Dry 6

[sydneysideup]

This is the thread for the alcohol free. Happy and hopeful, continuing from Dry 5 here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/a2137624-DRY-5?msgid=50943574
Whether it's been an hour, a day, a week or a year, join us here.

Good morning. I have been so remiss posting - big apologies. Had an insane weeks (again) Turned in to PTA mom of the year on Friday by walking dd's class to a local museum ( mainly because, despite living n Cambridge all my life, have never been there!) and then doing the disco in the evening. On Saturday, did a two hour stint at work and took dd to a party and hen yesterday, she had her party which involved singalonga frozen (luckily eldest dd offered to take the 9 8 year olds to that ...followed by mayhem at our house for two hours. Aren't little girls enchanting.

Have rubbish thing to do in a minute here at work which I am putting off - phoning the person who we thought we may offer a job to and telling them no - hate doing that.

littleleftie - it wasn't a relapse, it was a blip, so easy to do at the beginning and especially in a social situation. As you are so cross with yourself, you know it was a mistake, so will get through it- I have given up smoking millions of times! Which is why I'm still desperately hanging on to me two a day - just so I don't fail at stopping (does that actually make sense?!)

sydney What a stupid cow! Honestly, some people are so scared of their own drinking, they just have to belittle other people!

corn again, you are angry with yourself, which is a positive.

I have been drinking becks blue the last few nights. I know people say that non alcoholic drinks are daft, but I actually do like the taste and it hasn't made me want to drink at all, so have decided to get a few in for Xmas.

Also doing this insane 'running streak' which means I run at least a mile every day. It's exhausting but I have it in my head that I will fail if I miss a day. I've bought my running gear to work so I can fit it in a lunchtime (replacement addition anyone....??)

Right, time to do this ruddy phone call. Argh.

Have a great day all. Has anyone got any snow??

No snow here, near the shore so just freezing with sleet instead. Snow on the hills which looks rather pretty.

Wish I had your motivation Biggles. Ugh, frozen. Dd is obsessed with it at the moment. Theres barely a morning goes by that I dont wake with one of the songs running through my head. Good luck for the phonecall.

Can feel the Christmas stress starting to creep in which is not good as I used drinking as a 'destressor'. Been sitting all morning thinking about things feeling my blood pressure rising and grinding my teeth (bad habit).

Panicking a bit that ds is going to be disappointed with the amount of presents this year. Have really cut back this year as I simply can't afford it and thinking back to previous years I've went a little overboard he never played with half the things so don't see the point.

Busy weeks ahead, school plays (joy), Christmas stuff and dinners and two hospital appointments for ds to attend. Now that they've closed loads of the hospitals close by we have to travel to one further away that is a pita to get to.

I'll be glad when its all over to be honest. Bah humbug.

Thanks biggles and everyone else. I am still cross with myself but in a way it was like one last fling, putting my hand back in the fire to see if it still burned. It really did!

I am back to having weird dreams like I did in the beginning. I had one last night about huge snakes in my kitchen cupboards. I am not afraid of snakes in the least.

I read up on it and it was all about transformation and change so that has cheered me up a bit.

I also dreamt about getting it on with a work colleague

I think I am going to have to come clean about not drinking at some point. But it is weird, it's like in the Jason Vale book, which I have started reading. If you tell people you are going to stop smoking, everyone is really supportive. Nobody whispers about you saying "Oh, she must have a problemwith nicotine" .

Alcohol is a drug so widely used it is seen as antisocial and problematic not to use it.

Ah well, I shall carry on. I hope your work call went OK biggles.

I completely agree with you Leftie - I absolutely hate the fact that it feels like an admission of being a total loser to decide to stop drinking, and I have often felt the prickles of someone's disguised interest when they ask why I've decided to quit... as if they're hoping for me to disclose some terrible tale of having ended up drinking pints of wine at the breakfast table.

One of my work colleagues who stayed on after I left on Friday told me she woke up on the sofa still wearing her coat on Sat morning.

Her DH left for work disgusted and left her to get on with their rather demanding 2 year old. She said she felt awful for two whole days. It's just not worth it is it?

Dealing with a two year old and a hangover is not fun I can say leftie. Glad to hear you are so positive. I can't even admit to myself who I dreamt about the other night. Truly boke.

I have been really, really struggling the last few days. Like hanging on by the fingertips, white knuckle struggling. I honestly do feel like going fuck it. Tried everything from getting good sleep, last night I slept 10 hours which is really unlike me, all manner of nice drinks, baths, beautifying myself, books, writing and still I cant shake this restless 'you can just start again after Christmas, eveyone is drinking loads now, you're not that bad' thoughts. I think the only reason Ive hung on is because I'm a stubborn, tenacious bugger and I keep trying to remind myself of the crippling anxiety with my hangover. I'm scared of giving in but this present state of mind is wearing thin.

Broken - please hang on if you can. One of the things that stops me (so far!) going back is how shit I felt the first week or two. I can't bear to go through that again. And knowing from many people that if they do start again it's often much much worse. Being tenacious & stubborn sounds like it's keeping you going!

But it's a really really tough time of the year to be doing this. I find my mind casting around all the time for ways of just getting that woozy feeling.

I am still sleeping way more than I ever did before. It's like my body is still repairing itself.

to you. I'm off to bed ....

Thanks Haggis, Its definitely this time of year and its assiciations for me 'Put up the tree, have a drink. Wrap the presents and write the cards with a drink. Stuck in the house because of the cold weather, have a drink'. The likes of my birthday holds no fear for me as I have spent many a birthday sober so it doesn't have those associations.

Righ off to bed myself before I melt my head further

eggshells I read on a sober blog (and I can't bloody find it right now to check if I'm remembering it right) rather than saying f*ck it! - replace it with so what? It meant try to distance yourself from that hanging on by your finger tips feeling to a more zen like state. Easier said than done I know and I hope the sleep helped :)

Hi Sober Stars!

Just poking my head in from behind frighteningly huge pile of Christmas Cards I'm writing (Sober Christmas Bonus #7, you can read my handwriting even in the ones written after 9pm).

Lucy I'm afraid I have decided on the slightly un-Zen approach of replacing the 'Fuck it' feeling with a great big 'FUCK OFF!!!!!!! ' directed at the ridiculous amount of advertising, cultural normalisation and downright peer pressure of the party season. However I think I may need to internalise it a bit more effectively after a couple of people looked at me strangely in Sainsburys earlier
And don't even think about the stupid amount of alcohol in the Sunday supplements...

Broken I also think hypnosis might help, I downloaded one in the early days and used it as I was falling asleep in the first few weeks. I have absolutely no idea what it said as I always drifted off to sleep in the first 5 mins but I swear when I pass the wine aisle in my local supermarket I get a sensation of revulsion, almost like I'm going to be sick. So I think that comes from something spooky suggested to me under hypnosis. And I also tried to visualise the alcohol as a monster that was dying inside me, and getting more desperate so the cravings were its death throes. Made it all a bit more enjoyable in a way. Use that stubborn streak to fight for you rather than against.

Now I'm finding it's more I'm in a kind of danger zone where I might forget how awful it was to be drinking so Leftie stories like your friend being hungover for 2 days with a child to look after are enormously helpful so thank you for sharing that.

Thanks Lucy unfortunately sleep and a sick dd do not go hand in hand.

I love the mental image I have of you screaming at the booze in the supermarket Sydney . Not sure hypnosis would work for me, tried it for stopping smoking and sniggered the whole way through it every time I put it on and still smoked. Do you remember which one it was, may be worth a shot anyway? Thats a great idea of visualising it as a monster. Very helpful, thanks

Hi everyone,

sydney I am trying to retrain my brain also when it comes to alcohol......consciously thinking of it as 'poison' (which of course it is). The supermarket wine aisle I go past thinking [with a cheesy 70's horror film voiceover ] 'The Aisle of DEATH'. Okay it makes me giggle, but it helps.

broken I know so well how you are feeling- the buildup of tension, of climbing the walls. I do not know if this will help you, but sometimes when I am obsessing over something (which I do alot, as I have alot of anxiety) I 'give myself time off' from thinking about it, whatever it is. I tell myself firmly that I will not think about it until 7 pm and then I will consider it. That has helped me alot.... on the occasions when I do it, I mean. (I am pretty good at self sabotage!)

I also find if I am getting really itchy in my skin that reading the sober blogs can help. One I read today where a woman has revealed a bit more about her drinking past..... she was a professional, and she lost her job because of alcohol, and recently she got drunk and drove to a family member's house and basically tore it apart. She has a conviction as a result. I find her bravery in writing so inspiring, and she writes very honestly and movingly about the affects on family etc. It reminds me, when I am tempted (which is alot right now) that for me at least drinking is not harmless. Drinking is a real problem and there but for the grace of god, really.

Her blog is;
mrsstryingtobesober.blogspot.co.uk/2014/12/yes-i-am-alive-thursday-11-december-2014.html

That really affected me this morning.

Otherwise all is generally okay except that we are a House of Plague. Bad colds, my poor 4 year old has a coldsore and an ear infection and I have conjunctivitis. I had to go to the GP yesterday for unrelated matters- prescription renewa-l and she took one look at my red and puffy eyes and exclaimed 'Oh, have you got the hangover from hell??!!'. It was quite funny when I could honestly say 'No!'.

Hope everyone has a great day. broken I hope you can schedule in a mega treat today.

I tried some Schloer light today (on offer in Tezzers)

It's only 22 calories a glass and tastes like the sort of Martini and lemonade your mum used to make when you were 14 or maybe that was just my mum

Isn't it funny I also notice all the alcoholic drink adverts now, and the way it's referred to all the time in the media.

Leftie that's what my mum used to give us kids at New Years etc! Says a lot possibly....

Corn I will be playing that voice in my head now too! great idea!

Broken the hypnosis download is Rachel Meaddows 'Control your Cravings for Alcohol' I got it on Amazon. Absolutely no idea what she says after 5 mins but it goes for just under 2 hours in total so who knows ......!

How's everyone doing?

Yes it's exactly that feeling Corn. I think that's what I have subconsciously done today as I got stuck into all the little horrible jobs that I've been putting off for ages like cleaning out the oven, washing machine and the filters of the tumble dryer (yes its a funfair of wild excitement at my house) so I didn't have to think about it until later. Cut back on the caffeine intake today too which I believe has helped. Hope you all recover soon, sounds exactly like our house last week. Ds had conjunctivitus and you would have thought I was trying to scoop his eye out with a rusty spoon every time I went to put the eye drops in. Love when that feeling when you can tell the doctor honestly you have not been drinking

Nope my parents too leftie. Dm had this theory that if they introduced us to booze earlier and bought it for us so we could drink supervised we'd be less likely to develop a problem as it wasn't a big thing then. That worked didn't it

Meeting dp tomorrow night and was thinking to myself earlier I can't be bothered, have had a hard week with the dc being sick, running about and want to chill out. Then kind of figured out that I don't think is anything to do with that as I'll have all Saturday to myself anyway and we'll just be vegging with a DVD and junk food. Its that little crafty, addictive voice in my head clearing the path for me. Hes one of the few that knows I've stopped drinking alcohol and the vague reason why so if he wasn't there and the dc are away I'd have the opportunity to get drunk. I knew the real reason deep down and its sad how devious my thought pattern can be. I won't anyway. Nice try alcohol but you lose

Oh cheers sydney, Ill go have a look at that now

Morning all!

Shameless plug for Lucy's blog..... really interesting (but with a kinda creepy narrator) documentary she posted today. I got 9 minutes in and had to stop as need to start the day but am saving it for later.... it aims to change thoughts around alcohol. Lucy explains it better....

It's very powerful...... I think I will save it to favourites for when I think 'just one can't hurt'.

Hope everyone has the most brilliant sober, and HAPPY day!

ahangoverfreelife.com/2014/12/12/booze-aversion-therapy/

Really interesting video thanks Lucy for posting on your blog and Corn for linking on here.

Love the idea of imagining someone offering you 'just the one' of ammonia or bleach.

Strange I was thinking last night what is mentioned in the video about it impairing your peak function. I've known three alcoholics in my life, all men, that stopping in their early twenties. Since then one has completed a PhD in a science, one is a bit of local celebrity because of media workwork does a lot of charity work etc and one runs ultra marathons. Not that I'm saying we're all going to go out and climb Everest or become multi millionaires but there's definitely something in sobriety that makes you go for your goals.

50 days!!

Have a good day ladies, we are really doing something great

50 days!!!!! Congrats broken!

I agree also about impairing your peak function. I find myself considering further education where as a year ago I simply would not have had the energy.

Another blogger (I am afraid I cannot recall who) posted this poem which I have printed out and put in my diary;

There was once an old sailor my grandfather knew
Who had so many things which he wanted to do
That, whenever he thought it was time to begin,
He couldn’t because of the state he was in. A.AMilne

For me it is true. I used to have alot of ambition and gumption. All that steadily seeped out. One of the sayings on the Brave Babes thread is 'Alcohol fosters inertia' That really speaks to me.

We ARE doing something great. Among other things we are staring a cultural norm in the face and questioning it.

:)

Morning all. Not sure I've checked in since my book club evening on Tuesday. Found it REALLY hard, not so much in the sense of specifically wanting to have a drink, but just felt... disconnected. I sat there thinking that so much of my supposed opinionated/forthright personality was propelled entirely by booze; therefore without it I just didn't join in much with the conversation. When people countered opinions of mine I just felt sort of flummoxed and unable to come back - whereas before I think I would have (probably a bit rudely) charged ahead, full of that bravado that wine gives you me, that belief that What I Have To Say Is Very Important Indeed.

Ah well. Also have a big party weekend this weekend - for my DTs birthday that is. Just had supermarket delivery and am sat here staring at a bottle of sauv blanc I've got in for my SIL, as my family are coming back here for lunch after the kids party in the morning. Doesn't bother me it sitting here, but was quite odd shopping for it online - deliberately bought one which didn't have a 5 star customer rating, just for good measure

140 days today. Will be 5 months exactly on Christmas Day.

Big cross post there :)

Love that AA Milne poem Corn. And hear you both re. impairing your peak. It's a difficult one isn't it, because when I'm feeling very very positive I feel like I could conquer the world, but then again I have to deal with the reality that although I've stopped drinking and that is brilliant, my life hasn't instantly become perfect and that That's Okay Too. :)

Morning all!
Congrats eggshells on 50 days and teapot on almost 5 months. What a great Christmas present to yourself
Corn thanks for the plug and I hope it helps! He has got a creepy voice hasn't he?
Sydney F*ck off works just as well
I've decided food is my new sober reward having gone for lunch at The Hinds Head at Bray yesterday. Big sober treat for me as love Heston and the meal was divine including a lovely elderflower based mocktail. If one weeks not drinking buys me that instead then happy days. Chewing nails to the quick awaiting news about job today .......

That's exactly the saying from Brave Babes I thought of too Corn. Love that poem.

Fantastic 140 days Teapot. I'll be exactly 2 months on Christmas Day and glad that its an extra motivation to get me through the day. Hope your DTS have a fabulous day for their birthday and its special for you too.

That sounds like a great treat Lucy, very jealous. Best of luck for your job news!!

Finally got round to trying the Belvoir mulled drink. Tiny bit sweet for me so think I'll dilute it next time. Sitting in the bottom of the fridge and every morning I open it up and catch a glimpse of the neck I get a 'what's that booze doing there' thought before I realise

That's me checking out for the weekend, loads to do. Have a great weekend everyone!

Congrats on your 2 months on Christmas Day too eggshells!! I really like that saying from the Brave Babes too - it's gone in my sober motivator notebook!
It was yummy and am now drinking peppermint tea and trying to think Zen thoughts - ha!

Morning all!

What plans for the weekend? We have housecleaning today (and watching Frozen for the eleventy millionth time), a vegie roast dinner, lots of ginger cordial and lemonade and a dog walk planned. I am hoping to persuade DH to go to a Christmas fair tomorrow, and I am avoiding church. All good!