Dating Thread 82

[steelchic]

Psssst Daters over here !!
Come share your stories good and bad

I haven't. I haven't even opened the message, I saw what it said as the notification flashed up. He won't know I've seen it.

Sublime , delete or block him, then you won't be tempted. I haven't responded to Mr Farters last text, part of me wants him to text so I can tell him, I'm worth more than the way he's treated me, but part of me thinks just delete his number no point in more contact, it's over :)

I can't block him, I just can't. I know it's only prolonging things, I know that.

Why can't I just GAFG?

I gave Mr Farter another chance gave him the benefit of the doubt cos he is quite a nice guy, but he has no clue how to treat a partner. Seems selfish. I just feel that after a long marriage and kids my ex and I took each other for granted. In the early days of a relationship you should be feeling special. I just think what would things be like with Mr F a year down the line

Sublime

Yes you can if I can you can x

Trust me ppl on here know how I feel about Mr IT but life goes on

Sublime, you can't get a fucking grip because you DTD with someone and that has naturally thrown up loads of emotional stuff. But remember that very little of that stuff is about MrShag&Ignore, he is but a mere bit part player in your story - this is all about you, your need to mourn/move on from your failed relationship and your self esteem. The best way to rebuild your self esteem is to lick your wounds and set yourself some clear boundaries about acceptable behaviour when you date until you can trust your own instincts again. If you come on here for advice and you hear a loud and clear message to SIT ON YOUR HANDS and BTB (block the bastard ) then you can be sure it is advice from women who have been there, done that (still are, in some cases!) and can be trusted.

Juju great advice.

Sublime I was so upset when the bloke I DTD with disappeared. Have realised its because I projected loads of stuff onto him, and really I wanted a relationship more than I wanted him. He was the first man I'd slept with after exH and it was my low self esteem and emotional stuff that was really upsetting me. He could have been anyone who showed me attention - it wasn't about him at all, but me.

Would it help to think of him as someone who is helping you move on - a step towards the right relationship with the right person?

For me, I would hate to be as needy as I was with DTD man than with someone I could be in a proper relationship with. DTD man has helped me see what NOT to do and am grateful (in a perverse way!) for that.

neverletgonack welcome!

I'm fairly new to the thread too. Not much advice from me yet... still finding my feet with dating!

Thanks for the advice. I know you're all right.

I caved, and messaged him back.

Just small talk.

I don't know. Why is he messaging me anyway?

Noooooooo. Sit on your hands, no more messages!

sorry, couldn't find the thread! I filled up the last one!

i've just got off the phone. my god, so so so much in common! cautiously excited.

have not asked car, nor pet ownership yet. I know, i've let myself down, i've let the thread down...

anyway... date... friday. DS has been asked on a sleepover, so the world's my lobster!

do I (on his insistence ladies first and all that) choose a lovely country pub nearish here and take him up on the offer to choose a location for the second date.. providing there is one?

there's a pub near me, excellent lighting... makes anyone look fab... good food etc... is it ok for me to suggest it when it's 10 mins from my village, and half an hour from his city?

steelchic remind me (although it's possibly obvious) why DO you call MrF MrF iykwim? I missed the backdraft story I fear...

did he actually FART on a date? or worse?

Haha Hissy, I had been out with him on about 6 dates then he asked me to go to his for dinner, so all was looking promising. We ended up DTD it was a disaster. All a bit rough and didn't last long, but I put it down to nerves and thought I'd see what the morning would bring. Early in the morning we DTD again, it was even worse. I felt like a piece of meat. I wanted to get up and go it was very early, he seemed to think everything was fine ( also had ED problem but still managed all very weird). I decided to pretend to be asleep and then get up and go a bit later.... I was trying to spare his feelings. Then he let off 2 enormous Farts. I was disgusted. Got up a bit later and left. I should have ended it there and then, but he texted me and apologised, said he was nervous....no mention of farts lol. We met for a coffee and he asked if I would give him another chance, like a fool I did. I've seen him twice since the coffee, both times at mine, once I made him dinner, we DTD rubbish again although not as rough ( I'd told him he was too rough before) mentioned his Ed he said he was tired and stressed and was not usual for him. Then he came over the other weekend, I was Ill so he brought beers for him ziltch for me , what a Pratt. DTD again ED again, this time he was too hot. I was very understanding, tried to convince him not to ignore it and go to docs. Anyway I should have took the Farting as a sign that he his a big insensitive , selfish man, but I didn't , I've learned a lesson .....never date a Farter lol x

Hissy great news about date, go for the country pub, sound lovely and you'll be more at ease if you kinda know the place :)

Hissy - yes, yes, the place with the great lighting! Absolutely!

oh dear steel that really was terrible huh?

funny to look bback on... eventually!
:)

I agree, the farting does signal a massive lack of respect, and TWICE too! ew!

i'd have been worried he was about to shit tbh!

So I'm just back to dating after the end of a year long relationship. I saw this thread and thought 'that's for me'.

I'm currently in a no strings attached arrangement with a really hot bloke which I'm absolutely fine with but looking for something more from somebody else. I'm on OKcupid and had a date 2 weeks ago but he works weekends and has been ill so we haven't been able to meet up again yet, but I'm hoping, he was lovely!

Well proud of .myself , text off a friend of Mr IT saying she not as nice as you and please still come on Sat.

Said no he will be there and its not right x
Sorta,felt like I was rejecting the mural friend which made me feel bad as she been so nice , kinda like a mum but it for best

Haha Hissy, I can already laugh about it. I'm going to trust my instinct from the start next time. I wasn't 100% sure about him but I did like 1 or 2 things about him. I know this sounds stupid but one of his favorite places is a place that holds a lot of memories for me, childhood holidays etc. I still go now and again as we scattered my mums ashes there. It's a lovely beach on a wee island and not on the beaten track.When I saw this on his profile, I thought " this is meant to be" and he was good looking.
But he's not for me.
I know the farting is a massive lack of respect, I think he's a big caveman :(

Morning all
steel so is it finished with Mr F?
hissy So looked like you are starting a fresh too.
Mr Italian has kept in contact but so wrapped in court case not asked for date, so may make life easy about whether to see him or not again.
Seeing Mr Fireman on Thursday 1st date , still worried about the teeth situation but friend said yesterday it did not look as bad as I thought.
Have been banging on about X recently, I asked him to do school run this morning as had to take cat to the vet, up shot ended telling me to fuck off in front of DS because I asked if he could give DS some dinner money. Nice reminds me why he is X.

Morning Blossom,
Yeah finished with Mr F, I haven't heard anything from him since his 12.50 am text that I didn't respond to. I'm obviously not woth his time and tbh I had too many doubts so this is for the best.
I'm sure your teeth won't be as bad as you think.
I do the same with my XH we get on well sometimes and he can be helpfull. Then he changes starts being awkward and grumpy. I think the pressure of trying to keep 2 families sometimes gets too much for him. Bless (not). That's when I take my rose coloured specs off and I remember how moody he was when we were together

steel tbh he Mr F really does not sound like a very nice person.
X was very mean this morning but I challenged him over money last night he is very irratic in paying me, he has missed 2 payments but denies this, hence being over the top this morning, can't help feeling upset today.
Teeth are pretty rubbish but less pain. Feel like crawling under a rock today

Ok bloke I've been texting on / off for a year I agreed to go on a,date with have doubts , kinda make me feel bad as he say he'll give me petrol money make me feel like a pro

Aw Blossom, you'll be ok, but I know sometimes it just gets all a bit too much. It's no good if you're ex is missing payments. Do you have a formal arrangement ? My ex and I sorted out a "minuite of agreement " it works well just done through lawyers and stamped by courts so if he missed a payment I could go back to lawyer and he'd get charged interest. Could you sort something like this out ( I'm in Scotland and I know our laws are slightly different)
Just think of your up and coming date Blossom, you never know what's around the corner x