Would you date a single mom with 4 children from 3 different partners living on benefits

[Magicman1]

Hi
For a while I have been chatting to this woman online she seems really nice but I wonder if I should date her.
I am late thirties single no children etc living up north.
We get on well and she would like to meet but I'm no sure what's best.
She has four children from three different partners. None of her exes bother with her children and she often gets depressed about her predicament of being a single mother with 4 kids living on benefits.

Do you think I should meet her or should I steer clear.
I like this woman but not sure it would be a good idea to get too involved
What do you think?

Any advice would be appreciated ladies

Are you a teenager?

Don't be silly why

It was a genuine question which you havent answered

No I am not a teenager ok

Believe it or not I do actually know someone who was a mum of 4 from 3 different dads. She got together with a nice, straightforward guy, soon got bored of him and now she's a mum of 8 from 5 different dads. Oh and she made a false rape accusation against him and tries to keep all the kids' dads away from them. Except, bizarrely, the dad of her first 2 - he's a drug dealer.
She's a nutter and I wouldn't want anyone I know to date her - but it has nothing to do with the fact that she lives on benefits!

I'd run a mile away. Not due to judging but due to it being very impractical and awkward. Why make life complicated.

You don't know her and you are not involved with her - I'd find someone more available and with less baggage.

Well....you obviously have your sights set high....enjoy

It's not harsh OP. I think the fact that you have posted this woman's personal, financial and family details on a Mumsnet and asked strangers to publicly judge her suitability could be a bit of a deal breaker for some women.

And you know what? Maybe she'll be totally fine about it. Any half decent man would tell her before the date and let her decide.

I have not mentioned any names where she lives or any financial details on here that's private Dione and know ones business

Why should I tell her anything she might be lying to me about things

Great start

Oh FFS!! Dont go near her. In fact dont go near any woman til you sort out your trust issues. You havent even met her and are already viewing her with suspicion and trying to work out her 'motives'. Seriously, that is not normal. Sort your head out before you go and mess about with other people's lives.

Men get ripped to shreds on here haha

OP if you like the woman and don't mind that she has kids go for it but bear in mind she comes with those kids and she will always choose them over you. I've always admired a man that takes on other men's kids.

So considerate of you to not give her name and address OP.

I think that she deserves to know that her potential boyfriend saw fit to tell Mumsnet her personal, family and yes financial details and asked them to judge her. And I think she deserves to know that before she proceeds with this relationship.

And you really do sound about 10 years old. I'm not convinced you arent a teenager thinking about embarking on a relationship with an older woman with children.

And women never post on forums asking for opinions on potential boyfriends,or even current ones,based on their circumstances and baggage do they

Men get ripped to shreds on here haha

Dickheads (of both genders) get ripped to shreds.

Many men reside very happily in MN land.

Whatever I do I can't win

Not sure what you mean by that (do you like playing the victim?)

But yeah you can win, leave her alone- she doesnt get involved with someone who didnt trust her from the get go and you dont 'get made' a father to baby number 5. Win win.

Ok think I will leave her alone not worth the hassle thank you to everyone who gave advice I have no more to say on the issue

Ok think I will leave her alone not worth the hassle

Yeah you're probably not.

It's not about winning OP. It's about beginning a healthy relationship. Isn't that what you want? That can't be done if you keep this from her.

This thread exists. She may stumble upon it at any time and when she does, it's probably going to be a thing for her. It could be so big a thing that it wrecks your relationship.

And you don't want that OP. Do you? No, best to tell her now and let her decide whether to proceed now, before either of your hearts are broken.

Not going to post on the subject, as it just doesn't add up, but just to say that I'm from the midlands and we use the spelling Mom!

No. She's a cuntlodger.

I'm from the Midlands and most definitely don't use the work "Mom" thank you very much!