DH and I have been together about 10 years. From 30 to 40. Done having kids now, we have 3.
When we first met we had sex 4-5 times a week. Never more than once in a night. The first time I've had a BF that seemed to be able to 'take it or leave it' about sex but he was often "too tired" for a morning session or again later in the night, and everything else in our relationship was wonderful so I ignored it.
When I did push him to do it, he was so kind of 'heavy' as though he was struggling to stay awake, and it was all too much effort, that I gave up trying.
He was interested in having sex when I've been pregnant. I think he likes me bigger with a big bum and boobs. I mention this because he also has a porn addiction (watching women with big butts being shagged from behind). That's what turns him on it appears. When I am not pregnant I am a slim size 8-10. He has had counselling for the porn and no longer watches it.
In between trying for babies we have sex maybe 1 or 2 times a year. At the moment it has been over a year.
I don't particularly enjoy sex with him because he doesn't touch me or run his hands over my skin. Sorry if TMI, but I don't feel 'desired' by him. He seems to have no idea what turns me on she touching me down there. But the real problem is, he doesn't seem to want to know either. The least amount of effort he can out in, he will. It's so depressing writing this down.
I used to make an effort in bed to turn him on. I don't feel like bothering anymore when we do have sex because I know he can't be bothered to try and make me orgasm. He is the only man I've been with who doesn't seem to get turned on by seeing me turned on.
Is he having an affair?? He travels every month for work, it's definitely doable for him and I would have no way of knowing.
Is he asexual? Is he gay?
I am laying in bed next to him, waiting for him to fall asleep so I can run my hands over my own body!!! I need him to do that but he doesn't.
When he cuddles me, he never slips his hands under my clothes to touch my skin. Is that weird or am I being weird needing that so much?
He does make an effort to kiss and cuddle me when he comes home from work but always in front of the kids (not sexually, just affectionately). When the kids are in bed he falls asleep or watches TV. It's almost as if it's 'safe' for him to kiss me when the kids are there as he knows it can't lead to anything.
I cuddle into him at night, he never comes to me for a cuddle. I lay there with his arms heavy like a weight on me, like it's a chore for him. He never glides his hands over me or actually cuddles me.
I need sex. I am desperate. I want to go out an have passionate sex with someone I have just met. Or an ex BF. Anyone who actually wants me rather than just going through the motions like my DH does.
What is his fucking problem? I am not unnactractive. I used to have guys queuing up to date me. It's like sex is too much fucking effort for him. I am so frustrated and resentful. Sorry this is so long. I needed a massive rant.