normal intimate relationships its definitely possible. We were ttc for two years prior to steve. And conceived ds 6 months after he was fitted.

But definitely do not insert anything into the stoma site lol. Toilet humour at its darkest.

Aw congrats bim that is lovely

No,don't worry I won't be shoving any tools into stoma

stoma sex is a thing, apparently

one of my best mates had a permanent stoma fitted when they were 28. My sympathies to you guys

isn't Math great, everyone ?

and yes, warning someone that if they don't do the thing that repulses them (whatever that may be) then they might get dumped is coercion in it's purest form

shame on that poster

Well, almost anything can be A Thing, can't it? Or strike the 'almost'….
That does not mean that everybody has to be in to every 'thing'

I'm going to have to hide this thread because I wee myself a bit whenever I look at it.

The long pole, stick it up his mum.

Comedy gold.

There was a thread on here about a woman whose husband wanted to have sex with her stoma. Apparently stoma sex is a thing. I found the whole thing completely disturbing tbh

Just had to return about the "As oneday has confirmed, there are 'tools'....one looks like a corkscrew"

My brother in law's a doc in A&E. A bloke came in with a large courgette stuck up his bum, that he could no longer get a grip on. They had to use a corkscrew type device. Like removing a cork from a bottle.

"They had to use a corkscrew type device. Like removing a cork from a bottle."

RubbishMantra I was in A&E for 4 hours yesterday. There was a man there who was standing up the whole time, I was wondering why he didn't want to sit down.

Now I think I might know. ..

I don't even know where the prostate is?

Yes, removed piece by piece. Wouldn't come out as an entire courgette. So like a cork when it goes all crumbly I suppose?

There's been times when the fire brigade have had to have been called out, where they "accidentally slipped over" and the bedpost ended up the arse. Or "vacuuming naked, and willy got sucked in". (These aren't my own examples, just ones I've read about mind)

Oh, another one is the old boy with piles, who used a live artillery shell (saved from the war) to pop them back in. One day he pushed it too far, had to go to A&E. Because it was live, they had to call the bomb squad out and build a lead box around hid bum before they diffused it.

God, I keep coming back to this thread even though it's making me incontinent.

And the phrase poo crumbs Faez.

Thanks Coco.

I never thought inner organs could be sexual.

Well well.