Alone and pregnant

[Natalie12341]

Am 25 weeks pregnant and I split with my boyfriend 12 days ago. And am a complete mess. Am struggling to eat some days I feel ok then bang am a complete mess. He says he will support me. But everytime I message him he never replys which makes me feel even worse.. I had hospital appointments last week he didn't show. We planned a lovely Christmas together so Christmas was quite hard for me.. I have an 8 year old son from a previous r/ship he hasn't really picked up on anything. But am just really struggling. He never texts or rings to ask how I am how can someone that loved me just totally blank me. Never have I felt pain like it. It's affecting my blood pressure and I feel like am always wanting to no what he's doing ect I feel like I will crack up if I carry on.,. It's making me depressed and I just don't no what to do please help

Yy to Vivacia post.

He sounds like a total arse and one day you will see him clearly for what he is. These type of men generally enjoy keeping you 'on the hook'. You are worth so much more, as is your baby. Remember how well you've done so far, keep at it girl, we're all behind you .

Can you block his number on your phone?

Yeah I can I can block it all together. I don't think am strong enough yet to do that but I am strong and I will not be messaging him back. I need him out my body out of everything before the baby comes because how am I ment to look after a baby when am like this. The way I now so he has been told not to contact me. Am not a nasty person but he's the 1 that's blanked me when I've asked him to come to important hospital appointments he will be down south now getting hammered! I've deceived to stay in with my mam and my son am absolutely exhausted off 0 sleep last night! New year new me! Had to be! Xx

The best way to get him out of your head is to block and delete, really, if you can't do it, give your phone to someone who can. Someone suggested buying a cheap phone and give him the number, you can leave the phone with a friend and therefore won't be able to check it all the time and when you do have contact make it only about the baby.
You are only prolonging your agony at the moment as you seem to still be hoping he is suddenly going to decide that he wants you back. Start the new year as you mean to go on.
Hope you have a better nights sleep tonight.

Sleep tight Nat and all the best for 2015.

Thanks you girls tomorrow I am going to block his number and if he wants fk see how I am I will get my mam to tell him. I feel really weak tonight and so tired and I doubt he will message me again tonight xx

Get a good night's sleep. Sweet dreams. New Year tomorrow. A fresh start.

Just had a cry. :( am lucky to have what I have just this time last year I was so happy and I will get there again xx

You will. Don't expect to feel better overnight. Give yourself a chance to grieve. When I was a kid and things would go to shit, we'd tell each other "EGBOK". "Everything's Gonna Be OK". And it will.

Fought about him all night and it's pissed me off because I wouldn't of been a second fault to him! Still feel abit emotional today for some reason :/ well today is a new me so am making a list of what I need to do and stuff I want for my house. To get into that. I don't no where I would be if it wasn't for all of you's with your kind words and great advice. Me my son and my bump that's the way it is now no thinking of that prick xx

I reckon thinking about him will be a habit. Don't beat yourself up if you do start thinking about him, just acknowledge the thought and consciously move on to something else

Plans and lists sound like me kind of thing.

I was in the same situation 16 years ago, but with my first pregnancy. long term boyfriend and we were engaged upt and left when I was pregnant saying he could cope! My only advise is take one day at a time, you will come through and be just fine. I'm now married (to someone else) with 3 more gorgeous children. huge hugs and a hand hold

Vivacia is right. The harder you try to NOT think about him, the more difficult it will be. So just acknowledge it and then say to yourself 'That was then, this is now. Enough of that' and change your train of thought. Even if it's trying to remember song lyrics or a poem. Make your lists, plan a meal. After while you will find you think of him less and less.

Am going out tomorrow with my sister then Saturday out shopping for things for my house then time to get it all painted and loads of hospital appointments. Next week. And I've done well again today still no contact. He said to me a couple of weeks ago that I shouldn't breast feed ect I didn't with my son and wanted to give it a proper go but he's like no don't do it! I think it's because If i do he might not feel as invoked? And maybe if he think he will not be able to have her other night?? That will not be happening straight away anyways I need time to bond with my baby!! I can't wait to start decorating and making my house my home xxx

It's lovely reading how excited you are about getting your home organised and, well, homely.

You sound so much more positive today Natalie, good luck with the house

Natalie, the good news is that you can do exactly whatever you like which includes breastfeeding,colours to paint your home, clothes you wear and the food you eat. You get to chose the baby's name, if and when the ex can see your baby and everything else in between. He has forfeited the right to have any opinions on your life choices.

You keep going. You are doing just fine. Agree with the others, don't try to force thought of him out of your head, just pause and move on. You have a great year ahead of you.

Thankyou everyone. Great advise. My dad's taking me out at the weekend to get me some bits. For the house. Am still really struggling to eat. My mam is very worried about me she doesn't say it but I just no she's always asking what I want to eat. Wish I could just snap out of this but before I was pregnant for a couple of years I had a problem with eating then I would snap out of it. I feel like am slowerly gojng down hill. Just 1 thing after an other. I've told my midwife about my eating and the doctors no at the hospital to. If I am hungry I will eat but when am not hungry am actually nearly making my self sick with trying to force my self to eat xx

Could you maybe stomach a smoothie or juice? At least that way you are still getting some vitamins in your system

Eat anything that sounds good, even if it's not the healthiest. My doctor told me that it's better to eat a piece of cake than nothing at all. Of course, if you can stomach something more nutritious that's better. Try soups, custard, yoghurt, something smooth and a bit bland.

All I could stomach was mashed potatoes and gravy and butterscotch custard. Not the best, but better than nothing!

Am drinking bottles of water with a little bit of juice in them. I have lost a stone in the last 17 days. This has been going on. Hate seeing my mam fusing other me. Wish I could just click my fingers and I would be totally other him. A break up has never affected me like this 1 has before x

Soup? Ice cream?

(Not in the same bowl).

Ah yes, the heartbreak diet, I had a couple of months surviving on Pepsi cola. It's understandable this break up has had this effect particularly being pregnant with the extra hormones flooding your body. You do know you're going to get through it and come out even stronger on the other side.
You're a tough lady, look at how well you've done so far in not contacting him, be proud of yourself for that.
Have you tried the build up drinks like Complan? Just a thought.

No I've not tryed them. It's just the fought of eating. I don't think I look 25 weeks pregnant since loosing weight. I keeping will I get threw this! X