Alone and pregnant

[Natalie12341]

Am 25 weeks pregnant and I split with my boyfriend 12 days ago. And am a complete mess. Am struggling to eat some days I feel ok then bang am a complete mess. He says he will support me. But everytime I message him he never replys which makes me feel even worse.. I had hospital appointments last week he didn't show. We planned a lovely Christmas together so Christmas was quite hard for me.. I have an 8 year old son from a previous r/ship he hasn't really picked up on anything. But am just really struggling. He never texts or rings to ask how I am how can someone that loved me just totally blank me. Never have I felt pain like it. It's affecting my blood pressure and I feel like am always wanting to no what he's doing ect I feel like I will crack up if I carry on.,. It's making me depressed and I just don't no what to do please help

There's really nothing wrong with saying you still love him. We can't just turn our hearts on and off. You can love someone to death and still know deep down that they aren't good or right for you.

I really think you've made a big step, Natalie. Buying that sofa may seem like a 'normal' thing to do, but it really is a big step forward for you! Enjoy the shopping and selecting a sofa that YOU love, without having to think about what 'he' would like!

I've been thinking loads today. And to think my baby could be here in just 10 weeks is quite scary. I've not asked him for anything. I've still got TVs clothes 7 bag fulls at his. He messaged me other day asking when he can drop them off because there cluttering his house!! Which is a lie! As he has the room! But I will get them back in next couple of weeks and start again. In my own house. Most of the house is now decorated. My sons room sitting room kitchen and the hall. Just need my bedroom and the bathroom done. So it's all comjng together every week I keep buying little things I need. Xx

If there needs to be a drop off of clothing, etc it should be 1- with a third party or 2- in presence of others or 3- in a public place. Please do NOT meet him in a private area, his place, nor allow him into your new home.

When I had my bad break up, although I didn't move, I did decorate my house from top to bottom to 'banish the devil' (i.e. memories of X). Your new place will have NO memories of 'him' in it. Don't let him come there and create memories of him in your home!

Can you get your stuff sooner? Have him drop them off somewhere? A third party as Pond says?

Your decorating plans sound very exciting. And quick! It's taken us about 8 years to get all of our rooms painted.

I've never mentioned any thing about collecting my stuff he's never mentioned anything more. Xx

If you need any of your stuff that he has, is there a third party that can arrange it for you to avoid you having any contact with him? Maybe a friend could get it sorted out for you.
Well done on getting your decorating sorted out so quickly x

Ordered a rug floor lamp and wardrobe today. Getting there slowly. Hopefully in a couple of weeks will afford to at back into my house properly. I really want to try and be settled into my house before the baby comes I could have her in less than 10 weeks. My eating is getting a bit better to. Am not getting mch but a lot more than I was. Am still smoking but next week am going to try and stop again completely I done it last time and I will do it again. Only reason I started again was because my head was totally mashed up after the break up x

And yes I could get my mam to sort it all out. He messaged me saying he booked a bonding 4d scan in for 2 weeks time at a private clinic. I don't no what to do! Xx

Ignore him, don't reply at all, you are doing so well and if you meet up with him it will undo all your hard work.
Good news you're eating a bit better and hope you manage to knock the smoking on the head too.
So exciting how well the house is coming on, it will be nice to settle in a bit before your baby girl arrives x

Ignore him, it's not your problem and he doesn't get to pick you up like a toy until he next tires of you.

Focus on your nesting

Ignore, ignore. How is he messaging you? You should be able to block his number. If you don't know how your mobile provider should be able to help you.

I'm glad to hear that you are decorating your new house! That's always fun and uplifting.

Well tonight I've been thinking a lot and am done in the fact of me thinking am ever going to get back with him. Am done I am really done now. Let him go out and get pissed do stuff. Am not pregnant for ever and tbh I don't need anyone to make me happy I have my son and a beautiful daughter on the way. I've decided am going to go back to college once the baby is here and get to where I want to be in life! Don't no if this is me getting other him or and having a good day. Yes he messaged me saying he booked a scan for 2 weeks time at a private clinic. Would never stop him from a wrong his child but I am breast feeding so my child will not be sleeping out till she's Atleast 3 months old wonder how that will go down when we come to that bridge xx

Don't know if this is me getting other him or and having a good day

I think they're probably the same thing. You'll have more and more good days and the bad days will be fewer and further between.

It might be worth starting a new thread to get some advice on what arrangements to have between your baby and her father. I think that 3 months is far too young.

I echo what Vivacia has said, you will get more and more good days, and three months is far to young to be staying overnight without you.

Happy to read you are thinking about your life post pregnancy, great idea to go back to college. its really positive to be thinking of your future.

I just no am goin to feel pressured into him having this baby other night. Tbh if it was up to me I wouldn't let him till she's Atleast 5 month or so but I no am going to be pushed into a corner! When she's here still feeling ok about everything am 28 weeks today so not long left now scan on Monday growth scan see what's happening with her growth fingers crossed everything will be ok xx

He can't pressure you if you block him. Most people wouldn't allow their child to have overnight stays until the child is around 2 years old, if you don't put his name on the birth certificate he will have less rights.

I'll keep everything crossed that your scan goes well xx

And he can only push you into a corner if you allow him to. My mum always says people can only treat you the way you allow yourself to be treated, meaning if anyone doesn't treat you with respect then you disengage with them totally therefore they cannot continue treating you in this way.
Time to get tough as far as he is concerned, the only people that matter are you and your children. YOU get to make the decisions NOT him and if he wants any sort of relationship with your daughter he needs to get that into his thick head.
I look forward to reading your future posts when you are firmly in charge

There are things to decide, for you to decide. How you will communicate about your child (I would consider a cheap phone and email address just for this purpose, as suggested a few times up thread). What access will be appropriate for her. How you will receive maintenance etc.

I don't no what to do I think I will just keep quiet till he try's to say this and that. Well bought a pram today :) been out shopping all day bought more house stuff too :) am absolutely exhausted now. Time to put my feet up and go to bed. Been a long day xx

I bet your shattered, hope you sleep well x

I hardly sleep even thou I am shattered! If I go to bed now and sleep I will wake up about 15 minutes a night. Maybe more I drink a full bottle of water threw the night. And it's not even like I need the loo! I hope I get more sleep tonight as my son is at his granddad's might have a lazy day tomorrow or go out for lunch with my friends all depending on if I have the energy lol xxx

Well, even bad sleep is better than none. I think you should have a lovely lazy day tomorrow and have your friends come over for a takeaway & a good comedy film.

Have a lovely, lazy day today.

Feel exhausted today! So today will be a lazy 1 till later when I go to my grans. Scan day tomorrow excited and abit nervous xxx

Lazy day here too. Three of us are back in our pyjamas.