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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

HOBBITS BAR - still finding it hard to move on ......(part 3)

999 replies

greenberet · 15/02/2015 12:08

here we go ladies & drifting dogs welcome too of the harvey kind!

grab your drinks - Brew, Wine and izzietinis dependant on time of day & how we are feeling

Original thread

Part two

anyone welcome, new, old, lurkers we share with you all.
no requirements re posting as & when, one offs, rants, extreme rants, blubbing we dont mind, we've done it all .

we like songs, we like pics, we like humour, we like the words "twunts" and "fuckwittery" & we send each other Flowers often!

Our motto KOKO and our theme tune

join us Smile

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
bobs123 · 22/03/2015 13:05

Hobbit pleased you had a nice day yesterday. I decided to follow suit (alcohol-wise) after reading your message at 4pm and made myself a cocktail - vodka, amaretto, cranberry juice and lemonade. so goo i had another!.

green I find dancing really helps - gets rids of all that pent-up excess energy/ feelings. good for you.

I had a mini woo moment today. Went to the gym and negotiated a change in contract whereby I can go more than once a week at a very decent price. So feeling pleased with myself, and very grateful to the membership lady Smile

Izzie595 · 22/03/2015 19:41

Form E

Does anyone know whether additional pension contributions would be taken as a legitimate expense on Form E?

I was going to explore whether I can make additional contributions to my pension scheme. Like most of us on the thread, I now have a shortfall re retirement income.

Izzie595 · 22/03/2015 19:45

Green just having a laugh about you signing x on all emails!

Heres something to practise for computer skillsGrin

HOBBITS BAR - still finding it hard to move on ......(part 3)
bobs123 · 22/03/2015 20:04

Lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bobs123 · 22/03/2015 20:11

sorry, wouldn't know Izzie. checked the following but no help:

www.advicenow.org.uk/advicenow-guides/family/applying-for-a-financial-order-without-the-help-of-a-lawyer/how-to-fill-in-form-e,10404,FP.html

However if my stbx started making additional contributions which effectively brought his income down I wouldn't be happy.

Hopefully someone else can advise

Izzie595 · 22/03/2015 20:16

bobs I have a photo of the ex dressed in similar attire. In fact, it's the photo I occasionally look at. On the New Years Eve thread, Dowser mentioned that she could see a difference in her ex during his cheating years when she examined the photos. And that photo of my ex, I've decided is the "cheating" photo. Actually, it's probably nothing more than a "cold ugly twat" photo, but it does remind me of what I'm missing not Grin

Izzie595 · 22/03/2015 20:20

Thanks bob yes I had a quick look too before I posted. Although, doesn't your ex have a well paid job? ie no pension shortfall?

iwashappy · 22/03/2015 20:57

Izzie I like the road sign! How apt.

Sorry have not caught up with the thread. We will need a new one soon Izzie

FuckitAndStartAgain · 22/03/2015 21:47

Well the weekend has gone. I have spent it working as so very behind. Going into work tomorrow and pretty nervous.

Agree re new thread - this one is almost impossible for my phone to load!

Good night all

Izzie595 · 22/03/2015 21:47

Hi iwas, plenty of thoughts about Sid's latest stunt.

I have another name for Sid now. Cupid Stunt.

"All done in the best possible taste!!"

Meantime, you mentioned we need to start a new thread soon. So Green, Hobbit pleaseSmile

Izzie595 · 22/03/2015 21:48

Good luck for tomorrow Fuckit

iwashappy · 22/03/2015 22:01

Hello Izzie yes Sid is the twunt that keeps on giving. I do like Cupid Stunt and obviously in the best possible taste!

I would guess thread etiquette might be down to Green and Hobbit to say if they would like to start the new one or not, but I seem to recall Izzie you would have been happy to have started this one if there had been no other takers to be OP.

Izzie595 · 22/03/2015 22:21

I've been pondering the financials again. Had another look at property prices around here in various brackets. Then plan to look at other areas quite a bit further out. Also have resurrected doing the budget. Or rather, have restarted it.

Meantime, have realised that after the twunt has taken them to see the football match this week, there is no reason for him to come round here. The building stuff has now been left to me, the cars are all sorted. And there are no important events looming. He is not "talking" to me, it seems, and that suits me fine. The less contact I have with him, the happier I am.

And this is my last week at work before I have a few weeks off. So the decorating will restart with a vengeance too. I'm getting there!

TabbyTortie · 22/03/2015 22:21

Izzie the form E has a section for current income needs and a section for your projected future income needs. The boxes are way too small so I had to enclose a sheet with it all listed. If you aren't currently paying additional pension you would put that as a future need and it sounds perfectly legitimate if you think there will be a shortfall.

Izzie595 · 22/03/2015 22:23

iwas I feel you are setting me up again. You are a very wicked woman Grin

TabbyTortie · 22/03/2015 22:29

Yes that's a good point, for anyone divorcing its a good idea to keep a budget. Write down all your expenditure going back a few months if you can by using your bank statements and receipts if you keep them and dont forget one off annual expenses. Otherwise you may not know how much you really spend on day to day living and you don't want to be underestimating your income needs.

Izzie595 · 22/03/2015 22:29

Thanks Tabby, that makes sense to me.

iwashappy · 22/03/2015 22:38

Yes Izzie, just think you could have spent last night in a posh hotel!

You certainly sound a lot happier on here when you have less contact with him, your twunt that is not Sid.

You have just had a week off haven't you? Alright for some! I won't mention mine I don't know whether to go in tomorrow or not although I won't be late to bed tonight as feel lousy with my cold so I could have a good excuse.

Tabby makes good points there, thank you.

Izzie595 · 22/03/2015 22:46

Exactly, Tabby. I still have all receipts, but I hadn't yet broken them down into categories. I've started an exercise book for mine, which I keep in the kitchen to do as and when. I much prefer that to PC etc. And yes, it's all the little incidentals that add up.

The kids can put it onto a spreadsheet for me eventually.

TabbyTortie · 22/03/2015 22:51

I wish there was some way for you to go no contact with him Iwas it would help you to detach and heal quicker. One day you won't care about him sleeping with OW and that day might come quicker with no contact. Although my ex and OW relationship didn't last long I know he had more OW after her and I know he hates being alone so I have no doubt he's still at it in fact not long ago he said something which made it sound like he was using prostitutes. I don't care and I haven't cared for at least a year. But I'm nearly three years on from discovering his affair so it does take time but you'll get there.

TabbyTortie · 22/03/2015 22:54

That's exactly what I do Izzie with a notebook in the kitchen you can quickly and easily write down what you spend from your receipts each day then transfer it onto a spreadsheet every so often when you have the time.

Izzie595 · 22/03/2015 22:54

Yes Izzie, just think you could have spent last night in a posh hotel!

I certainly could have. I am an authorised user on his credit cardGrin

Fatty's card I mean. Although if Sid wants to offer me a NO STRING ATTACHED deal on his credit card, I'm game!

And absolutely, I'm a lot happier, or just happy, when no contact with Fatty

Oh, take tomorrow off. Put your feet up. You'll only have to face Sid banging on about his freebie. The hotel I mean, not Choosy

Hobbitwife001 · 22/03/2015 22:59

Hellooo, lovely ladies, ha ha izzie Cupid stunt! He is one of the highest degreeIwas my love, the twattiest twat in twatsville! But aren't they all to be honestGrin

My Lycra twat still hasn't been to collect his remaining stuff or contacted his sons, will put it in the nearest skip soon if he dosent come to get it!

Izzie595 · 22/03/2015 23:06

Hi Hobbit

Don't you just hating using the word "my" in relation to them? We need to name them.....so we have Lycra Twat, Sid Twat, Fat Twat, Twittter Twat, Jacuzzi Twat.......and any other nominations

How long since Lycra Twat contacted his sons? DS2 had a three week gap, as you may have seen.

iwashappy · 22/03/2015 23:10

Tabby yes having the business does make it harder with needing contact, I'm just relieved the children can make their own arrangements with him as it must be really hard arranging access with some of the twunts on here.

It still feels a long way off at the moment that I won't care about him sleeping with OW. It sounds like you are well rid of your ex too. Good to know that you have stopped caring. Thank you.

Izzie obviously the grim reaper has not lost his touch then! You sound a lot happier without Fatty Bucket. Does he look like Onslow?!

I'm very tempted to take tomorrow off, will see how I feel in the morning. I suppose I just want to go in to keep an eye on the business as I wasn't in for most of last week. No doubt Sid will bang on about his freebie. I'm half expecting the normal bollocks about how it was genuinely about the dog and he hadn't meant to upset me.