I'm the OW and it's killing me

[ashatteredheart]

I need help. I am so unhappy.

This summer I left my DH of many years standing. We have children together. I got involved with a man on-line who promised me the Earth.. but when I begged for help one night, he ran away and refused to either help or even get in touch. End of relationship. All the more poignant because he knew I had abandonment issues.. yet that is precisely what he did.

But there was someone who helped me. A MM. I know it's not great. I know what I did was wrong. I needed someone and he was there. My self-esteem has been missing for very very many years now due to at times, an emotionally abusive marriage and a horrible family background. This doesn't excuse what I have done.. at times I know I am not thinking straight.

But I can't handle it, it's destroying me. I'm wracked with guilt for his family but I am now in love. Apart from the obvious, he is a lovely man who will not leave his DW because of their children. He gives me the care and attention that I have been craving for half my life. I'm finding it very very difficult to give up. I do't want t let him go..and I have tried several times.

I know there will be some on here who will judge me. And I deserve that. But there is no one who is judging me harsher than myself. Thanks for reading.

Me? I haven't been on since about 5.30. but your attack on Nicki for calling you on your own behaviour brought me back.

You'd think I'd have learned by now. I've never seen anyone call another Poster off thread tho

Yes, just noticed that. Where shall we go?

Fwiw Nicky captain and everyone else, so far as I can see it's been OP trying to pick a fight all night. I've never seen either of you be deliberately nasty on this thread the way the OP has

Me neither captain. This is a massive over reaction.

We have been deleted Captain. I know I didn't report anything. I suppose you did OP. Wise move, you've made a complete show of yourself on this thread.

I doubt this is a regular poster - I think I'd recognise that posting style.

See you down the pub, nicki?

Mines a vodka, lime and soda

Evening all. Can I just remind everyone of our guidelines - 'specially the bit about personal attacks and troll hunting

Some really good advice on this thread, and loathe to delete it, but will have to reach for the Big Red Button if it descends into a bunfight.

Remember
xxx Peace and Love xxx

Gosh, you're actually not a very nice person are you?

People on here have offered you advice, some of it you haven't wanted to hear but they don't deserve to be sworn at or be told to take an argument off thread.

Stay your ways, I have a feeling you will anyway.

I have not personally attacked or troll hunted. I have responded to personal attacks.

Oh Nicki - so's mine!

Never been even looked at by Mn towers before. In about 10years on MN.

Something to celebrate?

Champagne for everyone! not you OP

I can't imagine why you posted here? Nobody is going to give you sympathy for an affair with a married man. All you can do is dump him and find your self esteem in another way. By being incredibly defensive and quite frankly rude to posters you really are not doing any favours to yourself at all. What did you expect folk to say here?

Yep that reminds me - there is RL drinking to be done!

Will catch up with this thread tomorrow, after the hangover and Full English Brekkie!

Why thankyou Nicki! Cheers!

captainmummy (hello lovely ) are you also captainofthemummies?

I agree with loveka on p5. Well put.

Some people get a self righteous buzz from kicking somebody who is in pain. It is disgusting. Pain is pain. If this man is such a liar and a cheater and a user then why is there always Such blind & blanket empathy for his wife. Maybe his wife would be well shot of him. There is no moral high ground in making somebody who is in pain confront their FAULTS . That comes later.

I left an abusive man who had cheated on me. It was hard to make that big step but as a kinder pp said, u dont end it because of your strenght, u gain strength from surviving the aftermath. So true. Be brave Shattered heart.

Hi Handful - yes I am, for halloween! Whatdya think? Not so incognito

I like yours, btw!

"I have only asked for help to get out of my situation"

There's a lot of that on thi thread, but you don't seem to be engaging with it.

Now as it's Friday, and you've got a long weekend ahead of you whilst he's playing with his DC and having sex with his DW.

What can you think of to fill those hours (and I don't mean posting about him here)? Identifying that is a step to getting out. Then dump him and do more do more of those things.

Nickyfury, i did not report u, but this thread has hardly been your finest hour. [Hmm]

Hello captain! I'm Cotton - I too am in disguise for Hallowe'en

I promise you this, if you are unhappy now, if you were unhappy before, you will have unhappiness and pain that you will NOT know how to deal with if YOU let this continue.

Believe me. Stop contact. from exp here

Are you a member of the "It's fine to shag other women's husbands" crew as well Klokk?

Seeing as it's only you and OP who have an issue with my contributions on this thread I'm going to keep feeling pretty good about them .