is he lying???

[confusedmum74]

hi I've been a lurker on these boards for ages reading all the brilliant advice but never posted but here goes...
my boyf and I have been together about 2 yrs and although we don't live together we are now planning to move in together and hopefully have a family I was all up for this until fri night but now I'm confused....he went out with his friends fri night , called me before he left all love u etc etc and said he would keep in touch or let me know he got back ok....This didnt happen which I wasnt too bothered about but then we were meant to ve spending the day together sat ( as I had been really upset friday about something unrelated ) anyway I couldn't get hold of him at all sat sent msgs tried his phone LOTS which was off strangely as he's normally got it in his hand constantly...I was meant to be cooking dinner for us and it was all prepared...he finally rang at 8pm saying something along the lines of left his phone at a mates blah blah blah n then he would be over in a couple of hrs even tho id been waiting for him all day worried! He turned up at 10pm n refused to talk about it ie ive said I'm sorry can we forget about it now etc but its really bothered me.... Some things he said don't seem to make sense but he won't talk about it...either he's lying or just couldn't give a toss how I feel.....I know no one can say for definete he is/isnt lying just someone to talk to would be good as he won't discuss it and me over thinking it is poss making it worse....

No

Has he said anything nice to you since you've ignored him? If he's bothered he'll make an effort, if not, he's doing you a favour! x

We can only tell you our opinions and experiences confused, I learned the hard way.

I appreciate all your opinions :)
yeah hes sent a few nice msgs I dont know if its genuine tho someone can say I love you till they are blue in the face but if you dont feel it/they dont act like it then it doesnt mean anything....
I'm not even sure what I want him to say tho to make me feel better tbh....:(

It is up to YOU, not him.

Do you have real life emotional support?

Are you lonely?

Have you ever spent time as a single Woman alone with your child?

Have you considered talking to a therapist about why you give your power up so easily to men? x

If you are lonely don't stay with him because of this. Learn to live alone, even if you're single for the next six years. Learn to enjoy your own company. You are young in tears. You have a DD and can build a great future for you both via education, hobbies, holidays.

You seem to have so much going for you.

Actions speak louder than words op

hi no I dont really have many people in RL I can talk to....a couple of friends but my mum is toxic and the rest of my family live far away....
yeah I am really lonely...I have been on my own before though and didnt like it much...feel very isolated and hate the nightimes/weekends...the only bit of my life I actually enjoy is when I'm at work as then I have some company....sad eh! x

I just made a big fuck up. ..pls dont be mad ... he keeps ringing/texting saying pls let him talk to me I have been ignoring the txts etc but then caved n rang him bk just to see what he wanted to say....he didnt answer so I sent a msg saying thought u "needed" to talk to me and it was important...got one back saying I'm watching walking dead call u bk in a bit....I shall send one now saying dont bother! I'm sorry for being so weak :( tonights a bad night I dont feel strong and I'm struggling so just made myself look like a fool again...when will I learn he doesnt give a shit! x

No need to apologise to us. Loneliness isn't nice and no I isn't sad at all. Better to be alone than be with a person that prioritises a TV programme over you.

what SS just said

you don't have to apologise to us...we are on your side !

thank u and I'm sorry for rambling on I'm really struggling tonight I feel like this isnt a life I'm just existing just trying to get thru each day till the next time I can have a bit of company...I dont even know whether to answer the call if he phones back I'm guessing prob not I should never have called him in the 1st place....

OK, lovey. If you want to try and get past this with him, you do that. You don't owe us any explanations at all. You can stop posting completely or you can carry on getting your thoughts down, no matter what you decide.

i sense you are not ready to call it a day. That is ok, really it is. However, I think the events of the last week 10 days and the support you have got on your thread have been useful to you and that you have reached a new stage whether you try it for a bit longer or you don't.

Keep posting

Do what you feel is right for you confused. If anybody judges you harshly then ignore, ok?

I dont know what I want anymore AF but thank you x

You're not his puppet. He is selfish.

You're right he is...incredibly selfish, I serve a purpose when he needs me I can see that now, when hes bored, wants looking after/spoiling or if theres no one better to talk to or tv programmes to watch....
never felt so worthless

I can suggest a way to raise your own self-worth

dump the fucker

consign him to the scrap heap where he belongs

let some other woman look after his ego, you have better things to do

imagine how that would make you feel, to know you did that....and you never looked back

Only read your post, OP.

I smell another woman.....

Anyway, yes or no, do you want to live with someone like that?

You deserve better.

He knows you are lonely and down because of your circumstances and using you as his puppet.

You're not worthless as I hope you wouldn't treat someone that way.

He is worthless.

When I dumped a guy that treated me the same way, I felt so much better but it took me two years to do so as I was lonely without him but lonelier with him....

Dumping him at the side of the road after he called me a Bitch and was shouting a me for puck all made me feel great as at that moment I knew he had series psychological problems. He would also shout at me for decisions I had made similar to your Sky TV subscription 'problem'.

These guys have low self esteem much lower than yours.

If he has a good bond with your DD, she'll forget him soon,

@anyfucker....I know thats what I need to do....I'm scared he wont care even if I did that ( is that stupid?? ) he often says when I'm "whinging" if u dont like it no ones forcing u to be in this relationship....I think partly he says that tho as he doesnt imagine In a million yrs id finish with him ... or maybe he just doesnt care one way or the other x

@solesource...thats an interesting point u made about them having low self esteem....ive never thought about him like that ive always thought hes the way he is as ive inflated his ego too much with so much love that he thinks he can act however he wants now n ill still be desperate to see him....I'm starting to "like" him less and less which I guess Is a good thing although I still love him and wish I didn't as this would be alot easier! lol x

You are too good for him and towards him. He likes hurting, confusing and using you as his puppet. These men are users.

@solesource thank u :) I dont feel good enough for him so its nice of u to say so...maybe that's part of the problem that I act like I dont feel good enough for him ( ie punching above my weight ) and hes playing on that....
how do I fake it till I make it as such eg seem like I dont give a fuck until I dont give a fuck or that I'm having too much fun in life to be hanging around wanting him till I am having too much fun and not sitting stressing on my own blagging peoples heads on the internet? lol x

What do you love about him? Actual him not him when he was fake nice for a while at start of relationship?