Change yr name, make a confession!

[iamsomeoneelse]

A thread to get something deep and dark off your chest -- anonymously!

If you don't know how to change your name, go to the 'My Mumsnet' tab and go into the 'My Account' section, there you can enter any name you like. Then, just enter your usual password and click 'Save Changes' et voila! Instant new identity!

I'll get the ball rolling:

I really feel that there are some deep cracks forming in my marriage, and I have a horrible feeling that divorce may be on the horizon after 10+ years of marriage. Part of me is terrified by the effect this might have on my two DDs, but another part of me is quietly excited at the prospect of a new and different kind of relationship.

Blueberry, I had not. I worry that the more I talk about it, the more these feelings are validated or perhaps even increase in intensity.

I need to squash these feelings. Am sure they will pass. They better do.
Am hoping it is just a phase, a slight foray into midlife crisis territory....

Buzzard and fox

I have little blisters all along my tongue caused by my DP punching me on the chin last week. He brought me flowers today to show he is still 'sorry'. I'm pretending everything is normal and really I'm secretly researching mortgages and trying to work out how to leave.

As an added complication there is a teeny tiny chance I might be pregnant. I'd convinced myself I couldn't be but then met my friend last week and one of the first things she asked was if I was pregnant. Luckily DP is not that observant. I'm too scared to take a test as I know I'd feel the need to tell him and that I'd be even less likely to leave.

I'm male, happily married 15 years with 2 kids but fantasise about sucking cock!
Never considered this before being married.
I am on a few gay hook up sites although I only look at pictures and profiles and fantasise.
Occasionally guys message me and I so want to do it but don't.
Of course if wife saw that I was on these sites she would never believe that.
The urge is very strong and very frustrating and I wonder where it's come from, I don't fancy men as such, only their cocks.

Gross stuff, but no surprise to ridiculous question.

Remember, nothing is truly anonymous on the internet. Its not private, not at all. 1984 and all that is here already.

Don't feed the beast.

Darkesteyes a while back on another thread I sent my regards to your DH. Tell him I want them back.

Toby when i was much younger (in my 20s) i assumed and i was told that all men go off sex/affection when they get older.

Complete bullshit.... there are many men in their 50s 60s + who are still enjoying intimate relationships with their partners.

Dh is ill now but its hard to attribute it all to his illness as he stopped wanting me in that way years before he got ill.

Glad you are feeling a little better Darkest. My DH was only mid 40's when he went off it...or me to be more honest.

Same here Untouchable (i hate calling you by that username)

Mine was 46.

Untouchable its not you. It really isnt

test, nf apologies

OK, I am married (no DC) to a man who is a perfect match for me, and I know it: just what I need, intellectually and emotionally, and often sexually. He is great - no, we're great - when we go at it. But in 17 years, he's not always been there on the cock front, and at other times including one crucial time he was pretty sour and cruel. I have a very flaky understanding with a man whom I "love" (care about, want the best for) and fancy (cannot describe what it is when we fuck but it's otherworldly). I see him 2-3 times a year. I won't try to justify it in this post.

Darkesteyes/ Untouchable It's neither of you. It's them.

Ohforfuckssakejustgivemeaname -- love the name, b.t.w.

Not changing my name because I hardly post anyway. My confession has probably been covered in this thread but I really fantasize about being with a girl, I have the odd threesome fantasy too but if I was younger and single I think if I was drunk enough I would go for it. When having sex with my husband and he is licking me all I can think about is a girl I used to work with, anyway that's it.

For about 10 years I belonged to The Barbara Club. Mr Charm and Affection in Public but at home None At All.

He left me last year and I thought my world had ended. Not to be new agey as I am not but my new world began. I had sex about 8 months after H left, with a man who had always been doe-eyed about me. It was lovely but still left me cold.

I've now met a man who is just great and I am happy with most of our relationship... it's just he has ED.

I spent years with a man who really didn't want me and showed it to me. Now this man wants me but can't. I feel a complete twat but I am reconsidering this relationship. I won't and can't live like that again. Just turned 46 and want PIV sex. That's it, I want PIV sex. And even though I would like to say I am not ashamed of saying that, I am.

Alchemist There is no shame in saying you want that I tried PIV sex recently but where i havent had it for so long it hurt. The bloke was lovely about it and said it didnt matter and stopped straight away and we did ....other things.

Alcemist please dont feel you are being a twat. You are NOT!

Have you told your current partner anything about your past relationship? As he has those problems he could be thinking "well she put up with it once so if i keep my fingers crossed she might put up with it again" i realise i could be wrong. Its just a thought that crossed my mind as i was reading your post.

Oh Alchemist, that really sucks. Has he been to the GP though? Maybe in his case it could be helped?

You shouldn't feel bad for not wanting to waste another 10 years of your life
without PIV. Is he affectionate?

Sometimes I walk around town and I just fancy pretty much everyone.

My ex dotes on what he thinks is his son.

I'm 50/50 about if it's actually his......

I have been with my partner for 18 years and I love him. I was always a nice catholic girl, deeply inhibited and shy. People think I am stand offish and that I dislike to be touched and its true I avoid that but mainly because pretty much any touch can turn me on, its too intense for me and it embaresses me. I have a huge sex drive and I love men with a passion short ones, tall ones, old ones young ones. I'd do them all if I could. Especially the ones I really like my friends and I have quite a few male friends and I'm in lust with them all, they would all be shocked to know it I am sure as I keep a very tight lid on it. I just always want to get inside the people I like that much to posess them although I have never acted on it. I think I might be some kind of nymphomaniac. My partner does a good job of satisfying me and I am always thrilled to think I have a man who I can look at and touch and have sex with and nobody will call the police on me! But if I could I would have sex with lots of me I am sure but I don't because I know the fall out would be awful but it doesn't stop me wanting to all the time.

I don't drink at all because if I ever did it would be like putting a match to a powder keg.

I hate being pregnant. I wish I'd never conceived and just want it to go away. I feel such extreme guilt about this but I just never expected the hell that is Hyperemesis. I cry with misery every day. In between the 30-odd vomiting sessions that come every 20-30 minutes.

My DP is so excited. He's hoping for a boy, while I'm hoping for a miscarriage. My heart breaks just typing this. I feel so alone :(

George im so sorry. Please please phone a GP surgery in the morning. Dont suffer in silence. Is your DP helping and supporting you?

I also think DP may be secretly drinking again because of the pressure he's under. He works 40 hours, his days off are spent at college, or taking care of me and DSD or catching up on the mammoth housework that I am too sick to do. He is struggling to cope with such a heavy load and I think he's turned back to the booze. I cant leave him, I need the care he gives as I'm completely debilitated by the Hyperemesis. I can't admit to my family that I think he might be drinking again.

I feel like this baby is ruining my life

I am so sorry for you George, hyperemisis is really awful.
Actually before we had transfusions and the ability to rehydrate the body that way, women died of the condition (one in 1000 have hyperemisis when pregnant: it's an allergy to the hormone of pregnancy)
I feel so sad for how stuck you must feel right now. it gets better usually by the 6th month, I hope it will ease up soon for you. Please ask support from your GP
Sending you my best wishes x