How long did it take you to get over a serious infatuation?

[muntermonster]

Have avoided becoming involved with someone totally unsuitable (friend and colleague) by refusing to see him, asking him not to contact me, unfriending him on FB, etc. Nothing ever happened between us except realising we really like each other. It's been nearly 3 weeks since going no contact and I still think of him every waking moment. How long does it take for this daft sort of infatuation to subside? Writing this I realise it hasn't been that long, but seems like months rather than weeks. Feel like a dumb teen.

im not sure what you are talking about now brokenhearted? hes not just a fuck then? as he sees you? thats what FWBs are for most blokes? unless you see him as the same then ok.

FWB's are Just that. someone you speak to as a mate and fuck their brains out... I go with that, what i dont go with is someone that thinks its more.

brokenhearted55a - I'm a bit confused - what is it he's not doing? Is he in a relationship with someone else? Is he dating other women? Is he married?

Tinks42 - since I'm chipping in here - are you opposed to all infatuation? Surely before people change partners, it can start off with the conflict of being with one partner and wanting another. In the case of the OP, she is trying to get over 'infatuation' with a married man who seems to be attracted to her. I don't think that's a self-esteem issue.

Broken - it looks to me like he is your boyfriend..... but he doesn't seem to want to admit it. What would happen if you tell him you have found a boyfriend who adores you?

Ok I don't think you have self-esteem issues I just think he's OK the way things are and you're not, but you are not expecting it to get any better so you're just going along with it as it is. He isn't going to change while you are going along like this. So - either you put up with it or you start dating new people. Can you believe that there is someone else out there who will want to be with you all the time?

I think you have massive self esteem issues. you allow him to use you.. and use you he will...

Think better of yourself
Dump him

Oh ffs tinks chill out! It is possible to have a discussion about infatuation without getting your knickers in a twist. You're putting a whole different spin on this thread and it's not necessary.

err, are we in chat now?

this is posted in "relationships" which is serious shit... if you think that letting a bloke walk all over you is fine... then ok.

I don't think 'letting a bloke walk all over you' is fine but that's not what the thread is about really. The thread is about infatuation and how long it takes to get over it.

I agree brokenhearted55a. Someone just wants a row tonight!

Im walking all over women? im browbeating? and being contemptuous? wake up!

i take nothing serious other than other women thinking men have some sort of power to infatuate... errr

really?

maybe your best friend is seeing it as it really is?

maybe you could rethink your username then? maybe you could write in a more positive way?

Broken, that's sad that you are used to feeling that you are being treated like an option.

Infatuation seems to come from nowhere. You can't make yourself fancy a particular person and similarly it is just as difficult to make yourself 'not' fancy someone. It is pretty much all down to chemistry which is why some people develop an infatuation with someone they wouldn't choose to have as a partner. There is no choice with it, it just happens! It's got nothing to do with women bowing down to manipulation, pressure...etc from men that is something different altogether.

Tinks, men have infatuations too you know. I guess women also have the power then.