Alone and pregnant

[Natalie12341]

Am 25 weeks pregnant and I split with my boyfriend 12 days ago. And am a complete mess. Am struggling to eat some days I feel ok then bang am a complete mess. He says he will support me. But everytime I message him he never replys which makes me feel even worse.. I had hospital appointments last week he didn't show. We planned a lovely Christmas together so Christmas was quite hard for me.. I have an 8 year old son from a previous r/ship he hasn't really picked up on anything. But am just really struggling. He never texts or rings to ask how I am how can someone that loved me just totally blank me. Never have I felt pain like it. It's affecting my blood pressure and I feel like am always wanting to no what he's doing ect I feel like I will crack up if I carry on.,. It's making me depressed and I just don't no what to do please help

I've took my accounts off I deactivated them. I need to stay strong these next 2 days If I can do this I can do anything xxx

You certainly can. Keep going Natalie, you've done so well

It's tomorrow day and night that's going to be so so hard I have to do this xx

What are your plans?

I have been asked to go to my friends there drinking obs I am not. Ten there on about going to a couple of bars. If I did go out it would only be for a couple of hours I don't no what I should do stay in or go out x

My drinking days are over but I guess you can suit yourself and make your final decision when you're good and ready.

Where you talking about tomorrow chick? Just tomorrow is going to be super hard. But I've still not contacted him Hun god would love to but I will be back to square 1. So I need to keep doing what am doing. Hopefully soon I will not think about him at all xx

He's just texted me again saying sort your phone out :/ what do I do ??

I've texted him saying If anything concerning the baby I will be in touch am shaking god that was hard

New day, new year, new YOU! I'm a bit of a homebody & haven't gone out for NYE in yonks.

If you decide not to go out, remember you're moving to your new place. You can always buy some home design mags & do some no-expense-spared imaginary decorating of your new place. Or do some sketching of the floor plan (it doesn't have to be perfect) & make a plan for your furniture placement.

You can cook a lovely meal for yourself and your son or make a luscious pudding. Snuggle with him on the couch and watch movies. If he conks out, watch your favorite shows or DVDs.

You will make it through. Remember that NYE is only 24 hours in the rest of your life. A mere blip in time compared to the many years you have left.

poor you, how awful. you will get through this.

that was so so hard I've explained saying I need you not to contact me my head is a mess. And I need to put my self right when the baby comes. He agreed with me. My full body was shakin that was horrible it was. So I've told him I will message him when am starting to feel better x

He did seem to understand how much am actually hurting which is good. Because I honestly fault I was going to get a horrible message off him but am still shaking x

Am still shaking what the hell is wrong with me!! I don't feel very strong now. I have to do this for my son and bump I have to

I'm sure it was horrible having contact with him. But you made your position clear and he apparently has accepted it. I think maybe part of you was hoping that he would be different and want to become what you needed him to be. Completely natural. So perhaps that last little bit of you that was secretly hoping 'maybe' is now having to accept that it is truly over.

You've had a shock, it's only natural that you are shaking and feeling weak. Can you take a warm shower and make yourself a cup of tea with some sugar? Or a cup of hot milk?

Remember, what you are feeling is shock. It's not a 'weakness' that will lead you back to him. The worst has finally happened and your body is letting go of it's defenses and hopes. It's bound to make you shaky.

This will pass. Give yourself time.

I agree with Across and hope you can take it easy this morning.

Am a complete mess this morning. I just don't feel strong at all I've been up most of the night. I think my full body was in total shock and I think deep down I actually fought he did want me and baby. Am going out shopping to get something to wear for tonight. Should I reopen my Facebook account or is it I early? X

Ah Natalie the shock and horrible feeling will wear off I felt like that on Saturday when my friend told me she see my baby's father out with his bird on boxing night, I strangely couldn't feel my arms ? Bit weird! I had a long chat with a family friend and it really helped. Go out get yourself a lovely maternity dress there's some lovely ones and get a friend to do your hair for you . Bugger Facebook don't even go there .thinking of you xx

What are the consequences of reopening your Facebook account? (Not sure what this means).

And I know the feeling when someone doesn't want you its very hurtful, I'm trying to block it out to be honest x

It would be hard to not look up his profile and then Natalie would end up very upset if she see something she didn't want to see. I just dont go on there now as you just end up torturing yourself

How are you now Natalie?

I think it's too soon for Facebook. You need to concentrate on yourself, your little family, and your friends. Gather real support from real people in real life. Not posts on Facebook from people sitting at their computers. You don't need to put yourself 'out there' if you understand what I mean. Even though I know Facebook is for 'friends', there's just too much poster anonymity and it's too public a place for what you're going through.

Yes, you've had a shock, now that the 'worst' has happened. But now you can work at building yourself back up and creating a new life for yourself and your children. A real life that is honest and full of the love of the people who really care about you unselfishly and only want the best for you.

Please be very careful if you go out tonight. You are very vulnerable right now and you don't want to cause yourself more pain. I know you won't drink because of the baby, but it can still be rough to be out celebrating when you are upset and sad.

Sorry I've been out shopping all day with my son. Bought baby stuff ect and even treated my self to clothes after I've had the baby. My friend told me to reopen my Facebook account and show him you wil be on Facebook and your not bothered that's what she said.. But tbh am not bothered about Facebook I feel so much better since I've not been on facebook. So that isn't bothering me. I will be lucky if I've had an hours sleep last night am absolutely exhausted today and I've not ate. Just feel sick everytime I go to eat! :/ he messaged me again today saying please be careful if your out tonight and first sign of any trouble get out of there! There the text I got. I was in a shop today and I nearly burst out crying just thinking about everything while I waited to be served. I did because I said to my self stay strong and I done it.. Xxxx

You're doing great. I personally wouldn't log on to Facebook. It wouldn't be "showing him" anything.

I think the fact that he's sending you "concerned" texts when you've specifically asked him not to contact you at all is just him fucking with your head. Please don't get distracted by his nice words that he is completely ignoring your boundaries. I've read this advice a lot - buy a cheap phone with a number just for him and just for contact regarding the baby.