"Sister wants to end 7 year dispute with me and family" (I thought about name-changing ).

[smokepole]

I know my posts either intrigue people, or annoy the hell out of them and that I could have name changed for a far balanced thread ,but I have not name changed.

Those that are familiar with me , will know that my family and I fell out with my elder sister , for not helping the family financially when able to do so. For those who don't know she refused to lend parents , or me money (but enough of the past).

Sister has asked if the kids DD1, 2 ,DS and me will go with her family skiing at Christmas in the Chalet they have rented in Austria ( fully paid by her).
Last night in a phone call she apologised in a "heart felt way" for not helping me or the family like an eldest daughter or sister should have done.

I have said the kids will be going on the holiday, I am of course in two minds whether to go ( my brother is having none of this change from his sister). The thing is Mum/Dad have been putting pressure on all of us to make up, Mum is 70 Dad is 74 so you can see why they want us to be a "family again".
Sister has even suggested my EX comes along and shares a " room with me" Mum and Dad would quite like it if me and the EX get back together (despite being Divorced for three years) . I just want to scream at my life that goes from mad- madder every week.

I did not need to post this thread (maybe I should not have based on my previous post). However, since I have told my life story on the previous thread, I might as well continue posting threads.

Purely based on this post I think your ds has made a lovely gesture and wants to move on. If you are prepared to repair the relationship then accept her generous offer and take your dcs and enjoy. Just sending the dcs for a free holiday feels wrong to me and if you don't want exh there then don't be pressured into that.

If repairing the relationship isn't for you then decline the invitation for you and your dc.

You got your apology (which from your back story I don't think she needed to offer at all)

You get another handout, free of charge, for your children.

It's entirely up to you whether you want to accept this free trip as well.

I don't see what your ex has to do with it. He can decide whether to accept the free trip or not.

And your relationship with him isn't anyone else's business.

I know my posts either intrigue people, or annoy the hell out of them

Do you suffer in RL from this intrigue/annoy thing? Must be tough

I don't know who you are or recognise you from an earlier thread.

I don't understand why you would expect someone other than a bank manager to lend you money.

This post is "intriguing" but, perhaps, not in the way you intended

Like the others, I don't know the back story that we are supposed to remember. Why should we?
I think you should be very grateful that she wants to put the old disagreement behind her, and you should offer your own sincere apology in return.

I remember you OP.

Your poor sister has basically been blamed for refusing to pay for your DC's school fees, whilst you don't work.

You should be ashamed of how you treated her, she sounds like a very switched on woman who refused to pander to your completely ridiculous demands.

I wouldnt expect my Dsis or DB to lend me money for any school fees for DD, even if they had millions, it'd be their choice to do it or not, without me asking.

School fees or not. Details of previous dramas or not.

Peace is best. Being in good communication is best.

Your parents are aging and want peace and togetherness.

Your children are going to be with their aunt.

Drop the past. Make peace. Be open hearted. Everyone benefits from emotional generosity.

I hope you enjoy the holiday in the chalet.

(Maybe resist temptation to fall into 'should' post mortems!)

You're not coming off very well here.
I am the youngest sibling in my family, and don't see any reason why my sisters or brother 'should' ever fund my life, or that of my children.

Your poor sister!

I'dapologise to my sister for being a terrible sister.

Areyou worried that your brother might be angry if you go and retract his offered handouts to you and your children? Is his largesse conditional on your decision here?

BTW you don't intrigue me or particularly annoy me as I often think you're living in a fantasy world that you make up as you go along.

I just did a quick search on your username cos I'm not familiar with you either.

You sound a bit, um, fervent on the topic of secondary education. Are you OK?

Oh and I think you should apologise to your sister for casting her out for 7 years.

I think from your sisters side of dealing with you, you can well be defined as toxic. Why don't you work? I've read a few of your threads and you do have serious issues. Serious issues.

I can't be bothered to flick through the thread about your child's tutor

But from what I've read on this thread, you come across as rather narcissistic here.

If your sister wants to make up, she shouldn't feel she has to offer a family hand-out when a trip to Starbucks would have done, for a coffee and a chat.

You're funny you aren't you?

You expect that everyone will know 'who you are'. You expect people to trawl through an old thread for the backstory and you expect your sister to loan you money for something non essential.

The only scenario that I can really think of where somebody should loan someone money is in the case of an emergency ,she already sounds very generous paying for a holiday.

Oh you're the poster with the lying daughter.

I think that you enjoy a drama, delight in telling people about it to get them on your side and, if you don't check that behaviour, your daughter will be doing the same if she isn't already.

You have no right to be aggrieved that your sister wouldn't lend you money. I wonder what her 'backstory' would be? I'm sure it wouldn't be as you've portrayed it.

Agree with the posters who feel sorry for your sister. You have no moral high ground, never had it - and you've accepted the holiday. How strong are your convictions then?

Family dirty washing in public springs to mind. Good luck with it all then.

impossible to comment on this thread with no background.

FGS dont go on the holiday, let them go and enjoy it without the family loon there, your mum and dad know what your like and are probably close to giving up

just let them go without you and keep posting shite on MN to get some attention