Oh I'm so sorry everyone - yes I've been rather all over the place these last couple of days and it has taken all my mental strength just to get something in the oven for the kids!!
Thank you for checking on me - thank you for all your wonderful, humorous, supportive posts - I wrote a big reply to you all the other day and when I lost it I think my brain scrambled at the effort of addressing points people were making again!!
Anyway - I am a lot brighter today so here I am 
The smoking has stopped, I'm on patches! Haven't had any 
either, just keeping myself clear headed. Spoke to Rottie, did I tell you his solicitors letter was 2 full pages long with promises to change? Think I did. Well Rottie and I have just forged ahead now with the application for Financial relief, or Form A in easier divorce speak. I had to write my proposals for access to the girls for him right up to Christmas which was a bit of a mind ache. But I've stipulated that at no point do I want to see him and if I have to he's not to come to my door or talk to me or even fucking look at me! and that also I want him to behave himself around the kids by keeping those blubbery 'emotions' in check. I said to Rottie my concerns about his manipulative streak so she is composing a letter now, should get a copy later.
I will also say that, yeah it's great he's going to get counselling - but he's not doing it to stay married to me, that ship sailed years ago - He can do it for the kids, any future partner of his and for the hope of a better functional parenting relationship with me in the future and if he really does end up cured of his dominating, controlling ways, then he would accept that....,yeah, and pigs might fly. Of course he's never going to change, he's a Twatchops of the highest order!!
Have had a 'Thinking of you ALL' card from his mother! And I have politely declined contact with his sister for ever now. He's told them we're 'having problems'! Err well I'm not anymore haha!
Anyway thank you again for checking on me, means the world 