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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating Thread 82

999 replies

steelchic · 19/10/2014 23:34

Psssst Daters over here !!
Come share your stories good and bad

OP posts:
brokenhearted55a · 13/11/2014 12:40

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Hissy · 13/11/2014 12:46

oh broken :( how sad (of him)

block and delete. what a total prick. I feel sorry for the poor woman in the photo! at least you haven't given him anything to hawk about..

:(

brokenhearted55a · 13/11/2014 12:52

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BreakOutTheKaraoke · 13/11/2014 12:54

Broken What a dick! Why did he say he was sending that? Surely he must know that's the worlds worst idea?

brokenhearted55a · 13/11/2014 12:56

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Blossomflowers · 13/11/2014 13:34

broken oh how horrid, WTAF is he thinking of. I just don't understand some people. Not as bad but dated a chat earlier this year and he seemed really keen, then went out with his sister "on the lash and texted me to say his sister was trying to get him laid" DELETE.

No dates on the horizon, was supposed to talk with some fellow I have been messaging but just could not summon up the enthusiasm after he told be about telling his kids bedtime stories, sweet but I am past all that stuff, am I being unfair?

SuperFlyHigh · 13/11/2014 13:42

broken - wow - what a complete and utter tosser....

so I suppose he was hinting at a 3some - or not??

here have some Wine or a Brew

brokenhearted55a · 13/11/2014 14:00

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Hissy · 13/11/2014 14:10

clearly he wasn't thinking....

sorry broken :(

minklundy · 13/11/2014 14:29

broken Shock the mind boggles.

break i will ask (for a hug) and try not to snotter on them. as it happens most of my friends are male...and all single bar one.
None of them would send dodgy pics. pm me if you're interested

hissy nothing wrong with a bit of hon hee haw with our Gallic cousins and you get to brush up on your French. Grin sounds more like fun than a plan though. Nowt wrong with fun.

Pinklaydee1302 · 13/11/2014 16:18

Rioux I've had a couple of short relationships out of these lasting approx couple of months but nobody I actually felt like it was a long term thing. Sadly yes the majority of them just no connection on my part more than theirs. I'm very fussy tho Grin

Pinklaydee1302 · 13/11/2014 16:20

Awwww no Broken sorry hun what a tosspot. Seems he's a player at best Hmm

gottafindaman4yagirl · 13/11/2014 16:37

Broken I would be very angry if a bloke did that to me, horrible man. Would of been worse if it happened months down the line and you had strong feelings for him.

Blossomflowers · 13/11/2014 17:02

Mr Gardener cannot understand why I do not want to meet up, on paper and on the phone what a brilliant match and connection. He then started getting really smutty, talking about what size he is, what he likes to do in bed, total yuk yuk. He is not constantly messaging asking if I want to meet up, bloody weirdo

jesy · 13/11/2014 17:16

My ex bf and who was my first ect has just told me he moving in with the girl he been seeing for six months , stupidity I'm upset I just realised that I had sex with him whilst he was with her .
Part of me thinks we'll life goes on but other wants to warn her what she getting into, not in a revenge way necessarily but she has kids.
Especially when he was on pof a few days ago.

SuperFlyHigh · 13/11/2014 17:17

Blossom - can you remind me about Mr Gardener - is he really that much of a catch?!

To be honest if they (without your encouragement) get really smutty, talks about size etc then it seems to me as if that's all they're after!

Kent Lad only did the smut with me AFTER I'd asked and got flirty (and we'd met up) so I give him brownie points for that! Grin

SuperFlyHigh · 13/11/2014 17:20

jesy if he was your first etc and he's moving in with her then I'm not surprised you're upset... why are you in touch with him? Just that all my exes stay that way, they're exes for a reason!

If I were you (others here may say differently) I wouldn't mention it to her... but that's me. what an idiot he is though, looks like he'll cheat on her. UGH

jesy · 13/11/2014 17:41

Yep he was my first kiss , everything , he had other gf since in the two year since we broke up obviously but to be told he looked at rings ect has hurt .
I knew we'd never be together again but he now with someone who has a child but when I told him about my miscarriage , his baby he yelled at me.

I wo t tell her anything .just maybe a good right hook wen I see him in town next

avocadogreen · 13/11/2014 17:44

Right you lot, I'm hoping you can help... I was going to start a thread but scared I'll get flamed for introducing a bloke to DC too soon...

So...I met this bloke on POF 5 months ago. It was my first online date and only 3 months after exH left me for OW so in hindsight maybe it was a bit too soon but I wasn't looking for anything serious. But he turned out to be lovely, we hit it off straight away. He said he loved me after 2 months, I felt the same. Brilliant with the kids, a real natural. We only see each other about twice a week and he had just started staying over when the kids are here, about a month ago.

It has all been a bit intense a bit quickly... For example we had started having hypothetical conversations about what would happen if we moved in together..
But all started by him. He has always been very loving and attentive. Sometimes a bit too intense with his texting. But he makes me very happy and although the talk had become a bit intense, in practice we still only saw each other once or twice a week.

All of a sudden he became a bit withdrawn and cancelled a couple of dates. I asked what was wrong, eventually he said he had been feeling anxious but wasn't sure why. And he has put it down to that he doesn't love me. He thought he did, he wanted to, but he thinks he was lying to himself.

We've had a talk and I'm no further... the end result was we've agreed to 'slow things down'. But I'm pretty gutted. He is 46, divorced twice, one teenage son, lived alone for 6 years. Maybe he thought he wanted a family but now can't deal with it.. maybe he's just a commitment phobe.. I am torn between giving it a go and just breaking it off. I went through all this with my ex, I don't need anpther man saying he doesn't love me anymore.

We've said we'll meet on Saturday...

avocadogreen · 13/11/2014 17:46

Sorry for epic post!

gottafindaman4yagirl · 13/11/2014 18:11

Avocado What a horrible situation, he said he loved you. You must be so confused. Sounds like he was very full on to start. Wish I had advice to give you.

gottafindaman4yagirl · 13/11/2014 18:35

Guy I'm dating cant be arsed to text me, started off texting me through out the day but not a peep all day. We don't even talk on the phone and we have been dating just over a month. He started off strong with holding hands, cuddles and planning things for us to do. Even agreed to take old profile down. If a man is into a woman then you would expect a few text a day, got to go to a dinner party with him at weekend. Its been planned for weeks so I think he's just keeping minimal contact untill after the dinner. I just suck at keeping men interested, what am I doing wrong. Am I expecting too much to have a man making an effort to just text me or give me a second thought during the day.

When he's around me he's very attentive, could just be all about sex for him and why bother to chase a woman if you got what you want.

How good are men at pretending. Can't believe I'm feeling anxious, I should be happy while dating.

Hissy · 13/11/2014 19:00

Advocado ditch him. don't give this guy the green light to piss you about.

gotta same applies to you.

hiding to nothing the pair of them.

Hissy · 13/11/2014 19:02

these are occasions where you do what you have to do, not what you want to do.

they've both shown each of you that you are not important enough to be worried about losing.

so lose them.

find someone that IS bothered. love yourselves enough to demand this.

no-one else will until you do.

dontcallmehon22 · 13/11/2014 19:17

hissy that is such good advice. That's why I ended it with blondegeeky. As soon as they express doubt - it's over in my view.

I'm gutted. Absolutely gutted though. Believed him, didn't I? Idiot.

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