Is this still going on? I mean do any of these word-obsessed people have any friends in real life? Can you imagine having a conversation with one of them and accidentally letting slip an "offensive" word or mispronouncing something and unintentionally causing offence? And then nearly a week later, being subjected to constant reminders, directives to read incredibly patronising, dummned down literature and being bossed around til all you want to do is avoid that person and never see them again, much less have a conversation with them? Ever find people do that to you? Now you know why.
GallicShhrug Despite explanations of why OP's particular approach (now modified) seemed to point to complications in her relationship
Look dear, I haven't "modified" anything for you or any other bitter and twisted abuser on this thread. You don't get to make the rules, there is no law making it offensive which applies here, and you have no authority over people. I have simply pointed out that my intention was not sexist. I see no reason why the adjective "girly" is confined to women (or girls). You don't have the capacity to grasp that concept, so you are stuck in this loop of being offended. However, if you can point to legislation outlawing the use of the specific word "girly" then please cut and paste the link. Not an advert for soap, not some worthy article by a feminist, but an actual law, specifically relating to that word.
The irony of these constant entreaties that DH must have ASD by people who are obsessed over one word and its meaning, and who constantly and repetitively post on that one word, over and over again.
Twinklestein I wasn't suggesting that by helping her husband the OP was enabling his disabilities, but that she was enabling his denial of them.
You have been very helpful before, but its incredibly unprofessional to diagnose someone without examination. I don't have a disabled husband (he hasn't been diagnosed), and if mild ASD is always considered a disability, then you are going to have to diagnose at least half the UK population (if not more), for which there aren't resources or the will. In fact, there might barely be anyone left who is not disabled, if you consider common character failings to be disabilities. If indeed he does have ASD and is not just a product of a rude and rather useless upbringing or have early onset of another more serious condition. That doesn't make me "disablist", just not as obsessed with disability and trying to label people as disabled as some of you on here. You are being incredibly patronising and if you cannot understand why someone functioning in a well paid job would not want a classification well into adulthood or to use that classification in any sense or form, then I sincerely hope that you do not work in the medical profession.
Can I just say some of you seem to be setting yourselves up as an awful lot cleverer than you actually are. You seem to assume that only you understand or have ever heard of ASD and its continuum spectrum, and that people like me are thick and need to be guided so as to see the light. And gosh, "I can write swear words, I must be so clever". From what I have read, that certainly doesn't seem to be the case and I question how some of the worst posters on here can actually do things such as hold down jobs and continue a social life.
I am so, so sick of this thread. I am, variously, "enabling", "abusive", "disablist", "dim", "vile", "sexist", and goodness knows what else. According to others, I've caused my husband to have all sorts of problems and am basically the spawn of the devil. Yet others maintain I am soooo stupid, I can barely function. If I believed any of that overblown mindless crap, I would have actually shot myself by now. I will encourage DH to seek CBT, which is more likely to produce some useful effects than obtaining a pointless diagnosis to satisfy a bunch of competitive control freaks.
I have to say, I'm not entirely unconvinced that some of the more abusive, pseudo-feminist posters on here aren't actually men getting a kick out of it. Maybe I'm being paranoid, mind you stranger things have happened ont' internet.
In my innocence, I had hoped I might produce a thread with other women's experiences, that I could print out and show to DH, which would make him realise how awkward a travelling companion he can be. Who on earth would show anyone this embarrassment now?