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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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It's my wedding night. I'm all alone.

479 replies

IsThisReallyHappening · 04/11/2014 21:03

Today I got married.

This afternoon we arrived at our hotel to stay the night.

On arrival I checked my facebook to see some congratulation messages.

One message was not quite what I was expecting.

My 'husband' cheated on me 8 weeks ago.

I'm now sat here alone. On my wedding night. My 'husband' is gone.

I'm pregnant too.

I already have a child with him.

What the actual fuck has just happened to my life?

I feel trapped.

OP posts:
WellWhoKnew · 06/11/2014 01:31

Hello love,

Fellow "Troll" here who is having an unbelievable time of it (Sudden Abandonment). Can I just say, that as humiliated as you might feel right now [I get that], experience is teaching me, that actually the shame is all theirs.

It took me weeks to tell people what had happened. I truly regret that now because I suffered those weeks by the minute. As soon as I started telling people (in RL) not just on MN, I got so much amazing support - practical and emotional.

I am six months down the line. Just today, someone walked up to me and said 'oh, I saw you getting into your car, so you're the woman whose husband has done a bunk. I want you to know, that I live there, come for a cuppa, and let us know if there's anything we can do to help.'

I live in a very small community. When he left I knew, by name, ten people locally. Now, I know nigh on a hundred.

That's a lot of cups of tea!

Six months ago, I hated being the village scandal. These days, it's being part of the village that is ensuring I get through the tough days. And yes, most of them have been incredibly practical and helpful. Sometimes just being given a cheery hello has brightened what is otherwise a difficult day (attritional divorce)

He chose this. Not you. Please leave him to do the humiliation. Please just talk to people. You have no idea that actually, whilst it IS a scandal, people are generally kind, supportive and helpful. His behaviour is distasteful to all of us.

'Us' being anyone with a sense of morals.

wickedlazy · 06/11/2014 01:58

What smilesandpiles said!

hannahp1402 · 06/11/2014 10:46

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ChippingInAutumnLover · 06/11/2014 11:17

Then stop farting Hannah.

TheDetective · 06/11/2014 13:00

I'm drowning in anger and hatred.

I'm so lost.

I can't find my way through this utter mess.

How does anyone ever deserve this?

TheDetective · 06/11/2014 13:01

It's me, the OP for those who don't already know.

No point in name changing when everyone knows who you are.

LuisCarol · 06/11/2014 13:03

No one deserves this. Least of all you.

VintageCherry26 · 06/11/2014 13:06

Nobody deserves this detective, ever. Have you got support from RL friends and family yet? X

PetiteRaleuse · 06/11/2014 13:11

What luis says lovely. You absolutely don't deserve this x

elQuintoConyo · 06/11/2014 13:12

Hi TheDetective

Have you told anyone in RL yet? Are you still sharing the house? Have you looked into anything practical yet?

I hope you have someone to look after you and hold your hand. MN is one thing, a cup of tea and a hug another.

Thanks from afar x

BastardGoDarkly · 06/11/2014 13:16

Oh love, it's still so raw.

I really hope you've got some rl support, and maybe get twathead it if the house? It must be just awful seeing him all the time.

TheDetective · 06/11/2014 13:17

He's still here. Wasting space in my life.

I feel trapped until I've done something about this baby.

I can't tell anyone.

Why? I don't know.

My dad called me last night. And I had to sit and talk to him like nothing was wrong. I had to talk about my wedding day. He was angry with me for not telling him I was getting married.

So then I got pissed off with my dad because it wasn't his right to be at my wedding.

Then I'm angry because I'm dealing with shit from my dad while trying to pretend my 'husband' isn't a grade A cunt.

This couldn't get much worse right now.

PetiteRaleuse · 06/11/2014 13:18

You don't need to keep this secret. You can choose to say nothing about the baby, but you need support now.

TheDetective · 06/11/2014 13:19

I feel like I literally can't deal with it until I deal with that problem... It's like I'm unable to process the rest.

TheDetective · 06/11/2014 13:21

All I want is someone to hold me and comfort me, and let me cry and scream and get it all out.

But I'm paralysed by fear and shame. And anger.

Zamboni · 06/11/2014 13:22

Det you know you can tell people whenever you want. Or if you can't, could a friend do it for you?

Can you escape somewhere to get away from him for a few days and ask him to go before you get back?

Zamboni · 06/11/2014 13:25

It's ok to be angry. And it is also ok to be scared but you are strong and brave and you will survive it.

You do not need to be ashamed. This is not your doing.

Flowers
PetiteRaleuse · 06/11/2014 13:28

zamboni is right, as ever. You do not need to feel shame. At all.

TheDetective · 06/11/2014 13:29

I can't escape from what I need to escape from - me. I don't want to be me.

I don't want to feel this.

I need it to all go. But it doesn't. It won't. And I don't want to fucking do it!!! I don't want to fucking feel this shit!

StuntNun · 06/11/2014 13:30

Detective please try and ignore your dad's comments it's not like he's there for you when you need him. You don't have to decide anything about the baby right away, it's still early days. I think you have it backwards, you need to decide what to do about your OH before you think about the baby. People do continue relationships when there has been infidelity but there have been other issues as well. Maybe you could start a thread somewhere less public than MN as I'm sure there are people that can give you advice and help you work through your thoughts. Personally for me cheating would mean the end of our relationship, he's already had his second chance on that front. But only you can decide what's right for you and your relationship, but not while you're so upset you can't think straight.

TheDetective · 06/11/2014 13:32

Why does he get to do this? And then gets to take my child/ren off me?!

How is that fucking fair!!!!

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 06/11/2014 13:33

Really feel for you.

I'm worried that by living a lie like this, you're going to have some awful delayed grief reaction

If you can't speak to people yet, can you pretend his mum is ill and he needs to go and stay with her to look after her.

You really need some space to try and process what has happened and what to do about the baby. I can't believe he actually has the gall to stay in the house, tbh

GarlicNovember · 06/11/2014 13:40

How does he get to take your children???

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 06/11/2014 13:40

Actually - if you can't speak to anyone in real life, could you speak to your GP. Maybe make a double appointment?

I think you almost need to speak it out loud to make it real, iyswim.

The GP might be a good start as obviously it's all confidential and they should not be judgemental.

Zamboni · 06/11/2014 13:41

You don't need to escape from you. You are lovely and strong and not the problem. This has happened TO you. You didn't make it happen and you are not to blame.

You can't, unfortunately, instantly escape the feelings. That you do have to live and it will be shit to start off with. But you will be ok. You will, even if you don't feel like it. And do will the DC.

And he won't get off lightly - his loss is far, far greater than yours.

As for the DC etc- get good legal advice urgently.