Toad's Solicitor phoned me at home unannounced after hours this evening

[Karenthetoadslayer]

I thought this would call for a new thread.

As I was preparing the children's dinner, the phone rang and guess who it was? Toad's solicitor, to have a chat about contact.

I am a friendly and polite person, also was in shock, so I complied and explained to him the children's views on their father.

DS thought I was 'cool'. .

You never know what will happen at the moment.

Is there anything like a Court Order preventing contact?

Karen I'm not a legal expert but surely this is highly unprofessional? I mean, putting you on the spot like that! I seem to remember you said you were trying not to contact your solicitor too much due to cost issues (I'm in that boat now tbh) but surely contact should go via solicitors, and always by written format, not phone call for issues that may affect how contact is arranged. Just a thought, are you sure it actually was the solicitor and not just someone he put up to the task, to sound you out and see what you're thinking, to get one step ahead? Sorry, I might be way off base and this might be a standard way of operating but it sounds strange to me! Good luck

Did you influence your sons views on contact ?

OP, do you have a solicitor? If so, Toad's solicitor is in breach of the Solicitors' Code of Conduct. This is basic stuff, so I would be very surprised if it was indeed a solicitor who rang you.

Yes it was his solicitor.

No I am representing in person.

My son is 15.

I did not influence him and there are no contact orders in place.

What should I do?

He identified himself with the name of his solicitor.

Omg could it have been someone else pretending to be his solicitor.

I was so shocked - I should have checked his identity first.

Anyone could have been asked by Toad to phone me.

I am going to phone the police after I am back from the school run.

He was making fun of my accent.

What time was 'out of hours'? Solicitors don't work strict 9 to 5 and if you do he might try to avoid ringing you at work. At 15 your son can have his own views heard re contact.

The 'solicitor' made fun of your accent? I'd say that confirmed it was bogus. As well as the police, maybe call his solicitor this morning and ask if anyone from their office contacted you.

Suggest you get your own legal representation if he's going to play dirty tricks like this.

I m now going to do 1471 ad he was the last person to phone yesterday. Will update after school run.

I predict 'number withheld' - it's very easy to do this, just put 141 in front of the number you're dialling.

I agree unlikely to be bona fide - a professional wouldn't dream of making fun of an accent. Commenting, yes - 'is that a Sunderland accent I hear?' but not making fun. Did you say anything that Toad/solicitor havent already been told?

Come on Karen, solicitors don't call in the evening and dont't make fun of accents. And even if they did, like anyone cold calling you, you do not have to give out any information over the phone (they aren't the boss of you).

If you know his solicitor's name, call their office and speak to a manager and ask why members of their staff are calling you out of hours, and if it wasnt a member of staff, then their client is calling up pretending to be a member of staff which could possibly get him dropped as a client.

Play it to your advantage.

I've just seen OPs post re person making fun of accent. Report the incident to police and law society. Good luck

Don't bother about the police.
Do 1471 to check number and exact time of call and then check the solicitor's code of conduct.
You write to Toad's solicitor and also copy in the head of the firm stating that all communication is to be written to you, reminding them of said code and asking to confirm whether it was said solicitor who called. Don't bother about the small details. Just get things back on course. This absolutely needs to get into court/cafcass asap.
If it wasn't them, then write again giving exact time of call and asking them to ask their client to cease and desist from doing x and y or whatever toadyish crap he's been up to.
Stiff, formal and keep copies.
Only thing that matters is that he is attempting to circumvent due process and court will not look kindly at that.
Btw, have been reading your thread with amazement at toadyness and admiration for your strength.
At 15 DS is without a doubt able to state what relationship or not he wants with Sir Toad.

Dunfighting that is excellent advice. As a professional I often have to ting clients out of hours because of their work/life balance but it's always at their request.

Yes, it was from the solicitor's office and the last person who phoned last night was him at 17:32 from their office. I phoned the number and it is the solicitor's office main line.

I also checked my email to see if he had asked to phone me first, but he hadn't.

I swear this was an unannounced phone call from my Ex's solicitor directly to me in a situation with ongoing litigation.

He asked questions in relation to contact.

I posted to get some perspective from all of you about this.

So now I have verified it was indeed the solicitor calling and also, I have of course met him a few times at court, so I knew him anyway, but it's always good to double check.

Bloody hell. So an actual solicitor thought it was appropriate to mock your accent in an actual business call .... Professional code in that office is a bit interesting, obviously!

17.32 is hardly out of hours, most solicitors offices are open until 5.30.

As you are unrepresented there's no reason for him not to call you directly about contact arrangements if there wouldn't be time to do it by post.

He should have asked if it was convenient to talk however. When you say he mocked your accent, what did he actually say?

He said he wanted to speak to Karen and then said "I should have known it was you on the phone because of the accent" and laughed. May be he was embarrassed and I realise that people sometimes say stupid things when they are insecure, but we are talking about a professional here who is supposed to be well mannered and has daily contact with people.

Nobody has ever said that to me as a an opening line to a conversation. At the time, I ignored it, because I did not want to upset the children and make them worried whom I might be talkie to and also I was curious what he wanted, naturally.

So I just said "Hello Mr ToadsSolicitor, what can I do for you?"

It's not unethical or in breach of the solicitor's code of conduct for the solicitor to phone you direct if you are unrepresented. It would only be a breach if you were represented by a solicitor (which I don't think you are). I know this because I am a solicitor.

It's also not unethical or in breach of the solicitor's code of conduct for the solicitor to phone you after 5pm, especially as it was only just after 5pm (a lot of firms business hours are until 5.30pm these days). Nor does the solicitor need to ask to call you first.

Mocking your accent however is not very nice.

You might want to ask the solicitor to follow up any calls with an email? - so you have a record of what was discussed. At the very least you should make a detailed note yourself of what was discussed (in fact I would do this anyway).

Unfortunately if you are unrepresented then you are going to have to deal with his solicitor on occasion.

There are no contact arrangement in place. Toad has only recently requested that the children are made available to him, in August after no contact for almost one year.

They have sent an email yesterday to announce they will issue an application regarding contact if the children (10 and 15) do not agree to see Toad by 16:00 today.

It is odd in my opinion to follow that up with a chat?

17.32 isn't really out of hours. My DH works for a law firm and is routinely dealing with clients until after 6pm.

Maybe an email saying that you'd prefer to schedule future calls?

Tbh I don't think he was mocking your accent, and 17.32 is not out of hours either.

There are obviously issues's here and I'm not aware of the full piucture but this solicitor hasn't crossed any sort of boundary imo.

Can't quite get my head around a PP advising you to call the police over this.

It sounds as though he was having one last attempt at sorting it out informally before lodging an application.

Would you consider mediation? It is often successful if everyone has a genuine wish to solve the problem without recourse to court proceedings which always ramp up the animosity and stress

They are open until 17:00.

Naturally I will be busy in the evening with the children and therefore I do consider this out of hours.

Good idea to inform them to schedule calls to be available and not feel ambushed. Equally, I am not supposed to discuss financial issues with the children present or my statements to the court, so really they must know that in the evening the children will be around and I will not be in a position to talk.