Toad's Solicitor phoned me at home unannounced after hours this evening

[Karenthetoadslayer]

I thought this would call for a new thread.

As I was preparing the children's dinner, the phone rang and guess who it was? Toad's solicitor, to have a chat about contact.

I am a friendly and polite person, also was in shock, so I complied and explained to him the children's views on their father.

DS thought I was 'cool'. .

You never know what will happen at the moment.

(Am an ex family lawyer btw and of course had to call unrepresented parties as there isn't always time to deal with things by post or email)

mumblechum the previous mediator got fed up with Toad lying to him and also stated that this case was unsuitable for mediation.

I of course had a friendly chat with his solicitor. He is doing his job.

yes if you call the police you will be playing into Toad's hands as it will make you look as if you have lost a grip on reality, as no-one has done anything wrong here.

There is always time to deal with things by email?

They don't have to issue today? There are no deadlines to be met here. He could have waited for my reply, as I had yesterday replied to their previous email and confirmed I would be meeting their 4:00 pm deadline and I would be asking the children.

This is why I posted zigzag because I was surprised and honestly did not know if this was right or wrong.

I also think the solicitor was trying to have one last attempt at 'settling' informally before starting court proceedings.

However if the children are around or you just don't feel 'ready' to take a call out of the blue then next time you should just say that you are not able to discuss at the current time and reschedule the call.

I think the main issue here is not really that the solicitor has done anything wrong, just that the call came out of the blue for you and you maybe felt unprepared. Which is natural of course.

Agree with zigzag.

I assume that Toad is a shit of the highest order.

By making a song and dance about this phone call you will end up giving him a reason to question your faculties.

17.32 is not 'out of hours' despite the office opening hours.

Remarking on your accent is a bit off (from a professional) imo but calling it 'mocking' really is a stretch.

I do totally understand that you feel a bit wrong footed. The solicitor does this every day whereas this is not a job for you, it's your life.

Yes, zigzag I wasn't expecting that.

It had quite a day with all this going on and was getting ready to cook dinner and have a peaceful evening.

Toad is emailing me all the time as it is and I have to say I can hardly keep up with their correspondence.

I wouldn't say he's phoned 'out of hours' the office might close to the public at 1700 but I'd be amazed if solicitors left anywhere near then

I don't think his comment was really insulting if he's just said he should have known you by your accent.

I'd agree with others either ask for email contact or tell him you're not prepared to take calls after a certain time.

Not quite sure what the people suggesting police involvement would report him for though

It's not professional to comment on my accent and I have never spoken to him directly before, so I still think it's not the ideal conversation opener.

Their correspondence is usually insulting and derogatory, as instructed by their client, so I was surprised why they would phone me.

No, on this occasion he has not insulted me, so no need to involve the police.

Thank you for all your opinions. It's difficult to know what to do when you're in the situation.

They send you insulting correspondence because he says to?? Seriously?

id say that's well out of order they should be putting his point across in a professional manner. You shouldn't have to put up with that I'd be complaining to the company management about that for starters.

I think the police would laugh at you if you reported someone for insulting you, they've far more important things to do on your hands. I'd also be extremely shocked if they treated you in an insulting and derogatory manner on his say so.

I hope you're feeling better after your surprise at the call. It can be difficult to know what to do or say when put on the spot so i think an email asking them to arrange calls/not to call after certain times is a good idea.

This is why I also was surprised. A few hours earlier I had received an onslaught of correspondence that is completely out of order. Toad has instructed them, it seems, to harass me as much as possible because he hates the thought of me and the children having a peaceful life.

They are currently trying to intimidate me into giving up my schedule 1 application and settle for nothing and insults instead.

What is so insulting about this correspondence?

Pretty I wish you could see their letters. They are frightening. WA considers them intimidating and aggressive.

I thought Toad wasnt supposed to be contacting you, by email or otherwise. Now this IS possibly something to mention to the police. Because I understand (IIRC) that he can contact you about certain work in the house, but presumably at a 'reasonable' level - so maybe a little word regarding this loophole being made into an opportunity for further harrassment.

Perhaps it should be suggested that all his many and varied thoughts throughout the day should be summarised into one. One is still excessive considering what he actually needs to write to you about. But might limit him a bit.

ahh, I see. he is now getting the solicitor to contact you rather than doing it himself. This again maybe needs to be sorted.

is there no way you can instruct a solicitor on your behalf because this is a nuts situation.

i would call the standards person for solicitors and tell them

Attacks on my character, for example.

Toad got removed from the house last year by the court.

It has now been established that it is perfectly ok for the solicitor to call me.

I will also take the advice and request for calls to be scheduled. Especially as the children are not to be informed of financial arrangements.

I am determined to go ahead now with my application myself as I am sure I will be awarded more than 'nuffink' .

Oh Karen - just another way to harass you, eh?
Although it does appear to be legit, they do know your situation with Toad and how acrimonious it is, so it seems a bit "off" nonetheless.

Hi Thumb yes! just as I was hoping to have a quiet evening.

But Toad doesn't do quiet evenings.

Oh well, I was friendly and cooperative and I hope I have calmed the situation down. It's not me who's ranting and raging.