I'm the OW and it's killing me

[ashatteredheart]

I need help. I am so unhappy.

This summer I left my DH of many years standing. We have children together. I got involved with a man on-line who promised me the Earth.. but when I begged for help one night, he ran away and refused to either help or even get in touch. End of relationship. All the more poignant because he knew I had abandonment issues.. yet that is precisely what he did.

But there was someone who helped me. A MM. I know it's not great. I know what I did was wrong. I needed someone and he was there. My self-esteem has been missing for very very many years now due to at times, an emotionally abusive marriage and a horrible family background. This doesn't excuse what I have done.. at times I know I am not thinking straight.

But I can't handle it, it's destroying me. I'm wracked with guilt for his family but I am now in love. Apart from the obvious, he is a lovely man who will not leave his DW because of their children. He gives me the care and attention that I have been craving for half my life. I'm finding it very very difficult to give up. I do't want t let him go..and I have tried several times.

I know there will be some on here who will judge me. And I deserve that. But there is no one who is judging me harsher than myself. Thanks for reading.

Oh stop talking crap! I'm not hiding anywhere. There's plenty on here who know me in RL. You're ridiculous OP, you really are. And my guess is you'll use all this "upset" to continue with your MM because you can't possibly end it now when you've endured such meanness. You'll be needing his support now more than ever I imagine.

hide under the cover of the internet

No... post on the internet, as is the norm on the internet.

YOU name changed, you are the one hiding.

What Chilling said, very true. Nobody knows who you are, heart, just stop posting and the thread will stop as there's no response from you. That's what you need to do if you want it to stop now.

I'm not going to cast doubt over your MH issues; you say you have them, I know no different.

OK folks. As we've got to a 'Oi, you - outside, naaaah' situation, we think it best to delete this thread. Never had a bunfight that threatened to spill out onto the streets before ...

Thanks to all the lovely MNers who have shared their experiences and posted their advice .

Some people handed it to OP on a plate then, didn't they?

Bad form with the name-calling.

PM me sweetie and we will take it from there.

We're going to need a bigger toolbox...

OW threads seem to go like this a lot.

I wont be bullied by someone who thinks they can hide under the cover of the 'tin'ternet '

Astounding hypocrisy! Unless you're prepared to give your RL name & address to us all?

We're ALL "hiding" under usernames.

Leeeeeave It AAAAHT, you two!

Feel for your kids OP. Maybe focus on them to get your mind of MM?
Issues can be handed down unwittingly....abandoned by their mum whose attention is anywhere but with them. I would think that when a marriage breaks down the parents have a duty of care to their children first. Last thing if be doing is looking for sex from two diff men in the last 2/3 months

Ellen

Please reconsider.

The OP has posted in order to get it pulled.

There's a lot of good advice on this thread.

Nothing outing the OP.

No reason to pull it.

Why delete the thread? So that the OP and her supporters can rewrite history ? Why not just lock it, that way we can all see who said what when the inevitable TAAT starts.

It's almost as if they are started in order to provoke a reaction which will then reinforce the OPs belief that they are hard done by....

You used to have to have a damn good reason to get a thread pulled and according to Justine you still do. However, lately threads have been getting deleted on the whim of the OP and it's not on, it's really not.

I could not agree more chilling.

Just stop OP.

You are spreading your unhappiness. Not keen on your posts but hope you are able to get on an even keel.

Another thread I've wasted my time giving advice on if it's going to get pulled. We're all going to stop bothering soon.

Yes - Ellen please just lock it instead.

This thread has been very gentle on someone who is an OW with a lot of good advice. There is no good reason to delete it, just lock it...

ashattered
You are taking it out on the wrong person - Nicky. Take this spite out on OM - he is the bastard that deserves it, and you are very weak.

@YonicScrewdriver

Leeeeeave It AAAAHT, you two!

Alrighty, vindscreenviper on the basis that there is no TAAT, will leave up for now but close to new posts, and delete any troll-hunting / personal attacks.

Perhaps they're just fed up of mediating a sort of 'adult sandbox'? Wouldn't give me much job satisfaction, that's for sure. I'd probably give all bun threads an hour tops on the understanding that they implode on the hour, every hour...

Shop shagging some poor womans husband.

Simple.