"Sister wants to end 7 year dispute with me and family" (I thought about name-changing ).

[smokepole]

I know my posts either intrigue people, or annoy the hell out of them and that I could have name changed for a far balanced thread ,but I have not name changed.

Those that are familiar with me , will know that my family and I fell out with my elder sister , for not helping the family financially when able to do so. For those who don't know she refused to lend parents , or me money (but enough of the past).

Sister has asked if the kids DD1, 2 ,DS and me will go with her family skiing at Christmas in the Chalet they have rented in Austria ( fully paid by her).
Last night in a phone call she apologised in a "heart felt way" for not helping me or the family like an eldest daughter or sister should have done.

I have said the kids will be going on the holiday, I am of course in two minds whether to go ( my brother is having none of this change from his sister). The thing is Mum/Dad have been putting pressure on all of us to make up, Mum is 70 Dad is 74 so you can see why they want us to be a "family again".
Sister has even suggested my EX comes along and shares a " room with me" Mum and Dad would quite like it if me and the EX get back together (despite being Divorced for three years) . I just want to scream at my life that goes from mad- madder every week.

I did not need to post this thread (maybe I should not have based on my previous post). However, since I have told my life story on the previous thread, I might as well continue posting threads.

I still suspect rich brother has told or implied to the OP his handouts to her might be at risk if she doesn't do as he thinks is right. She's probably worried about losing out on potential funding.

Arsenic, I was thinking she should have walked bare foot...

I feel sorry for the sister who's seemingly been frozen out by her family for years. She's the one who deserves the apology.

Your sister now thinks she should have lent the money? Why? Because your parents wanted her to??? Because I really don't see why she should at all.

And backwards Worra

Your sister is being lovely and generous - but you still aren't happy.

You're getting the same replies on this thread as you did no your previous one. you wanted DSis to pay school fees for one child and she didn't want to do that. Your DD1 did well at the non-fee paying school.

Have you ever thought you should be apologising to DSis for putting her in the awkward position of having to refuse to pay for these school fees for whatever reason? Her money - her choice. She does not have to do anything for you and yet she is.

I feel really sorry for DSis.

Um. What? There has to be more to this than the story you've told. Because I genuinely can't see what your sister has done wrong.

I can see plenty wrong with what you've done though.

Your poor sister. Why would your parents want you to get back with your ex who I guess would also not pay your kids school fees and expect your sister to pay.
I think you should go on the holiday and cover the costs for your own family. That would stop the family rift.
I still can't see why she should pay for you to do anything. Any reason you can't work and pay your own way in life?

Only been on mn since March and I recognise a lot of people's names but I've never heard of you love!
Is there a "celebrity branch" here I didn't know about?

Back to your op, life is too short to waste it arguing so be the bigger person and make the effort like your sister is, works both ways....

Jeez, really you expected her to "lend" you money because she's your older sister?

I am firmly on your sister's side. You're lucky she's willing to renew contact with you at all. Why on earth ought she to have lent you money?? She's not your parent, she's your sister. How does that magically qualify her for shitty role in life?

I'm not familiar with that thread op, should I be?

Also - She can be selfish and forget your parents wishes as to how she spends her money.

Your sister is an adult, is she not?

Are you the youngest sibling?

There's not enough popcorn in the world really...

It seems that posting to say that as a family, we want to make up and forget and forgive old arguments , but that it will take time to heal sores angers people.

I want to make up with my sister as does my Brother and Parents but it is going to take time and meeting in the middle somewhere. Clearly this offer from sister is the first Olive Branch to be thrown and is a start for this family breakdown to be healed.

I do want to go on Holiday with her family and mine in tow, I do want it to be like it was when she was 17 and I was 12 (looking up to my elder sister and taking her advice). I just Don't know if it is that easy to mend family relationships in a 1 week holiday.

Having read some of your other thread op I really think that you need a better hobby than fantasising.

It seems that posting to say that as a family, we want to make up and forget and forgive old arguments, but that it will take time to heal sores angers people.

Yes love, that really is the reason...

I actually got to the bit on the last thread where you basically said that you suspected asd and dyspraxia were the reasons behind knobby behaviour and gave up. There is nothing that could make me agree that you were right and your sister wrong.

It'll be your irritating posting style and general sense of entitlement which is "angering" posters.

HTH

Are your parents toxic also? Why would they treat their eldest child like a bank and not speak to her when she will not pay for something. I am picturing your dad as the one from the Royale family sitcom that treats his son like that.

Separated (felt like divorce) for 5 years Divorced for 3 years.

Grow up OP. There is a 5 year age gap. Significant when you were 3. Insignificant in adulthood. Try to think objectively about what you are saying. I'd say your sis has had a really crappy deal frankly. At least my siblings have realised that in adulthood.

The point you are spectacularly missing is there is no meeting in the middle. Your sister has no middle to reach you were all wrong to fall out with her for not lending the money. It was her money and a bloody lot of it too. It is you and your brother that should be grovelling to her for being an arse about it all.

Okay, did your sister inherit money from a grandparent that you were all equally close to, and that was the money that you thought she should lend?

Or perhaps she bought the family council house in London, which is now worth 20 times what she paid for it, and she has now sold it, and that is the money you feel is rightfully yours?

Because I'm struggling to see why your sister should pay for your DC's school fees.

Phew! That's a relief op, because I was certain that your op implied that your sister was doing all the apologising rather than the rest of you because you felt you had done no wrong.

We are all just wondering why!!

I do want to go on Holiday

Well she's paying so of course you do freeloader.

Your poor sister. She needs to go nc with her toxic family. Blood does not make her responsible for your financial failings.