dp is really into prostate massages but it just makes me gag

[lexiepix]

Dh has told me how much he wants me to massage his prostate and it is by far his favourite thing sexually. I've read a lot about it, bought some massage tools, but every time I come to give it a go, I just gag and feel like I'm going to throw up. Has anyone overcome this?

AF I said earlier I'm nor being coerced into it, quite the opposite actually as I want to do it but im finding it off putting.

Nobody "wants" to do something of their own free will that causes them to gag. Sorry, he may not be holding a knife to your throat but you are being coerced nonetheless.

lexie

Ann summers do toys for men. They have a couple of prostate massagers.

Is there actually any difference between prostate massage and anal?

There's a question I never thought I'd ask.

Dp says its a very healthy thing to do, and helps release toxins and prevent prostate cancer

Also, did you know the word gullible isn't in the dictionary?

How do these Men even discover they would enjoy this?

can you ask him if hes got any less gross fantasies?

Dp says its a very healthy thing to do, and helps release toxins and prevent prostate cancer

That's bollocks, that is. Do you believe everything he says ?

Could you tell us what he would say/do if you simply refused to perform a sexual act that makes you revulsed enough to gag ?

'Chinny reckon' to the DP saying "it's good for your health" - what, sticking a foreign object up your anus is good for you?? I am definitely no expert, but I think he's having a laugh if he thinks it is. Could cause internal damage surely?

Every day's a school day on MN I suppose

I keep seeing this word Yoni everywhere, what is it? I daren't look it up on Google!

Xposted, Yes AF I thought that too

Would it be healthy if you stuck your 5-a-day fruit and veg quota up your bum?

Have a look on love honey, my DP is really into it, especially when have a bj, it's not an every day thing but a treat every once in a while.

If the poo isnt there when you stick the finger up, isnt there still pooey remnants though?

It's quite well known that prostates are sexually stimulating areas, there is nothing weird about him enjoying it, but equally nothing weird about not enjoying doing it to him.

Poo doesn't sit in the bit just up the bum hole , and it shouldn't be dirty especially unless the person doesn't eat enough fibre!!

If the OP says she isn't being coerced, I'm quite happy to take her word for it. OP, sounds like you'd like to try and push your own boundaries and are asking for help with that, have I got that right? Is it the poo issue bothering you? Would having him give himself an enema/anal douche beforehand make the concept more attractive to you (he doesn't have to tell you the details)?

uglyswan, can you suggest anything op should do to suppress her gag reflex ?

and FWIW, because someone who is being coerced doesn't recognise it doesn't mean they are not

we have have many examples of this phenomenon in all areas of sexual interaction

Well no, AF, I do realise that sexual coercion need not be physical, or even overt. But the OP has said that she asked her DP what he likes, he told her and now she's like to give it a try in a way that's enjoyable for both of them (i.e. no gagging). He hasn't been whining or sulking or constantly pestering her, unless I've missed a post. You can't force yourself to like something, but if you'd like to like something, iyswim, it might be worth trying out a few solutions first, before you throw in the towel. Up to the OP, really. But really wouldn't recommend suppressing the gag reflex, if you were being serious there - and I don't think you were, but it doesn't matter. My advice would be to stop before you gag and try again some other time. If it doesn't work and you just go on gagging, then obviously he'll have to do without. But again, it's up to you, OP, where you set the cut-off point and decide to stop trying. Good luck!

Let this be a lesson to you.

Never ask what your new partners sexual fantasies are unless youre actually prepared to get your hands dirty ;)

the simple absence of gagging does not equate to enjoyment either

gagging is your body's way to tell your brain to kick into gear

I am wondering how long you have been together and whether you feel you need to compete with past partners OP.

You say that he said 'it is by far his favourite thing sexually' which leads me to believe that you fear you will never match up if you don't do this. Also, you might worry that he could go looking for this elsewhere.

Obviously, all joking aside, you shouldn't be doing something sexual that repulses you, that is just not a healthy way to live.

^ coercion

If you think the best way to present a sexual fantasy is as a health benefit, to someone who's gagging when they try it, maybe it's time to re-assess everyone's boundaries and communications.

PS if it's just for health he should totally just do it himself, there are loads of implements for it.

Not sure it's really a health must though.

Christ, just don't do it. I decided many years ago that I hate giving BJs. So I no longer give them - why would I? If I thought my dp had to overcome a gag reflex in order to do something personal with me I'd insist he didn't attempt it ever again.

What a horrible thought, that somebody feels disgusted but is forcing themselves to please you. Yuck.