DH spent over 500 in strip club

[Graceunderfire01]

Hi
This is my first post. I had posted earlier but my message disappeared. I know this topic has probably been done to death but I'm looking for some help/ information.
Whilst going through our bank statements tonight I've noticed a number of translations for a strip club in our city and I'm fucking raging. Dh was entertaining clients after a corporate even that he was part of and obviously took them to this strip club. How fucking clichéd! Anyway my question is the translations are for set amounts , £110 x2 and £130 x2 - what is this likely to be? As in what service did he avail of? You may laugh at this question but my knowledge of the prices and range of the 'services' on offer at these places is not good.
Can anyone please help? I'm mortified to be asking and fucking livid I'm in this situation.
Thank you

Goldie my last post was in reply to your first post btw- another crosspost. Just in case you thought I sound sarky in response to your second post.

No probs! It is possible that he was buying multiple dances with 'tokens' though. That is a possibility. So I was hoping I'd be right about the booze but I hadn't thought about the 'token' possibility. Sorry... my bad!

Yeah, I got that... don't worry!

The 130/100 in VIP sounds like he's buying 15/30 mins with a private dancer in the VIP section.

Shit fluffy. Really? My issue now is if I confront him, he says it was just drink etc I'll have noway of knowing if that's the truth or not as the number could easily be explained by a 15 minute private dance in the VIP section. I'm utterly gutted by this. I guess I was hoping to hear 'oh that's too much sounds like a drinks bill' . So gutted

Some info about costs I found on google. From 2011 but might be hepful:

thelinc.co.uk/2011/02/lap-dancing-uncovered/

It depends on the club, but I know most clubs offer VIP packages which is a set time with a girl as opposed to a dance and is often in a different part of the club.

It could have been champagne. 4 bottles of champagne.

I've been to strip clubs on business.... rarely, admittedly. The cost of admission and drinks would easily be covered by those kinds of sums from what I remember FWIW I also use my personal credit card for business expenses and then get the amounts reimbursed. Its mostly things like railwsy tickets, phone bills and hotels..... I don't have a partner analysing my statement.

Why don't you just ask?

Could you not phone up the club or look at the website and see what costs what?

I would call the club

Cogito I can't ask at the minute as he's just post op but also I wanted to be armed with a little more knowledge before I did. And yes like you he has used his personal card for business before.
Phoenix a google search brings up nothing regarding pricing. I had thought about ringing but don't know how to phrase it if you get me? Im sure they get lots of phonecall from women querying statements!

I suspect the OP is really worried whether he bought the services of a prostitute. (There being certain 'links' between some strip clubs and some brothels).

We can't answer that, OP. We just don't know. We can hold your hand here, though, as you ask your DP what on earth he was doing or as you ring the club.

It could be that he's cheating, it could be something as simple as drinks (which can be very expensive in some of these places, so if he was entertaining a medium sized group at a high end venue, £130 for a round would not necessarily be ridiculous).

Really, this is about trust and to what extent you really put your faith in him. Personally, I would struggle to deal with the concept of executive entertaining in a strip club. It seems very 1970s to me. But then, some work cultures are trapped back in the 1970s still.

Phone and ask from the point if view of buying a surprise for your oh-so if I had 150 to spend in your club, what could I get I. The VIP area, for example?

Isn't the issue here trust - you think it's possible that your husband has paid for sexual services. Nothing is going to take that seed of doubt out of your mind.

Yeah I'm struggling that I just don't know exactly what want on. And even if I ask and he says it was just massive drinks bills I'll always wonder. I'm not mistrusting generally but I hate not knowing exact details if you get me. If it were any of you in my situation how would you brooch the subject? Would you ask straight out? If so what would you say. I want to be able look him in the eye and gauge his reaction. I fear though even if something went on he would not tell me as he knows we'd be on very shaky ground. This has been a very difficult period in our relationship, we seem to be facing challenge after challenge. (Not his doing or is he to blame) but I just feel gutted today. Really gutted and as I said if it were him that found this out about me he'd be gutted too. I just don't know how to raise this. I feel afraid

By the way I am a very assertive no nonsense person but I just don't know how to brooch this to get th right answer. Maybe because we 'be been having troubles I don't know

My first thought is that this is 500 of the family money. I assume the OP has children. WTF is this man doing spending 500 of their money on unnecessary crap anyway.

I have my own opinions about men who go to strip clubs. Paying to see women (who mostly don't want to be there) in various states of undress. Hmmm. Yes, you have a right to be completely livid about this.

500 "pound" that was

Sakura yes we do have very young children. And yes £ 500 out of our family pot is a joke. I'd never spend that without his ok but in his defence a lot of money is spent on clients per year. So I'm not as angry about that issue it's just what is spent on this time. The seedines, the grubbiness , it's such a fuckin cliche! Like who does he think he is tony saprano?

It's not '£500 of family money' if the company is going to reimburse him. I just paid a £700 car insurance bill with a personal credit card ('family money') but it will be reimbursed in a week or two. Let's keep a sense of proportion.

The club might not be very forthcoming with itemising bills OP. I wasn't paying the night I went to one with business contacts but I remember my colleague being told that the entry on the credit card bill would be something fairly boring looking. Like when the porn channel appears on a hotel bill as 'various'.

This comes down to trust. Ask him what went on. Say up front that you're not happy with him frequenting strip clubs with customers but that lying about it will do more damage at this stage than telling the truth.

Why don't you ask him if he's going to be claiming it back?
Or say, I hope that £500 is going to be claimed back.
I spend £200 - £300 of my own money and claim it back quite often when booking flights and such.
If I "entertained" (which I don't) it would be company money not family money.

If you phone the club and make any reference to a bill or your oh they will not reveal anything.

Haggis/ cogito yes that's what I thought. It wouldn't do much for their business in the long run if they divulged to angry wives what went on in there and itemised bills!

By the way thank you all so much for taking the time to reply