My ex was a muslim and insisted on having a tree up, even when confronted with utter shite from his ill informed compatriots. He was abusive too, and regularly cited islam as a reason why he needed to treat me differently. when it suited him.
that's how they are brainwashed 'educated' in his country.
I agree this man is no more muslim than my handbag is, he is using it (bored sigh) as a method of control.
I must take issue (a bit) wiht htis from Fingeronthebutton:
I think we've lost her. She knows that everything we've said is true and doesn't want to hear it.
Sad to say but very true of abused women.
There is a slippery slope of abuse, it is insidious and gradual.
this is also true of recovery/escape.
One of the reasons why dragging an abuse victim out of a hideous relationship often results in them returning is that until they are ready for the message, and until the head has cleared a little from the terrifying and gripping fear that victims of abuse live with day in day out, they are not ready
It take on average about 2 years for an abuser to show their true selves. it takes about the same for a victim of low level Domestic Abuse to move past the realisation that this is not right and that they can and must do something about it.
Let's not write this OP off eh? this is part of a process.
she is now on the path, whether she can do anything about it now, or if she needs more time to gather the immense strength and overcome the tremendous fear, she IS more aware now than she was.
Yes she is in a situation of extreme danger. an abuser who has strangled their victim at any point of their relationship places their victim in the highest category of risk wrt being one of the statistics for those who don't survive the abuse.
What I always urge on threads like these is by all means express your dismay at the treatment they are getting, but please don't round on the victim.
For one, the victim is used to dealing with bigger and badder than anything thrown at them on here, but also the abuse they have suffered has been normalised, so our reactions of shock and consternation come as a HUGE surprise to them and they will struggle to process it all.
AnotherRandom - my love if you are still reading, please PM anyone you need to, or change names and post on the Challenging Family Christmas thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2240474-A-Challenging-Family-Christmas-Make-yourself-at-home-here?
You need handholding, support and to know that we ARE here for you and will be, whenever you need to talk.