Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2 ··· 6 7 8 9 10 11

Original poster

wwyd if OH mean about one of your kids....

265 replies

whyowhy26 · 26/02/2015 11:22

my boyfriend stayed over last night and although we had a good night he has really upset me this morning
my daughter ( whos 2 ) woke up at 6:30am crying at the stairgate on her bedroom door and woke us both up....I'm fine with this as I get up at 7am anyway and he needed to be up at 7:30ish but I knew he would be moody she was crying so I put the light on in her bedroom and said she could read books quietly while I went to get dressed....bearing in mind she had been asleep since 7pm straight ( she normally wakes in night ) I was quite proud of her
anyway I went to get dressed commenting how cute she sounded reading a book to her teddies....He started going on at me that shes like a newborn ( ie so demanding and cries for what she wants ) has got me wrapped round her little finger, has no routine ( as wakes in night ) etc etc.....I don't know what to say he seems to pick up on every tantrum etc she has which is normal as she's 2!!! but apparently his son never did blah blah blah....just hurts as shes so sweet to him and feel like i need to say something to stand up for her... but what???? saying this is pretty standard 2 yr old behaviour doesn't work as his child/his mates children don't act like that apparently....

OP posts:

Ouchbloodyouch · 26/02/2015 20:54

You don't owe him any explanation. Really you don't. You could tell him that you aren't good enough for him and your parenting style and his don't match. This is all bullshit of course. I just don't think he is going to go quietly...

chinuphigh · 26/02/2015 21:07

She,s F...ing 2 years old! A baby!!!What a vile, abusive, evil,twisted, sick, demented little boy!!! You shouldnt even have to ask other people!! Do what you know is the right thing to do and protect your baby! FFS!

GatoradeMeBitch · 26/02/2015 21:08

I would suggest that you simply let him know it's not working for you, and you don't feel there's compatibility between you.

If he pushes, then you can tell him you didn't appreciate him criticizing your toddler for normal behaviour, and you don't think he would be a positive role model in your dd's lives, and that's a deal breaker for you.

Try to keep it as emotionless as possible, and maybe not the 'It's not you, it's me' approach, because some men will accept that, and tell you that they'll settle for your imperfect self!

Original poster

whyowhy26 · 26/02/2015 21:10

right so this is the msg ive drafted ( and redrafted) ....
I realise u have been trying to call but I havent answered as I really don't have much to say to u apart from this....I realised today our relationship is over, I have put up with u making me feel like crap for a while now hoping it would change but now as ur disrespect seems to be spilling over into being nasty about my little girl u have made my dilemma easy for me, no one has ever spoken about my child like that nor will I
tolerate it ever happening again, I hope you find someone without children that can make you happy as I clearly cant and tbh I'm fed up of trying.
any views pls ladies before I hit send....

OP posts:

GatoradeMeBitch · 26/02/2015 21:14

All I would say is take out the bit about hoping anything for him, because who cares

Maybe after 'Nor will I tolerate it ever happening again', just add 'please do not contact me again'?

GatoradeMeBitch · 26/02/2015 21:15

Or just 'do not', forget the 'please'.

chinuphigh · 26/02/2015 21:16

Yeah. Just tell him to F off. Simples!!

chinuphigh · 26/02/2015 21:16

Yeah. Just tell him to F off. Simples!!

VenusStarr · 26/02/2015 21:18

I'm glad you've decided to end it. Your message is great. I probably would take off the last bit " I hope you find someone without children that can make you happy as I clearly cant and tbh I'm fed up of trying." As that is kind of leaving it open for him to try and 'prove' to you that he'll change or that you do make him happy. Finishing it at I won't tolerate that is a firm and strong message that you're not accepting anything he has to say.
Good luck

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 26/02/2015 21:21

SEND!

MrsJohnLewis · 26/02/2015 21:24

I realise u have been trying to call but I havent answered as I really don't have much to say to u apart from this....I realised today our relationship is over, I have put up with u making me feel like crap for a while now hoping it would change but now as ur disrespect seems to be spilling over into being nasty about my little girl u have made my dilemma easy for me, no one has ever spoken about my child like that and i won't tolerate it. Please don't contact me again.

ScrambledEggAndToast · 26/02/2015 21:24

I agree with everyone else, he sounds like a right arsehole. I would have been thrilled if my son at the age of 2 had slept for 11.5 hours and then read to his teddies He would have hated my place, my son would be up at 4.30am ready to play!!

Get rid ASAP.

KellyElly · 26/02/2015 21:29

SEND x

ChocolateTeacup · 26/02/2015 21:36

Good luck, you can do it

WineCowboy · 26/02/2015 21:38

Good text.

His comments make me feel very uncomfortable and you are soooooooo doing the right thing.

Original poster

whyowhy26 · 26/02/2015 21:54

ive changed the last bit to do not contact me...and sent it on whatssap so I can check hes read it x

OP posts:

Timmytime2025 · 26/02/2015 21:59

Good on you! My ex was like this over his own child and it went very down hill fast he is now ex with no access and police involved. You've done the best thing for your little girl.

LineRunner · 26/02/2015 21:59

You should be proud of yourself. I am so pleased for you to have made this decision for your daughters, and set these boundaries.

Keep talking on here if you need to.

Original poster

whyowhy26 · 26/02/2015 22:04

thank you and yeah I'm sure ill still be ranting tomorrow on here lol....I'm not sure how I feel now??? pleased I stood up for her and myself but sad as I do love him ( again not sure why! ) why do men act like this?? I would never in a million years make anyone feel the way he makes me feel let alone slag off an innocent child x

OP posts:

Timmytime2025 · 26/02/2015 22:06

It's all about control if he's anything like my ex. Sounds like his poor ex did all the child care and so he wouldnt have a clue.

Take a look at this and see if you recognise him.

www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/the_dominator.html

KellyElly · 26/02/2015 22:08

Because he's a twat. That is all. You on the other hand are great

LineRunner · 26/02/2015 22:11

I don't think you love him. I think you may have become emotionally dependent on the idea of loving him. Please don't mistake the emotional hurt you will be feeling as 'love' for him. It's just withdrawal from the blessed feeling of relief you were feeling about the times when he was not being unpleasant.

It was no way to live.

Original poster

whyowhy26 · 26/02/2015 22:14

he said to me last time I saw him that he's the boss in this relationship and I should be submissive...he was laughing as he said it and I thought he was joking but maybe theres an element of truth....I'm just shocked if thats what he thinks that he would be so blatent about it...he obv can see I'm really weak....x

OP posts:

MrsJohnLewis · 26/02/2015 22:16

You're not weak! You've been really strong!

LineRunner · 26/02/2015 22:25

And you can stay strong.

Flip

1 2 ··· 6 7 8 9 10 11

Swipe left for the next trending thread