"Sister wants to end 7 year dispute with me and family" (I thought about name-changing ).

[smokepole]

I know my posts either intrigue people, or annoy the hell out of them and that I could have name changed for a far balanced thread ,but I have not name changed.

Those that are familiar with me , will know that my family and I fell out with my elder sister , for not helping the family financially when able to do so. For those who don't know she refused to lend parents , or me money (but enough of the past).

Sister has asked if the kids DD1, 2 ,DS and me will go with her family skiing at Christmas in the Chalet they have rented in Austria ( fully paid by her).
Last night in a phone call she apologised in a "heart felt way" for not helping me or the family like an eldest daughter or sister should have done.

I have said the kids will be going on the holiday, I am of course in two minds whether to go ( my brother is having none of this change from his sister). The thing is Mum/Dad have been putting pressure on all of us to make up, Mum is 70 Dad is 74 so you can see why they want us to be a "family again".
Sister has even suggested my EX comes along and shares a " room with me" Mum and Dad would quite like it if me and the EX get back together (despite being Divorced for three years) . I just want to scream at my life that goes from mad- madder every week.

I did not need to post this thread (maybe I should not have based on my previous post). However, since I have told my life story on the previous thread, I might as well continue posting threads.

[WhereTheWildlingsAre]

Thanks for the update op. but it still doesn't explain why she had to spend the money on school fees

[Aeroflotgirl]

There are perfectly good alternatives your dd can go to, a lot of comprehensives are better than it as good as private schools.

[Chippednailvarnish]

Anyone else wondering if the Op's daughter contacted the sister after growing up and realising how stupid her mother's behaviour has been...

[Tinkerball]

OP I don't think you are reading replies properly or taking anything on board.

[Aeroflotgirl]

Op you cannot have a champagne lifestyle on beer money.

[deakymom]

she wants to reconcile but is interfering in your life already by trying to push you and your ex back together? says it all really send the kids with the grandparents be nice but dont engage in any matchmaking

how does your ex feel about this?

[BaffledSomeMore]

Look do you think this is just a random olive branch?
It comes at a time when you aren't going to have your grabby hand out for dd1's school fees and when dd1 is legally independent of you.
You can go on the holiday but the obstacle of your xh has been put in place.
She's paying lip service to you. She can't believe for a moment she was wrong but it doesn't hurt to say it. She doesn't want you on the holiday but she wants a relationship with your dc so she has invited you.
Send the dc. Stay at home.

[Camolips]

Honestly, I won't be cross if this is a reverse thread, just relieved.
Your sister's only mistake was telling her family that there was 20k in the bank. Hopefully she's learned her lesson now.

[SaucyJack]

Beginning to understand your weird obsession with secondary schools now.

OP- it isn't your sister's fault you pissed your education and your future down the drain, and it isn't her responsibility to bankroll you from the money she's earned by studying and working hard.

Own your failures in life, and if you're as concerned about your children's future as you pretend to be then the best thing you can do is to drop the entitled attitude and give them the work ethic and self-sufficiency you so clearly lack.

[saoirse31]

Your poor sis. If she'd any sense she'd keep well away from you and your greedy, grasping family.

[trixymalixy]

Gawd, it's all a bit Eastenders isn't it? Family business, family obligations, family feuds. Or should I say faaaamily.

[OraProNobis]

OP - please would you do me the courtesy of answering the question I asked of you in my earlier post.

I wait patiently in anticipation.

By the way I've just wasted a huge and non-refundable chunk of my life reading your 'daughter' thread. It's impossible to fit here what I want to say so I'll stick to this one thing - It is my considered and just opinion that if you had been to BENENDEN you would know how to spell it.

[ilovesooty]

You didn't "have" to go andwork for your parents. That was your choice.

Your brother and sister made other choices. They've been more successful than you.

It doesn't mean your sister had an obligation to fund your lifestyle choices. I don't know why you can't see that.

[Aeroflotgirl]

20k is not a lot at all! How do you know what she had planned for that money? It might be for her pension or to save for something specific. You sound very entitled!

[Zucker]

I know what I'd be doing with that olive branch if I were your sister OP.

[MrsBoldon]

You expected your sister to loan you TWENTY THOUSAND pounds because you were snobby about local school.

You are the one in the wrong here. You have treated your sister very badly and should be begging for her forgiveness to ve honest.

[BaffledSomeMore]

Ah it sounds like your sister has failed to conform to your family's demands of her for years then. Perhaps your family are control freaks?

[Seafoam]

So basically you pissed your life away - no you didn't 'have' to work for mum and dad, you had no other prospects- and then when you started popping out children you couldn't afford, you hoped your sister who had made something of herself, would fund the life you didn't work hard to provide yourself.

my betting is she knew if she lent that 20k to your parents she'd never see it again, good on her for making that call. She was entirely right to refuse.


MNHQ- please please tell me you have reason to think this poster is a troll- I can't cope with it! actually I unbelievable.

[WilburIsSomePig]

I have read all your posts on this thread, including your last one seemingly explaining how unreasonable your sister was to not lend you all money.

I think you should be begging your sister to forgive you. What she has in her bank account is not your or your parents business and you have no right to expect her to lend you money. There's no 'should' about it. You are completely out of order but I suspect that you could never, ever see that.

Thank God you're not my sister.

[WilburIsSomePig]

Seafoam I was just thinking the same thing, I actually hope the poster IS a troll.

[Sallyingforth]

I'm also blocking this thread now. The OP isn't getting the answers she wants, so it's going nowhere. Back to the real world...

[PrettyPictures92]

I am laughing really quite hard. Has no one else noticed that on another thread she says her DD2 has "disrespected the family"? I got this image of the OP being in some mafia type family and woe betide anyone who disrespect The Family ??

[Camolips]

Did your ex also work for the family firm? I'm just wondering why he couldn't finance the fees. You say it would have been a 'loan'. Can you honestly say 7 years later that you could have paid it back by now? Perhaps your sister knew it would be a 'gift' and she wasn't prepared for that.

[smokepole]

I did not go "Benenden" , I went to La Manche in Folkestone .

Ok Ora. This thread is moving so quickly I cant' see all the posts.

"Explain Why you think she should have paid the fees in the first place".

On the previous thread I stated that brother and I made a "pact" that none of our children if they failed the 11+ (brother now lives in a area with no 11+ but neighbours an area with it but has gone public, Private for his DD,Ds). would be forced to go to a modern "Sister" agreed with the promise, all three of us vowed to do whatever we needed to avoid that happening to any of our children. for instance I paid for a lot of Tutoring for sisters DD to pass her 11+ (out of love and care for Niece and because I had the money then).

The rest of the story is on the previous thread.