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Original poster

Would you date a single mom with 4 children from 3 different partners living on benefits

181 replies

Magicman1 · 15/12/2014 15:59

Hi
For a while I have been chatting to this woman online she seems really nice but I wonder if I should date her.
I am late thirties single no children etc living up north.
We get on well and she would like to meet but I'm no sure what's best.
She has four children from three different partners. None of her exes bother with her children and she often gets depressed about her predicament of being a single mother with 4 kids living on benefits.

Do you think I should meet her or should I steer clear.
I like this woman but not sure it would be a good idea to get too involved
What do you think?

Any advice would be appreciated ladies

OP posts:
Original poster
Magicman1 · 15/12/2014 19:39

I try not to Judge other people but I take everybody's points onboard

OP posts:
jackydanny · 15/12/2014 19:47

I don't think I would- 4 young children is a big commitment. However, I wouldn't use her either.

mytartanscarf · 15/12/2014 20:33

I wouldn't judge anybody but there is a world of difference between not judging someone and thinking their life and your life aren't compatible.

I want children of my own so someone with 4 of their own wouldn't be compatible with what I wanted - nothing to so with judging!

Original poster
Magicman1 · 15/12/2014 23:02

You might be right my tart there some wise people on here

OP posts:
TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 15/12/2014 23:08

Have you decided yet Magic ? If you do decide to meet her I would advise taking it slow. I would also tell her beforehand that you wouldn't be staying over.

GoodKingQuintless · 15/12/2014 23:14

"Do u people think shes after a father for her kids then or a mealticket"

Possibly yes. And that she would like a 5th child, and see you as a sperm donor, possibly she would be keen on maintenance from you. Unless you move her in and provide for her and all her children equally.

I would also think she has poor judgement.

Original poster
Magicman1 · 15/12/2014 23:16

Hi trap I have told her I want to take it slow and she fine with that but still wants me to stay over but I'm not keen

Don't know how things are going to go but if you like someone you like someone

OP posts:
GoodKingQuintless · 15/12/2014 23:18

Dont forget condoms. Vital for any new relationship, not just against pregnancies, but stds. Also, dont trust her when she says she is on the pill.

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 15/12/2014 23:18

Maybe she has a different view of taking things slow,which may be part of her baggage issue?

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 15/12/2014 23:19

And yes,agree with GoodKing there!!!

Original poster
Magicman1 · 15/12/2014 23:25

Yes she seem a very affectionate person agree with you good about condoms and others

OP posts:
Original poster
Magicman1 · 15/12/2014 23:27

If we get on well once we meet how long would you leave till getting intimate then

OP posts:
DioneTheDiabolist · 15/12/2014 23:28

I don't know if I would meet up with her because I don't know her. I have not been spending time talking to her online. To me she is a statistic for whom the future is not bright.

But to you OP? You know the actual person. You know if this someone you might love and care for and have a great relationship with.

Before you decide, perhaps you could tell this woman that you put her personal, financial and family details up to be judged on a website with a reputation of being A Nest Of Vipers.

She may decide not to bother have you come over after all and then you won't have to worry your tiny mind at all.Hmm

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 15/12/2014 23:32

That's down to you.I have my own personal thing with such things so not the best person to respond,but I would wait until you have sussed her out a bit first as it could well be that her situation is caused by early pregnancies or she may have low self esteem and want things quick to validate the attraction (possibly the reason she wants you to stay over after meeting for the first time?),or rushing things soon after as all her kids are quite young.

See how it goes with a few dates and see what you pick up.She could well be quite vulnerable

Original poster
Magicman1 · 15/12/2014 23:33

Bit harsh dione

OP posts:
Original poster
Magicman1 · 15/12/2014 23:35

Thanks trap good advice maybe I'm playing with fire then

OP posts:
Only1scoop · 15/12/2014 23:36

Personally no I wouldn't be interested in a future partner with that kind of baggage.

Windywenceslas · 15/12/2014 23:40

I think it's a bit odd that a grown man would ask when to get intimate with a woman Hmm

Maybe when it feels right?

Original poster
Magicman1 · 15/12/2014 23:43

No windy I know when to get intimate it just like to Here other people's opinions and perspectives

OP posts:
Only1scoop · 15/12/2014 23:46

I'd be very careful to be honest or you could be father number 4

WhyYouGottaBeSoRude · 15/12/2014 23:49

Christ going by this thread you'd think becoming a father was something that is done to men by other people! Like men have no control over it Hmm

Original poster
Magicman1 · 15/12/2014 23:49

How long can u be careful nothing 100 percent

OP posts:
Only1scoop · 15/12/2014 23:50

Be as careful as you can if you choose to be 'intimate'

Blimey you haven't even met her yet....go with the flow.

WhyYouGottaBeSoRude · 15/12/2014 23:51

How long can u be careful nothing 100 percent

For as long as you dont want to be a father obviously!

Original poster
Magicman1 · 15/12/2014 23:54

She seem a very passionate women I don't think she would like to wait to long to be intimate

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