All of the men seem to become either controlling or spiteful.
I'm now back to square one with the issue of the dodgy car. Last night I read an email sent by him last week which I had merely skimmed then archived. , I was so disgusted by the vile accusations, twisting of the truth, lies and threats, that I told him I would sort the car myself, and I cancelled the test drive [although it was onlu for the model! not the actual vehicle]. Maybe not the smartest of moves re sorting the car, but so be it.
He has been trying to control all aspects of it. I even felt that going on a test drive with him was about exerting his control rather than helping me. He was also trying to force my hand, making me buy a car, "cutting coat according to cloth", and he would generously pay out of his settlement whatever his cost above mine. Arrogant entitled bastard. I'm also expected to commit cash without knowing the final outcome. He will want to maintain the choice. It doesn't surprise me at all, I knew he would avoid showing his hand.i also went back to him about how the maths was in his favour, and that I wasn't agreeing to that.
I've decided to go no contact now, partly for my own sanity and time, and also partly because I can't stand the odious entitled little man he now is.
Office hours too. I'm open for business when I get home from my proper work until my shopping is delivered. That means 1, maximum 2 hours a week. I'm employing Carol "Computer says no".....not the most efficient of workers, but her customer service skill are perfect.
I lost another night's sleep seething about him. I'm happiest without contact.
It's three months today since he left. I feel it's a bit of a milestone to celebrate. In that time I have done a lot of decorating, a lot of sorting, and, despite some of my posts, I think I am getting so much closer to actually wanting this to go all the way to divorce. I credit some of this to the contact, to seeing him as he really is. I am making bigger connections between his actions with the finances and his actions with the unstable frump. Certain events, what he said at the time, I now interpret those in a different light, and it's starting to make sense. He is a very bitter man.
I'm feeling more relaxed about what may happen financially. I'm not worried about moving if necessary. Moving would definitely mean the property was just mine, and I am at liberty to decide who does and doesn't cross the threshold.
I don't want him in my life after settlement. My oldest son agrees that any relationship is untenable due to the OW alone and her continuing attempts to target me. We have both told the ex. It didn't go down well with him. Not my problem.
All in all, I reckon I've done pretty bloody well in three months. Next step is to get some earlier nights and to stop being so lazy about cooking. I really haven't got to grips with the cooking at all.