Blunt question: were you sexually active at 14?

[Mintyy]

As you know I'm not a pervy hairy-handed trucker.

Hopefully you will feel able to answer.

If you were sexually active at 14, can you say anything about why?

At 14 I was only just starting to notice men but had no interest in doing anything about it (all way too scary and new). Got into big crushes with pop stars and actors at 15. Got boyfriend at 16 and lost virginity ASAP out of curiosity. It was shit and he was a but flakey so I dumped him. Got another BF and things were more fun. Not sure if it makes any difference but this was mid 1980s and I wasn't surrounded by girls saying they'd done it, and wasn't hassled by boys (they weren't interested in me - ugly duckling).

Nope. Hadn't even snogged/held hands at that age. Was still planning on being a virgin until I got married too that went astray though

No. Went to an all girls school and was quite secluded! Had first boyfriend at 17, but we didn't have full sex because he didn't want to, next boyfriend at 19 also didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of pregnancy, finally lost virginity at 21 to someone I had no feelings for at all just to lose it, otherwise I'd probably still be a virgin now! I wasn't Ugly Betty either but it felt like it at the time!

No. I wasn't remotely interested at that age.
1st proper relationship at 19.

No, I was a swotty kid and no-one was interested in me, I was interested in boys though. Had my first boyfriend at 16 and we had sex when We were both 17, my idea. We were both virgins but I was still worried about AIDS, it being the late 80s. Not quite sure how two virgins who weren't drug users in the middle of nowhere were suppose to get AIDS but that was the climate back then. I get the impression from my old classmates I was actually quite young, or maybe they were just surprised that the class swot was up for it.

I'd be more tempted to raise the age of consent to 18 rather than lower it. It's difficult though, as has been seen on this thread, it's quite easy to be led astray by a friend. Ideally we should all lose our virginity in an equal relationship and if that's the case then 14 might be as good as 18. But as PPs have said the age of consent is about protecting children from abuse.

No, I was too scared I would end up with a baby !

Nope..I was bookish and very quiet, never really socialised after school. First kiss aged 19. I was a late starter, which suited me fine. First had sex at 21 with my first serious boyfriend.

In drunken states I think I let a boy 'touch' me a couple of times, but not penetrate at all.

But many of my friends were, very sad really.

No, but starting to 'get off with' boys, slow dancing at the end of parties etc, found it all petrifying TBH, and didn't lose virginty until 19.

This thread is making me uncomfortable

Aren't those of you describing your early experience worried that there will be predatory types having a wank fest over all these descriptions of underage sex?

I know i am. I posted after last night. Have asked for my posts to be deleted.

Lem the pervey types could be getting off over half the stuff on this site if they wanted to. It's hardly pornographic. Fear of the boogy man is a dangerous slope to slip on imo.

I have no problem with pervy types getting off on ADULTS discussing adult sex lives. If they get wrist ache so be it but this is about CHILDREN and i think, in poor taste.

Stick to a discussion about why the age of consent should remain but please don't provide paedophiles with wank fodder.

Sorry, I understand what you are saying but I have no intention of censoring my words because of some paedophile who may not even exist.

A little naive to think they don't exist

lem - really, there are thousands of sites where teenagers are graphically describing their sex lives facebook for one, sadly plenty of thread where people are posting about abuse they suffered from as children and the like. A bunch of women (mostly) stating the age they started fooling around or had piv sex really isn't a paedophiles wet dream.

I wasn't at 14.

I did lose my virginity at 15 though, although it was 4 months before my sixteenth. I had been with the boy in question for 6 months, we went on to be together for 3 years.

I don't regret it, I am still good friends with him know actually.

Yes because I said paedophiles don't exist stop being obtuse LEM. Sorry for not jumping on the band wagon with you but imo running around screaming "the sky is falling" is a bit ridiculous.

No I didn't lose my virginity till I was in my 20s. I was kind of interested in that I had crushes on boys but didn't have the confidence to do anything about it at 14. I used to talk to older men online, sometimes about sexual stuff and thankfully I had the good sense to never meet them. I felt uncomfortable as well as whilst I liked the thrill of talking to older men I knew it wasn't right that they were interested in someone my age so I stopped after a little while. I could have ended up in a really nasty situation and I'm very glad now that it never happened.

When I say older I mean they were in their 20s and 30s as far as I knew, the oldest guy I spoke to was 34. Or so they claimed, they could have been in their 50s for all I knew. I used to text them as well, I joined this chat dating thing that didn't ask for proof of my age. I remember two men were very insistent on wanting to meet me, one said he was 23, the other said he was 30. The 23 year old made it clear he wanted sex, the 30 year old didn't but I still thought him wanting to meet me was odd. The 34 year old didn't talk about meeting but he did tell me he was separated and had a toddler. Gross! I knew I wasn't ready for sex which is why I didn't meet any of them. It's horrifying looking back on it now, I thought I knew everything but it's only now I can see how vulnerable I was.

My youngest is 11 and still believes in Santa and loves her fluffy toys and dolls and riding her bike! I can't bear the thought of her thinking of sex so early on, even though she does know about it and has had sex education at school (year 7 at primary) She says boys are smelly, probably due to her 12 year old brother lol! I met my first serious boyfriend at 17 and was mature enough to have a relationship at that age, we got married 6 years later! I want my daughter to enjoy her childhood for as long as possible, plenty of time to deal with all the problems of the world and relationships later on in life!

It's a good point to be aware of LEM. Some might not have considered it so it's right to have a heads up. Of course anything you post might be wank fodder - presumably somebody somewhere has a fetish for, I don't know, desks and chairs and so trawls forums looking for chair reviews or something. But for sensitive experiences it's worth having the reminder. People can still choose to post or not based on their own feelings on the matter.

I wish there was more talk about people losing their virginity at an older age, late teens, early 20s (or older if you like). All of the information we got at school etc seemed to suggest that we would all be raring for it and trying to persuade us to put the brakes on. That just gave me the idea that it was normal to want sex at 14/15/16 and so I was absolutely desperate to do it as soon as I could since I was afraid of being "frigid". With first BF at 16.5 we were both ignoring physical signs that we weren't ready for sex and kept trying to make it happen anyway. We broke up but then I spent the whole of the year I was 17/18 trying to have sex with the next guy I dated, who was more experienced. Needless to say it wasn't particularly gentle, loving or organic in the way that it happened. It wasn't bad, but it was more of a "Yes, thank god I'm not a freak!" rather than "I could not be more close to you right now" which is how my cousin described it and I'm slightly jealous I didn't get to have that Lead to a self belief that I didn't really like sex and didn't get anything from it, I was still a "freak" but at least I could do it and that was what men wanted, right? It was years until I had sex I actually enjoyed, that was quite a shock!

Yes, 14 for me.. it felt okay at the time but he was much older and looking back I wish I had waited, but I'm glad it was a pleasant experience.

Yes. I lost my virginity at 14, out of curiosity/rebelliousness.

But also - No... apart from that incident, which was a one off incident, I didn't have a bf for the rest of the time I was 14, and didn't have any other sexual or romantic contact with anyone again until just before I was 16. I wasn't that impressed with the sex and was more interested in hanging around with my mates at that age. Lots of kids in my year were sexually active at this age though (which would have been 1991-2), girls and boys.

No, I wasn't until 17. Wasn't fussed about the male species until I hit 16 and even then I made him wait 6mths