Toad's Solicitor phoned me at home unannounced after hours this evening

[Karenthetoadslayer]

I thought this would call for a new thread.

As I was preparing the children's dinner, the phone rang and guess who it was? Toad's solicitor, to have a chat about contact.

I am a friendly and polite person, also was in shock, so I complied and explained to him the children's views on their father.

DS thought I was 'cool'. .

You never know what will happen at the moment.

Hope you and kids had a merry Christmas? His new ploy must be to try to win you back. Tempted?

Tempted as ever, Phase by the irresistible Toad .

We had an okay Christmas, thank you, with Toad coming and going, unfortunately.

Happy New Year Lweji

I am going to advertise him on an online dating site, if I have to, WWK .

Something like this perhaps:

www.rentokil-hygiene.co.uk/specialist-disinfection/

There's a site for that:
www.mysinglefriend.com/

How would you advertise him?

Very tempted to go with nauticant ...

HSL and HSB were going to advertise me on this website Lweji or share out my profile to eligible clients

How would I advertise Toad, however?

He has a nice car? Loves hotels?

Do I have to upload his photo or could I skip this step?

Loves DIY .

Karen & WWK, wishing you both all good things for the New Year; have a bright D.head-free future!

He has a nice car? Loves hotels?

Has own slime. Loves kids toys?

Thank you, Frances.

He has done it again. Invited himself to supper. . or rather have me invite him through gritted teeth.

On the upside, it's 'contact'. So that's 'contact' out of the way for the next two weeks, in my opinion.

There is a brilliant word I want you to use......

NO.

Why are you letting him into your house after everything thats happened? I thought you were going to apply for a continuation of the Non Mol order?

Steals the spoons? For some, that could be seen as an advantage. If you were, um, spoonless?

How can he invite himself to supper? I thought there was a non-mol or something?

It is his right to come to the house to carry out necessary repairs, Jux. Nothing I can do about it, other than moving out. Which I can afford, when the house is sold. To which effect said repairs have to be done.

He misplaced his (£600) specs earlier, temporarily. I could not resist asking whether I would find them in my draws.

However, he knows that should he misbehave, he is in trouble. In big trouble. I reckon this helps.

He is being really well behaved.

there's a shock!

You don't have to feed him though.

Hi KB. How's it going?how're the children?

Hi Jux . Fine, thank you. We are trying to have a 'normal' life.

Toad has agreed to no access while the children are at home. Good.

If he announces a need to potter round the house, he gives me notice and I go out for the time while he is here. Works for me for now. Hope the house will sell soon.

Applying for jobs non stop. I think I am not very good at this and I am thinking of finding someone to help me with this. The last time I applied for a job is over 15 years ago. But I learn as I go along, I hope.

The market is picking up, I've heard, and this time of year isn't great for selling, but spring is just round the corner, so unless you're in the sort of area no one in their right minds would choose (and you're not, are you), or it's priced waaaay too high, it should happen soon.

Same goes for jobs, really. At one point Toad wouldn't give you a reference. Will he do that now? I wonder if it's worth asking for a To Whom It May Concern generic reference while you can?

Glad things are quiet on the Toad front and he's behaving. Long may that last.

I hope you are taking pictures of your possessions before he "potters" around the house by himself.

We now have an agreed 'schedule of chattels' Lweji. No more shenanigans. And he has found another bean counting exercise to do, so he is as happy as a pig in shit.

Beautifully put, KB

As Happy as a Warty Toad in a Drain?

Right. This has been a confusing day.

Toad wants to meet the children. The children do not want to meet Toad. So Toad is now suggesting that I meet him without the children. Toad logic at its best. Ahem, your honour, I am very clearly over eighteen, I do not have to have contact with the father of my children instead of the children or do I?

I would not be surprised if he takes me to court about contact. Someone has to explain this to him. I tried and I failed.

He is bonkers, isn't he? Desperation at you all becoming increasingly free from his clutches; he probably never believed it would ever happen, and now it's looking almost like a reality, to him.

No you don't have to meet him unless you really want to (seems unlikely ).

Is he still popping in and out? If you ever find yourself feeding him again, do present him with the bill before you start cooking. Or send him shopping.

He wants you to meet with him because he still, after everything, believes that he can manipulate you to the point where you force the children to see him.

Its that simple.

The answer is NO.

I am worried for you KAren. He is sliming his way back in. You are allowing him into your home, you are allowing him to spend time with you, you are questioning yourself again.

The Non Mol order was there for a reason, and I worry that you have forgotten that and are being drawn in his Mr Nice Guy act. It wont last, please please go NC, please.