Would you date a single mom with 4 children from 3 different partners living on benefits

[Magicman1]

Hi
For a while I have been chatting to this woman online she seems really nice but I wonder if I should date her.
I am late thirties single no children etc living up north.
We get on well and she would like to meet but I'm no sure what's best.
She has four children from three different partners. None of her exes bother with her children and she often gets depressed about her predicament of being a single mother with 4 kids living on benefits.

Do you think I should meet her or should I steer clear.
I like this woman but not sure it would be a good idea to get too involved
What do you think?

Any advice would be appreciated ladies

Dione you misunderstood the OP. when he said he couldn't win, he meant that if he said he had doubts about seeing her, a chorus of MNs would berate him, and if he then said he would see her another chorus would still berate him.
He was explaining that whatever his decision was, some people would disagree with it- ie 'I can't win'.

SaucyJack Mon 15-Dec-14 18:23:32
"No one plans this type of thing"

Oh I'm quite sure she didn't plan it. I don't find it hard to believe at all that they were all arseholes that fucked off and left her in the lurch. The thing is..... most people would've learnt to be a bit more cautious before rushing into anything else after the first one or two relationships went tits up. The OP said the oldest child was 7. Even if the youngest is still only baby, this means she's been having a baby with a new daddy every other year.

It isn't snobbery to say this isn't the wisest way to conduct one's family planning decisions.

^What Saucy said

Personally, the whole situation just screams baggage and I would run for the hills.

Also, love how a number of people on here are trying so hard to profess their ‘non-judgemental’ credentials on here.

You've got to take your hat off to her having the time to be on a dating site with 4 young children to look after.... Must be no mean feat in itself.

You have to think about long term. She has to think of her kids first. What ever decisions you make has to include them.

Would you feel comfortable coming second to them?
Would you feel comfortable stepping in as a father figure/support?
What happens if you break up? How will that affect the children?
Do you feel ready to step into a family?

There's a lot to ask yourself. If any of those answers where no, talk to her about it. Being honest is the only good solution.

Time to be on a dating site ... Jesus aren't mothers allowed to have a life so what! Kids generally go to bed early ... The bitchiness from so e of these posters is unreal no doubt you all have perfectly, neatly sewn up lives, never make any mistakes and never get depressed good on you ... Puh

OP I don't see why she has to know about this thread you made an enquiry and you got some great advice and lots of bitchy judge comments based in the scant information you gave. Just go with your gut. There's no point analysing everything to death just live it and see ...

i agree with justasitis. im a single mum to 4 and i have found it very hard to date a man that actually gets what its like to have 4 children. i cant just drop things and go out when i feel like it... sometimes i might get called back early. sometimes the kids play up and its a madness. and the ex seemed to think my kids had an off button.