wwyd if OH mean about one of your kids....

[whyowhy26]

my boyfriend stayed over last night and although we had a good night he has really upset me this morning
my daughter ( whos 2 ) woke up at 6:30am crying at the stairgate on her bedroom door and woke us both up....I'm fine with this as I get up at 7am anyway and he needed to be up at 7:30ish but I knew he would be moody she was crying so I put the light on in her bedroom and said she could read books quietly while I went to get dressed....bearing in mind she had been asleep since 7pm straight ( she normally wakes in night ) I was quite proud of her
anyway I went to get dressed commenting how cute she sounded reading a book to her teddies....He started going on at me that shes like a newborn ( ie so demanding and cries for what she wants ) has got me wrapped round her little finger, has no routine ( as wakes in night ) etc etc.....I don't know what to say he seems to pick up on every tantrum etc she has which is normal as she's 2!!! but apparently his son never did blah blah blah....just hurts as shes so sweet to him and feel like i need to say something to stand up for her... but what???? saying this is pretty standard 2 yr old behaviour doesn't work as his child/his mates children don't act like that apparently....

He is horrid, he can't be around your lovely daughter. You need to go back to basics and think hard about why you would tolerate a man around who you would expect annoyance from and would need to accommodate by adjusting your behaviour. Your self esteem for relationships is not where it needs to be-don't model this to your dd and get a partner worthy of you.

Imagine a real partner might have taken her downstairs, made you breakfast with her then read to her whilst you ate together.

I wonder how often he got up with his own son? Or was his son's mother stressed out trying to keep the poor child quiet so daddy wouldn't be moody?

Don't inflict this man on your child, she doesn't deserve it.

Waking a 6.30 and calling for you is absolutely normal behaviour.

Your boyfriend is a dickhead.

What would I do? Bin the twat

I feel like I need to say something to stand up for her

Yes right now she really does need you in her corner, that means telling him to leave permanently and telling her how clever she was sleeping all night in her own bed and how much her teddies really enjoyed that story.... all the things you sound like you want to do, if only he were not chipping away at your relationship with your daughter.

wow Thank you for the replies :) yeah he was living with his son at age 2 but his ex has never worked so I assume she did most of the childcare and he seens to think his son can do no wrong now so I'm not suprised he came out with that comment....I did explain that I have colleagues at work with children the same age that have the same problem as its a bit of a morning tradition of asking each other how much sleep did you get last night....but he says they must be doing it wrong too as they are not newborns like my daughter apparently acts they are 2....
I'm just annoyed that last night she was REALLY good! 6:45pm-6:30am without a sound and then after admittedly kicking off for 5 min or so screaming then happily settled to read books in bed on her own while I got ready...She just didn't want to sit in the dark as was awake and bored....dont know why he cant see that :(

Good God.

Get rid, now. Who treats children that way? If someone had said that to me about my son, he would have gotten the following.

"Oh, really? Your views on my son are interesting. Now, would you be so kind as to remove yourself from my bed, pick up your clothes and get the fuck out of my house. Shut the door on your way out and don't contact me again. I'll be too busy attending to my child, who despite the screaming and tantruming, I actually enjoy spending time with." Polite smile.

Just out of curiosity, how long have you been with this twat?

What's he going to be like when your child gets up to sleep in your bed, which lots of little children do? What are you going to do about his completely unacceptable behaviour is the question?

Why did you even bother to explain?
He has disrespected you and your child.
You do not need to justify yourself to this guy, who the hell does he think he is? He was a guest in YOUR home not super fucking nanny on a placement.
Get angrier.

Your child sounds more mature than him - there's your answer.

It IS completely normal for a 2 year old to wake in the night.

My 2 year 3 mthings old woke in the night last night. Just before I went to bed (luckily!). All he wanted was his muslin cloth which he couldn't find in the dark. I handed it to him. He went back to sleep until 9am this morning.

Some nights he sleeps all the way through. Sometimes he doesn't. He doesn't need much - but he does have needs like any human being. Wet? Dirty? Thirsty? Scared? Bad dream? Etc...

op I really hope you take heed of the unanimous advice on this thread.

linerunner nailed it in the second post.

Get rid.
Don't put it down to him not understanding.
Don't leave her alone with him -ever.

Just because he already has a son does not make this man safe/nice.

You will do your daughter a great disservice if you keep him in your life.

Take it from someone with bitter experience.

Get rid of him. He has shown his true colours early, please put your child first. It will get worse, constant put downs, slagging your child off, when she is old enough to understand he will start on her, telling her to her face.

Please put your child first.

For a parent he sounds totally fucking clueless. No 2 children are the same.

But its not about your DD, its about him being a jealous little fucknugget and grumpy because he got woken up.

Tell him to fuck right off. Your DD should not have her life, home and routine changed because of that whiny fuckshit.

Have you dumped him yet? Get on it. A simple text. "I don't want to see you again, I don't think it's working out." End of and breathe a huge sigh of relief that you and DD have had a lucky escape.

I hope she didn't hear any of that awful shit he said, I would have shown him the door and to not have bothered getting dressed first

Honestly though the first words out out of his mouth ever, disrespecting my child would have been the last words he would have said. Sorry op you've dropped the ball, tell him to make sure the door doesn't hit his arse on the way out.

He's an idiot.

You knew he'd be moody because she was crying? Are you already tiptoeing around this man and his mood swings?

How do you think he's going to react when she has a full on toddler meltdown?

Don't wait to find out. Don't put your kids through that.

I'd realise that this was not someone I wanted round my child because he came across like he resented them and I'd know that that is a great big huge massive deafening alarm bell and I'd choose my child and tell him to get stuffed.

My child is so fantastic and here's a big list of all that is wrong with your child = shit life for your child.

I have been with him just over a year....hes not horrible to her just digs at me about how she acts...She is a very strong willed little girl so so much different from my older daughter whos very quiet and shy whereas my 2yr old is loud and balshy...I thought this was pretty normal for her age but in the past he has suggested that maybe she has "behaviour problems" etc...although the nursery and myself feel there's nothing wrong with her and alot of the time she will sit and play quietly/nicely etc its normally when I'm on the phone she starts whinging and he picks up on this everytime he's on the other end of the phone but doesn't realise she's been a good girl the rest of the day.....sorry for ranting :(

I have a three year old and I have dated over the last year. The only people even worth continuing to see are the ones that say "your daughter comes first". He sounds like that is the last thing he would say.

Horrible man. Someone who speaks like that about a two year old should not be allowed to stay in the same house as her. It's HER home, not his and she can wake up when she bloody well likes

So he started on putting your daughter down to you at aged 1

I'd be very worried about his attitude to her. Sleeping through like that is great, being happy to site with books even better.

His attitude isn't going to change, and he could really affect her self confidence.

His suggestion of 'behaviour problems' tells you where this is going. His attitude will CREATE behaviour problems with your darling DD.

Seriously. Get rid of this man before he does long term damage.

You have nothing to feel sorry about, you know yourself this is not right, he wont get better, he is showing you he has zero tolerance for your child, it wouldn't matter if she was made of candy, he'd still see her as the enemy, you will be constantly defending her in front of him, is that what you call a normal relationship?

'I don't know why he can't see that'

He can 'see' perfectly well but he's a selfish man and an unpleasant man who doesn't care about anyone but himself. It's your and DD's home, not his, and you should not be changing things just because he chooses to be moody.

So for a year he's been complaining about your child to you?

And when she's old enough to understand what she's hearing and what this man you have chosen thinks of her?

This man tosser doesn't like your daughter. Surely this is obvious to you by now. You can't make him like her but you can finish with him and end his involvement in her life.