Back to square one :-( don't know who the dad is :-(

[Halleberry]

I posted a while back this same topic. I had become increasingly obsessed with this and could not settle. I managed to move past it (for a while) until yesterday my new midwife told me my dating scan coil be up to a week or so out. Now in devastated as I'd been told before that done at the right time they are never more than a couple of days in or out. Basically my last period was on or around the 20th August. I slept with my partner a few times between the 25th August until we reconciled properly in September. However after a drunken night in the 7th of September, I slept with a good friend of mine. On the 15th of September I don't a pg test and it was positive @ 2/3 weeks. My first scan put my due date @ 26 May 2015. Meaning I conceived on or around beginning of September (and I was sleeping with my partner at this time). But now after new mid wife saying it could be a week out I'm back to square one and I'm ill over it. Anyone any advice/experience please? Can a clear blue say 2/3 weeks only 8 days after intercourse? Does this seem more than likely paranoia and baby is my partners? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Please no judgment. I hate myself enough as it is and this pregnancy is awful.

Just wanted to say, I really hope you are okay. Please please don't put any more guilt on yourself. We can all make mistakes in situations, whatever the outcome is, it sounds like you've suffered more than enough already. You sound lovely and you should stay that way. Wishing you and your daughter all the best.

Hi Halle, first congratulations on your healthy baby.

You can do a DNA test without your DP's knowledge.

Normally, dna paternity tests are done using oral swabs, taking samples of the cheek cells. Not so easy to do without letting your dp know why you are sticking a swab in his mouth.

However, some companies offer dna testing on other types of samples for example hair, garments or toothbrushes. Start doing some research and make some practical steps to get a handle on this situation. I have found one UK company that test using hair etc. with a simple Google search www.easydna.co.uk

I think you reall need to move forward,as I say, with practical steps, rather than just an emotional tail spin which isn't helping the situation. Find a reputable testing agency, collect a sample from your DH. Like, send his toothbrush in and get the test done.

It is very very likely that this child is your DHs, but I agree you do need to test. However I would personally not say ANYTHING unless you get a test result that shows he isn't the father.

Best of luck

Yes, get a test done, and you can know one way or the other.

If you find out it isn't DH's you can set him free which might be painful, but in a way it will set you and your child free as well, because you can enjoy life unburdened of this secret.

UPDATE

Hi again all. Well, as a previous poster said I shouldn't be saying toooo much in here as I don't know who could be reading it, I cannot go into details about this, but something has happened or came to light medically (not bad) and no it's not blood type or any of that, but this would make it impossible for my DD to be anyone's BUT my DP . My precious little girl is the result of my sexual encounter at the beginning of September with my fiancé. I am 100% sure of this now. How relieved am I, I can't even explain it. I am so happy that I never xonfessed my sin. To think I could have ruined everything and it would have been for nothing. Sure I feel a touch of guilt still about sleeping with my "friend" but that's definitely something I can live with. I've punished myself for exactly 42 weeks over this. And enough is enough. I know I'm going to get a lot of negative comments about the fact I wasnt "honest" .... But I feel ok with that. And I am and will be forever grateful to all those who tried to help me through what has been the most difficult time in my life. Halle feels happiness again for the first time in nearly a year. Xx

Great news! Am really pleased for you .

Brilliant! So pleased for you. Enjoy your little one and family.

So relieved and pleased for you all.

Now you can forget all this and move on x

Halle I am so so so so pleased for you.

Pleased for your daughter and your partner too.

Peace of mind ... Beyond price. So glad to read this. All the best.

I have been a lurker on your thread halle and I just wanted to add that I am just ao happy for you. The relief you must feel must bee immense. Good luck for the future with you and your little family x x

I'm so pleased for you, I have remembered your thread and often think of you. I hope you all the happiness.

You must feel dizzy with relief.

That is FANTASTIC news, enjoy your baby girl now. Remember you are human and you made a mistake but you didn't kill anyone. Move on and be happy. X

Another lurker that is so pleased for you, enjoy your family xx

Good news!

OP I've lurked on your thread a couple of times and remember you. Congratulations on your beautiful baby girl and I'm so pleased to see your update.

Put this behind you now.

You made a nasty mistake and did an awful thing... and, because of the circumstances, you've paid for it in spades.

You've had months of anguish. You've paid your dues. Learn and move on now.

Don't think of yourself as a bad person, a bad partner. I think everyone on this thread who can see how much you've suffered can see the extent of your guilt, shame, and your feelings for your DF.

An unethical, amoral person would have buried it immediately and been happy to say, I'm not going to tell him - better sleeping dogs lie.

Your conscience wouldn't let you do that, ever, not for a moment. You are not a bad person - quite the opposite.

Good luck with your baby- you deserve to be happy and I'm sure you all will be

Oh I am SO happy for you op!
I only found your thread today and could feel your anxiety through your posts.
I am so pleased for you and your family.

Aww thanks everyone. Honestly your well wishes mean the world to me. I don't know how Id have got through the last 9 months without you all. Lots of nice and kind advice from the majority of you. Even when this came to light yesterday and I cried with relief, I was still sitting feeling guilty about what had happened. But today I woke up and decided enough was enough. I genuinely have tortured myself. My pregnancy was horrible, and I didn't enjoy any of it. And it's been so very hard to enjoy my baby girl and lovely family with this cloud looming over me. My self destruction has been punishment enough I think. Horrible mistake I have definitely learned from, and hopefully maybe others who have read this over the last 9 months or in future will take something from it. It's time to start enjoying my baby girl and my son and fiancé and time to learn to love myself again. I hate what I done but I know I'm not a "bad" person. I never wanted to hurt anyone. I know many on here thought my actions to be of complete selfishness because I didn't want to lose my family or go through it alone, and to a certain extent that is true ... Of course I didn't want that. Who would? But I genuinely didn't want to hurt my son, my Fiancé, or any of our families. I love them all xx

Fantastic!

Yay! I'm sooooo pleased for you Halle

That is so wonderful, Halle.

Great news!! Enjoy your lovely family now!

Well I'm intrigued ( naturally ) as my curiosity is getting the better of me wondering what on earth it is that has made it 100 per cent definitely your fiance's but can you understand your reluctance to divulge everything.

However, I'd like to add my add congratulations and hope its onwards and upwards all the way.

I never thought the baby was anyone else's .

Such a lovely update and now you have all the lovely summer to enjoy your little girl and put it all behind you.

Brilliant news!

Amazing news.
Congratulations.
And maybe get this thread deleted now x