Alone and pregnant

[Natalie12341]

Am 25 weeks pregnant and I split with my boyfriend 12 days ago. And am a complete mess. Am struggling to eat some days I feel ok then bang am a complete mess. He says he will support me. But everytime I message him he never replys which makes me feel even worse.. I had hospital appointments last week he didn't show. We planned a lovely Christmas together so Christmas was quite hard for me.. I have an 8 year old son from a previous r/ship he hasn't really picked up on anything. But am just really struggling. He never texts or rings to ask how I am how can someone that loved me just totally blank me. Never have I felt pain like it. It's affecting my blood pressure and I feel like am always wanting to no what he's doing ect I feel like I will crack up if I carry on.,. It's making me depressed and I just don't no what to do please help

I was in hospital last night as I've not felt the baby move much over the last couple of days they said I was dyhdrated and had a temp. This full break up is really affecting me! Xx

Oh no, how are you both now? I take it they put you on a drip to rehydrate you. Is your baby ok?

She moved a little bit today but nothing like she normally does. I don't feel a 100per cent yesterday I just didn't feel well but still went out ect. I just felt exhausted. Could just sleep xx

Are you both ok now? Does this make you feel more motivated to eat and drink properly?

I hope you managed to get a decent sleep and are being well looked after.
The last thing I want to do is upset you when you are so low, however, you have to start looking after yourself, you and your baby need nourishment, please ensure you eat regularly and drink enough water/tea/cordial whatever it is you prefer. I know how difficult it is to eat anything when you are going through a traumatic breakup but your baby needs you to eat so she can grow and be well. If you don't then you may well end up in hospital for the duration of your pregnancy. I am rooting for you Natalie, I really hope you are feeling a little better soon x

I am eating a bit better my craving is water so I've always got a bottle of water in my hand I can drink up to 6 bottles a day but yesterday I was so busy running around I only had about 1 and a little bit. I just think am totally run down with everything that's happening in my life. I do want the best for both of my children. I just need to pull my self together xx

Water is great, probably the best thing to drink. It's totally understandable that you are run down, you have to cope with a breakup whilst being pregnant, an ex who is a selfish tosser, a little one to look after, moving house and on top of all this you have your health condition. Just try and eat a little more if you can. I'm thinking of you and this thread is the first one I look at each day, wish I lived nearby so I could help you out.

Justwanttomoveon thanks for being so nice. Couple f years ago my friend came to stay with me for 6 weeks I was going threw a break up and in that 6 weeks I was to busy giggling enjoying my self to ever give this man a second fought but out of the r/ships I've had never felt like this I think it's just because am pregnant. Why am finding it so hard I've had my first day in today. Never stay in as that's when my head ticks and think about things it's been a very long day so glad it's nearly bed time. Got the midwife coming out on Tuesday morning to see how am getting on. I need to pull my self together I no I keep saying it but I do. I no I need to it's just very hard to get some sence of normality back in my life. As I still don't no what to do with my self most days. Xx

Give yourself some credit, you've managed to stay no contact for the most part and yes your pregnancy hormones are really not helping, it's only been a month or so since the breakup so understandably you are still feeling raw about it all. It's hard when you have time on your hands and your mind starts going over things. I hope you manage to sleep, never underestimate the power of a good nights sleep.

When do you get your test results? I hope they are ok. Let your midwife know how you're feeling, she will be able to give you some practical help I'm sure. X

Hardly slept again :/ might have an hour when I put my son into school. I feel ok today I need to remember I can do this and that am a strong person. Tbh am to tired to even think about him xxx

Been on the phone to the hospital I won't get my results back for a week as the midwife diabetes nurse isn't in. :/ xx

Hope you get some sleep today, the weather is appalling here and looks like most of the country is the same so you wouldn't want to be out in n it today, get yourself snuggled up and hopefully you will drop off to sleep for an hour or two. Shame you gave another week to wait for your results x.

Just wated to add my support. My partner (after a lot of flip flapping) told me he was not interested in being in our baby's life when I was 5 months pregnant. The first thing he did was defriend me on Facebook (complete twunt I know!)No contact from him since then but after the initial shock I feel it is for the best. I know how hard it is being pregnant and alone and now I'm close to my edd and feeling knackered and having to buy all the last minute baby stuff etc, the reality of beng single and preg is still massive, but just keep busy and be nice to yourself (I'm loving scented baths, Netflix marathons, cooking nice meals and making an effort to meet up with friends and family as much as poss.) If you need any support feel free to pm me!

Thanks girls I didn't end up going back to bed went out an got some bits in for my son. I was just walking along today and I felt my self filling up. With tears I couldn't even look in the card shop as it's full of valentines things and cards. Broke my heart. It's mad I can be fine 1 minute then the next a complete mess. He's messaged me today abou the midwife appointment I have. He's also said he will be there for the baby 100 per cent. What hurts me more is he wants the baby but doesn't want me. This baby was planned and it was more him. If am honest. Am thinking about sayin to him if he does care for me still will can we cut all contact completely how am I ment to get over this if he's still asking and wAntig to come to appointments and scans ? He was a great man when I was with him but I've seen a totally different side to him since we have finished not the same man I fell in love with and I have said this to him like his attitude has totally changed the reply I got was that he's jut happy!!! Xx

Natalie, to be brutal, going to scans and appointments as the partner is a nice thing to do. It means you are supporting your partner, watching your baby develop and take an interest. BUT...if you are not in a relationship then it's different. The pregnant woman wants support from someone who is actually being supportive. The 'watching your baby develop' bit is the icing on the cake. Ex partners who are behaving like twats don't get any icing. It's what they chose to give up. So you have with you whoever IS supporting you and helping you. Mum or a friend? You get to chose. Ditto the birth.

Whatever you do, do not give him any hope at all that he will be part of this process. Contact after birth will also be your call.

Tell him straight, 'no, I will tell you if there is anything you need to know but you will not be coming with me'. And mean it. There is nothing worse that having important appointments ruined by a bad atmosphere or sniping. They are for your and your baby's wellbeing, not his.

Have you been and bought proper food and made some meal plans for the week? If not, please do. You need to show your midwife that you are taking care of yourself. I truly don't want to sound harsh but honestly, your baby cannot feed herself, that is your job whether you feel like it or not.

Natalie, sweet, you must, MUST find some way to block him. Even if it means getting a new phone or changing the number for your current one. Because if you've told him to stop contacting you, he isn't listening. I don't know if you've noticed but you seem to get to a place of a little peace and a bit of calm and then the bastard texts you some bullshit and BOOM there goes your progress. Right now, you aren't able to separate his desire for the child from his desire for you. He may want the baby but that doesn't mean he wants you, sorry to be blunt but there it is. You have GOT to cut him out of your life right now, just like a cancer. There will be time enough after the baby comes to decide what involvement you want him to have.

You can't believe a word he says. If he'd toss the mother of his child aside like yesterday's newspaper, what makes you think he'll 'be there 100%' for the baby? Please don't trust anything he says.

He really is a complete twat. I completely agree with across and Matilda. YOU are in charge of who attends your appointments and the birth, he can fuck off to the far side of fuck and then fuck off some more (to quote a well known mums net saying).
You don't have to put his name on the birth certificate which will give you more control.
It is perfectly normal to suddenly burst into tears, I spent a good few months doing this when my ex and I broke up and I wasn't dealing with pregnancy hormones as well.
I hope you are eating something, matilda is right, your baby needs it, I'm not being mean, I really feel for you and would like to beat seven bells out of him for putting you through this.

I agree Natalie you really have to break contact with him. This drip-drip contact from him is like poison.

Hi Natalie just checking you're ok x

Hi I've not been online I've been to midwifes sons clubs last night looking for a pram ect then bloods this morning. Am having a lie down as am so tired. I think something hit home yesterday I can be on my own and stand on my own 2 feet! It's not going to be easy but I can do it. And I no I've mentioned I want to no what he's doing ect but today I don't care I really don't hopefully this is me finely gettig other him! I no I deserve better. And 1 day someone will want me for who I am! So yes am feeling a lot better today just really tired xxx

Hooray! Natalie, I think you've turned the corner. There may be some 'two steps forward, one step back' but you're getting there!

Have a nice nap and wake up with a smile.

That's great, you're getting there, hopefully you will get a decent nights sleep x

Keep going Natalie.

Thanks ladies I do still love him I just no I need to get on with my life the best I can. I keep stopping my self buying a sofa ect because I fought we would sort stuff out but this weekend am actually goin to buy 1. I need to take the first step and trying to get this place sorted before little legs is here. And I want me and my son settled in before she's here xxx