It's my wedding night. I'm all alone.

[IsThisReallyHappening]

Today I got married.

This afternoon we arrived at our hotel to stay the night.

On arrival I checked my facebook to see some congratulation messages.

One message was not quite what I was expecting.

My 'husband' cheated on me 8 weeks ago.

I'm now sat here alone. On my wedding night. My 'husband' is gone.

I'm pregnant too.

I already have a child with him.

What the actual fuck has just happened to my life?

I feel trapped.

Best of luck, Detective - you can do this, lovely

I get the feeling that telling your parents seems to be one of the worst bits and it will be over soon.

Good luck Det! Remember none of this is your doing, all his. You've nothing to be ashamed of or feel bad about and we're all here for you

He sounds utterly weak and immature. You've already said it's your house that you had before he arrived on the scene. So you were the one who took on a mortgage and you are the one with a professional career and the main wage earner. I am guessing that he works part time due to his wages. Sounds like he hit the jackpot with you and you've been carrying him for far too long. Time for him to grow up and face up to what he has done. And time for you to stop carrying him now. Do not feel shame or embarrassment for something that he has done. Tell people as it will be very therapeutic for you and help you to move on.

He might think that he loves you but he doesn't care about you. If he cared he wouldn't have done any of this to you. There needs to be caring and respect in a relationship aswell as love. I know your self esteem is probably low but he is the one who has done this to you. Expect the best and accept only the best in a relationship because that is what you deserve. You deserve an equal caring loving man not a leech.

Just keep remembering that YOU are a victim in all of this. He is a 'starts with a d, rhymes with ick'. I do hope you told DS that he could call him that, just the once. Frankly, Id've told my son he could call him a 'starts with f, rhymes with truck bed'!!

He's not answering his phone because he is too much of a coward to face you and own up to what he's done. Let him wallow in his cowardice. Really, what could he possibly say that would make any difference or make you feel one iota better. 'Sorry' isn't going to cut it, is it?

I hope you've called your folks. It's hard to tell our parents things, but they are usually such a source of comfort and strength. Just as you would be if your child came to you.

Tell, tell, tell!! There is no reason to shield him from anything and you need support. Then pack his shit up and throw it on the front porch.

As far as more things 'coming to light', remember that you don't have to hear that right now. It's common in these situations that friends or others come to you and say "Well, I didn't know how to tell you this but……" or "I always thought he was a jerk because……". It just makes you feel worse. Trust me, I know that from experience!! It's OK for you to say "I don't want to hear it, I'm dealing with enough right now". It's not like you need more 'evidence' to prove he's a prick. You've got enough!

Try to take a little time each day to relax and 'center yourself'. Take things a little bit as a time. Baby steps, not giant leaps.

Good luck Det, you know where we are if you need us, day or night.
Once you start telling people, I am sure things will not be as bad as you imagine. And nice once, E - shame he picked such a mild word eh! xxxx

I am so sorry and have no wise words, everyone else has already said them.

for your DS.
for you.

Take care.

Don't be pushed into something you don't want to do by fear, lack of knowledge or your ex. YOU are in total charge of your life.

Just checking in a absolutely agree with the sentiments in Fab's post.

Take care and hope that today has been a little bit better for you

Here for you too det, waving the Pom poms and Virtually holding your hand and giving you a hug. I can't give you any more advice than there has been, and there Are some great women on This thread.

smiles I think you might just be my hero.

Just letting you know we are all here with you while you think about what you are going to do and get your head straight.

How are you today?

Morning OP,

Day 4 already. Gone quick hasn't it? Hopefully you'll be nursing the hangover from hell if your friend did her job properly.

You'll still be feeling numb for a few days yet but that headache will start to be getting worse so look after yourself ok?

Look at what you have acheived so far...you've done loads even if most of it was on autopilot...

How are you feeling at the moment? How are the boys?

Don't do anything today. Don't think, don't move, just be. Make a nest on that sofa and just sit and be as much as you can. Tonight calls for...a movie night with the boys.

DVD
Hotdogs and chips (go to the shop to get everything and get a blast of fresh air, I know you don't want to but do it. You'll feel better)
popcorn
crisps
coke
Cuddle

Have a nice easy, lazy, numb day today. Don't feel guilty about the kids, you'll more than make it up to them at a later date (I did)

How are you today? Take things minute by minute and gather your strength.

xx

Just briefly, you are in a vile situation thanks to a vile excuse for a man. At the moment you feel humiliated, desperate, devastated but despite this you tell us your heart desperately wants this baby. Don't let him destroy your baby as well as everything else.
If you are a hundred percent certain you want a termination then book it asap but I am worried that there would be a huge aditional emotional impact if you did that

Big hugs det xxx

Wow, have read the whole thing.

to you.

How about asking your lovely MIL to pick up the phone and call people to tell them what has happened, on your behalf?
Would she be up for that?

Or do you have a friend, maybe one of your bridesmaids, who would call around and just tell people what you want them to know?

Whoever makes your calls, you could ask them to ask people not to call you to gab about it because you are really shaken.

There is no point at all in trying to call him or talk with him.

What he is doing at the moment is punishing you for taking yourself seriously, and there will be more where that came from unless you are willing to turn yourself into a human doormat and let him walk all over you for ever more, and wipe his cruddy shoes on you on the way.

How are you doing today? Have you managed to get some rl support?

Did you speak to your GP? You have such difficult decisions to make.

Big hugs.

Just delurking to offer some support.
I hope you are ok and managing to get some sleep and to eat.
I hope things went well with your GP. It's a horrendous situation to be making such big decisions in. Whatever you decide, I'm sure there will be plenty support here. It must feel like an impossible situation, wading through treacle right now, with no easy answers or good solutions.

Take care of yourself and your children. Much respect to your very insightful 12 year old - clearly his mother's son

Just popping in to say that I hope things are feeling a bit clearer. There's lots of support for you on here, whatever you decide.

Hope you're ok Detective and your silence is just because you're too busy getting on with stuff. Thinking of you. X

He continues to read this - I can't post right now.

((Det)) can't believe he'd invade your space like this.

Understood. Are you able to read DMs?

Hey, whatever the fuck your screen name was. You are an unmitigated prick! Not only have you broken the heart of a woman who loved and trusted you, now you are taking away a real source of comfort and strength for her. Can't you let her have one fucking thing? Do you really have to take everything from her?

In your bullshit posts you wankered on about how sorry you were, how you wanted to make it up, blah blah yakkety schmakkety!!! This just proves even more that you are not even worthy to wipe her shoes.

You disgust me. And you disgust my DH even more!

Dectective, you take care of yourself. You are worthy of love. YOU are lovely!

I don't blame you for not posting here right now.

You have your right to privacy and he has no repsect for that.

Wishing you all the best what ever decisions you make and hope you have plenty of RL support around you x

jesus - every time you think the "man" couldn't be more of a prick.......

Very sorry to hear that but think you are doing the right thing not posting ATM

Right then.

Pm'd you