Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I disgust my dp

299 replies

Imsogross · 13/01/2015 23:29

I've name changed for this so I hope it works.

Dp doesn't really seem interested in sex or any form of intimacy with me. We had sex 5 times last year.

New Year's Eve he told me he was going to make the effort and we had sex. Because I'm so used to never doing it I feel like I don't know what I'm doing. So my confidence is very low.

Tonight dp thought it was funny to tell me that when we had sex I stank. I don't understand how I could have? I had just got out of the shower and I'm a very clean person.

I certainly wouldn't let him near me if I did smell. He laughed at me and watched as my face crumbled.

I feel so ashamed and disgusted with myself. I have put weight on and I'm now 9st which he hates. He likes to tell me I'm overweight too.

I'm so upset and humiliated Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
Imsogross · 13/01/2015 23:45

I know what I need to do, I have for years. It's taking that next step of actually doing something that frightens me Sad

OP posts:
badtime · 13/01/2015 23:45

I remember your other thread. It was one of the saddest that I have ever read.

Why do you feel you have no way out? It's not like you depend on him financially, or being involved with him makes your life better.

Lweji · 13/01/2015 23:47

You don't have to allow it anymore.
What is it that you are frightened of?

chemistc · 13/01/2015 23:49

Please tell someone IRL x

Smudgeandpudge · 13/01/2015 23:50

Oh love, this has broken my heart. You won't smell and you're not overweight unless you are, say, 3ft tall. Please get out. Life is far too short. I'm very sorry for your loss too.

HangingInAGruffaloStance · 13/01/2015 23:50

He is a cruel twat. From that ring stunt I imagine your friends already realise this.

You'll feel so much better when he's gone. Find the strength. Don't let your kids think this is normal.

Original poster
Imsogross · 13/01/2015 23:52

Using my other name on here you would think I'm a happy person. Everyone does.

I'm no angel. In far from it. It's just nice to talk about it really

OP posts:
untouchable · 13/01/2015 23:53

Oh, he is a horrible, cruel, low and nasty 'man'. I am betting he has a huge porn habit or erectile dysfunction and he is trying to make the lack of sex look like your fault.

This will not get any better and you will spend years feeling like a 'non-woman'. I hope you manage to kick him out...I would say "leave him", but he is also a 'cocklodger' so he will need to leave.

Please, please, please get him the hell out.

And you would have to be 12 inches tall to be overweight at 9st...and that smell, it is 'woman'.

KoalaDownUnder · 13/01/2015 23:53

This thread has made me cry. I lived with a man like this for only 2 years and it nearly finished me off. I can't imagine what 16 have done to you.

Please get help to leave him. He will destroy you. It's him, not you. There is nothing wrong with you, absolutely nothing. He is vile and broken.

Thanks
Shonasnowqueen · 13/01/2015 23:54

He sounds just awful... please try to get out of this asap

britishbakeoffblues · 13/01/2015 23:55

You'd be amazed how many of your friends realise he's an utter twunt. You will find this out WHEN you leave him.
So many off my friends have told me they hated my exh now I'm not with him.
As others have said, 9stone is not overweight unless you are extremely short.
You DO NOT stink. All women have a natural smell, and someone will love your natural smell. It is not a STINK.
The best thing you can do is leave this nasty wanker. He won't get any nicer I'm afraid.
And as for the proposal "joke" - what a cunt.

MrsMinton · 13/01/2015 23:56

You earn the money so from that point of view it is a bit easier because you aren't financially dependant on him. You need to take that step. It must seem the hardest thing to do, but it surely can't be worse than being hurt and let down by him? You really don't deserve this. You aren't fat. He however is abusive, selfish and is using you. I hope you can find the courage to take that step. You'll get so much support here with things if you want it.

Original poster
Imsogross · 14/01/2015 00:01

I don't know what I want if I'm honest. My head is in the clouds and I'm so confused

OP posts:
LemonDrizzleTwunt · 14/01/2015 00:04

Can you please tell me where you live so I can come round and tell him to fuck off to the far side of fuck for you, please? This has made me cry, too. I can't imagine what it was like to be 'proposed' to, and then to find out it was all bullshit which he'd gone out of his way to concoct, and then was laughing at your expense.

HUGE unMNetty hugs, OP. And Wine

Original poster
Imsogross · 14/01/2015 00:04

I don't know where my old thread is? I can't even remember the user name I used because I have used that many. It gives a better picture of the man he is.

OP posts:
Original poster
Imsogross · 14/01/2015 00:05

Thanks lemon

OP posts:
TaliZorahVasNormandy · 14/01/2015 00:10

Is he really the best you'll ever have? Nope he aint.

Is he better than living alone? Nope, hes not.

Hoick up the big girl pants and tell yourself, Im better than this and tell the lazy arsehole to piss off down a black hole.

kormachameleon · 14/01/2015 00:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

flyingbunnies · 14/01/2015 00:12

Lordy, I wish I was 9 st. I'm over 13 st, though, and I would still not classify myself as gross and gigantic. Not especially tall, so I don't think it's realistic to worry about your weight.

I think you should lose, say, at least 12 stone of this prat. The whole thing with the ring was cruel, nasty and unforgiveable. As if to say 'ha ha, as IF I would ever propose to you!'

What a nasty, cold man.

badtime · 14/01/2015 00:23

I think this is the OP's old thread. It really stuck with me.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/a1570010-Upset

Original poster
Imsogross · 14/01/2015 00:25

That's the one badtime

It's my own fault really because I let him come home. I've brought it all on myself. I deserve what I get.

OP posts:
Original poster
Imsogross · 14/01/2015 00:31

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/a1606541-I-feel-so-betrayed

This is another thread. It's all my own fault. I'm so stupid to allow this to continue.
I'm afraid. I'm a afraid of the real world and a different life.
I'm a freak.

OP posts:
Original poster
Imsogross · 14/01/2015 00:33

He's 18st 5lb flying

OP posts:
AlpacaMyBags · 14/01/2015 00:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Imsogross · 14/01/2015 00:37

We're not married thank god.
I have been in touch with women's aid everynow and then. He doesn't hit me and he hasn't done for awhile which is good.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread