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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Back to square one :-( don't know who the dad is :-(

409 replies

Halleberry · 28/01/2015 12:18

I posted a while back this same topic. I had become increasingly obsessed with this and could not settle. I managed to move past it (for a while) until yesterday my new midwife told me my dating scan coil be up to a week or so out. Now in devastated as I'd been told before that done at the right time they are never more than a couple of days in or out. Basically my last period was on or around the 20th August. I slept with my partner a few times between the 25th August until we reconciled properly in September. However after a drunken night in the 7th of September, I slept with a good friend of mine. On the 15th of September I don't a pg test and it was positive @ 2/3 weeks. My first scan put my due date @ 26 May 2015. Meaning I conceived on or around beginning of September (and I was sleeping with my partner at this time). But now after new mid wife saying it could be a week out I'm back to square one and I'm ill over it. Anyone any advice/experience please? Can a clear blue say 2/3 weeks only 8 days after intercourse? Does this seem more than likely paranoia and baby is my partners? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Please no judgment. I hate myself enough as it is and this pregnancy is awful.

OP posts:
GammonAndEgg · 13/05/2015 21:44

Excited for you!

LL0015 · 13/05/2015 22:13

I was around in Jan but namechanged.
Good luck with the section. Have you packed your flip flops ?

Focus on having your baby girls in your arms.

forago · 13/05/2015 22:16

also wishing you all the best of luck xx

elQuintoConyo · 13/05/2015 22:18

Best wishes for tomorrow Flowers

Ooh, squishy newborn Smile

wigglylines · 14/05/2015 01:30

Good luck, enjoy meeting your wonderful little girl Flowers

textfan · 14/05/2015 01:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Edenrose206 · 14/05/2015 06:37

Good luck, Halleberry!!! Enjoy your daughter's birthday!! I hope your C-section goes very smoothly and that you have an easy recovery. Best wishes to you and your little family!! xxxx

YonicScrewdriver · 14/05/2015 06:41

Good luck!

Pidgy · 14/05/2015 07:17

Good luck with everything. Enjoy those cuddles. I hope you get the closure you need.

With both mine it was very obvious who their dad was from early on. (For the record, I had no doubt that my DH was the dad and there was no way it could not have been him).

I'm certain by your dates your DP is the dad, and humans (like lions) will look more like their dad in the first year than any other time. I wouldn't botger with a DNA test unless you still have doubts in a few months time, but I'm sure you won't.

Pidgy · 14/05/2015 07:20

*bother

And not sure why I've mentioned lions. I just found that fact interesting (but I am a bit of a science geek at times, so apologies, as it didn't really add much).

Justusemyname · 14/05/2015 07:32

You do need to get through today with a clear head but you have to do the test. You can't just go on gut feelings or what the baby looks like.

Eastpoint · 14/05/2015 08:05

Good luck today, hope all goes well

Twochipsnobiff · 14/05/2015 12:34

Hope all is well with your c section today X

spanky2 · 14/05/2015 12:47

Hello again. I posted in January. I hope all goes well. Please bear in mind that the baby may take after you... Dh is the father to ds2 but he takes after me so doesn't look at all like him. Please enjoy your baby. Grin

Miele72 · 14/05/2015 12:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fattymcfatfat · 14/05/2015 13:05

good luck.
enjoy your beautiful daughter for now. she is the most important thing at the minute (and your son of course) Thanks

Edenrose206 · 14/05/2015 13:45

Justusemyname, your post isn't very helpful. HB is probably in surgery now; why not just be supportive rather than telling her what she "has" to do? She doesn't "have" to do anything MNs tell her to do! She has been very clear and open about her MH issues, which is why she's having a C-section now, so please, please show some compassion. There will be time for everything, but now (right now) her daughter is being born! Heavens.

Snowflake15 · 14/05/2015 13:47

Good luck Halle!

Awadebumbo · 14/05/2015 13:52

I think just does have a point though the OP is going to have to deceive her partner for the rest of his life about this unless she does the test, it's maybe not something that needs to be hammered home today but it is not something that she should lose sight of.

Justusemyname · 14/05/2015 13:54

Dee rose - I have wished her well but I'm not going to join in the ridiculous chorus of, I'm sure it's your partners baby, Hun. No one knows. A baby needs to know its biological heritage as well as having a father in the caring for but no related too sense. Too much bollocks on here at times.

Justusemyname · 14/05/2015 13:54

Edenrose obviously.

Justusemyname · 14/05/2015 13:55

This is what is right for the baby. Not assuaging the OPs guilt.

Awadebumbo · 14/05/2015 14:28

I agree with Just, I wish the OP all the best and hope everything turns out great for her. But I am not going to join in the it's probably his so say nothing camp.

Edenrose206 · 14/05/2015 15:47

Just, even HB admitted "My heart says this is his baby and the real issue I have is guilt."

I stand by my previous comment: There will be time for everything (including a DNA test, if HB herself wishes to pursue it) but NOW is not that time. As the loving mum of a darling, beloved, genetically unrelated child, I encourage you to modify your moralising tone just a teeny bit! Ta.

Awadebumbo · 14/05/2015 15:54

But Eden the difference is you knew what you were getting into the Op's partner doesn't. This isn't about not being able to love a child that is not biologically related to you. This is about deceiving someone you are supposed to love.
It is not the fact that the child might not be his it is the fact the OP is not allowing her partner to make a choice based on all of the facts.
No matter how well meaning deceit is still deceit.