It was never 'work stress', it's emotional abuse and you're going to get divorced because of it H! (part3)

[thenamehaschanged]

New thread!

As always I'm hopeless and can't link properly to my old thread Work stress? Err I don't think so mate'

Thank you everyone for finishing off the last thread- glad to be starting afresh actually! I did have a little chuckle about Greg the plumber (Phwoar!!) thanks H for the suggestion - us at Mumsnet ran with it and he sounds like my dream man haha!

Anyway - I'm upstairs as usual avoiding going down and seeing old King of the Castle in his throne. He came up half an hour ago in the hope of 'some action' but was told to bugger off - he's manageable at the moment because all of a sudden it's him who's 'scared to rock the boat' and keeps telling me how grateful if he is to have been allowed back - yack! (You didn't give me a lot of choice H though did you? You played every emotional card in your pack and then literally forced your way in!)

Anyway - I'm feeling strong, seeing the police tomorrow - and action plan will be in place!

Love to you all

An abuser, although probably a user too.....

Sending you patience and fortitude for baring his absolute twatishness over the weekend x

Oh yes hedwig the 4th thread - honestly can't believe it's gone on this far - if I'd been with Rottie from the start it would have all been over in a thread and a half!

Anyway, I promise this will be my last one!! I'll have a think about a name

Thanks Bee, yes me too, I've done the looking up of Am I the Abuser?

They're so clever!

Thank you Adara

Glad you got your timeline done am dropped off. Can't believe he thinks your the liar, but then again I can. He is bonkers. Any way thread title

Work stress my arse. Fuck off twatchops here's to the rottie solicitor taking every penny.

Has a nice ring to it IMHO!!

Haha! thanks Petunia!!

Have two pom poms in one hand as have a third one in the other hand for the Rottie - KOKO. It's agony but there is light at the end of the tunnel and whereas before it was just someone lighting their own farts, it's now an actual real actual light - Yipee!

When this is all over, let's throw a really big party for name and buy Rottie a drink, too.

Yep he's a nasty abusive twat and arse.

Wishing a calm weekend.

Def need for a party Pedant!

It really didn't take him long to revert to type, did it Name? He has built himself up to be 'perfect and unassailable', therefore in his impaired mentality, you must be the one in the 'wrong'. As others have alluded, it is a sign of someone who is seriously deluded, and has a rigid and inflexible personality, all of which you have posted about in other parts of your threads. Keeping reminding yourself "Its not me, its HIM", the shitty behaviour, the lying about said shitty behaviour, the changing of goal posts in the middle of the game, the sheer unreasonableness and irrationality of it all - ALL HIM!

Fuck me, I am another one who can't wait til you are rid of this prize arsehole. You have been an absolute saint to put up with this shitty fuckwit for so long. But its time to get rid of him, Name. And soon enough you will emerge into the sunshine...

KOKO, keep your head down, avoid his fuckwittery as much as you can, and keep working towards your divorce objective. We are all behind you .

Love you Zazzles! Thank you

Name we should have a little MN party on here once Twuntychops is out of your life and home. He is one of the nastiest twats ive read about on here as well as a total fucking moron. Koko We are all rooting for you

Heck, I don't know how you have managed to cope with all this over the last month or so.

Non Mol/Occupation orders can be usually be made in 24 hours regardless of the income of your Dh and any solicitor knows this, what on earth has been going on here?

Yes, I'm confused. I thought it was all locked in for this last Wednesday. What prevented that from happening? I thought I'd read all the posts but obviously I've missed something.

Thanks Darkest, agreed!

Aspie solicitor 1 would have wanted 2.5k plus vat to do me a non mol as they didn't have a legal aid contract and also they were part of resolution as well so her practice was all about keeping the peace as much as possible - so she was completely the wrong choice and has been a waste of time and money unfortunately still,lesson learnt.

Twentythree, yes I read too something was happening on Wednesday except i don't think it came from me, I think a pp may have got confused. It's all happening for me on Tuesday!

Well H was out all night last night and I'm doing my usual weekend morning avoiding going downstairs but I've heard him playing with the kids and he sounds manically happy so who knows what I'm in for today!

Have a lovely Saturday everyone

Can you not be a bit ill still and get him to take them out somewhere?

Yes he's taking them swimming!! Oh joy of joys they'll be gone for a good few hours!!

He's really hungover but happy with it instead of moody - they've offered him a better share deal on his contract which is what he wanted, so I was like 'oh right. So you've signed it then???' NO not yet - fuck sake!!!! I'm literally wringing my hands and dribbling about it

Are you absolutely sure he hasn't signed the contract? I smell bullshit.

I simply can't imagine an employer allowing him to carry on for so long without signing it. Negotiations don't take that long. They are obliged by law to give one, recruiting is an expensive exercise so when they have staff in place they generally like people tied to an agreement.

Delurking, a) to cheer you on, and b) a Resolution trained solicitor can also be a Rottweiller one - mine was! Tried to use Resolution process with Ex, but he wouldn't do it, so she was a Rottweiller while I took him to court.

I'm with WildBillfemale on this one. Although I'm not senior enough to warrant share options (sob!), employers usually like to tie you into their contract fairly quickly. I am wondering if this is one of his ploys to keep you sweet Name, to keep you compliant, and his feet under the table until he feels he has more control and can start exerting it more openly on you. I am suspicious that way when it comes to clearly irrational, unreasonable people...

Anyway, KOKO, keep playing your divorce game the way you want to . And avoid this shitty fuckwit as much as you can.

Btw make sure he shows you that contract if you are able so you can see the finer financial details in it - taking pics/scans of it for Rotty would be even better .

He knows how much you are desperate for him to sign that contract, so he never will. However, Rotty does not consider it relevant, does she? So press on towards Tuesday without mentioning it again.

Yeah agreed Tribpot - I have no choice but to carry on regardless. In an ideal world it would be signed as rottie said, but I'm not in an ideal world and this is just another example of that.

Thanks silverypuss!

Wildbill - yeah all weird, I wouldn't put anything past him obviously but he was brought in to make changes within this small company and his employers are mates of his so the usual employment law ts&cs never seem to apply to H. It's always been matey employment with him.
He wanted more of a share of the business for when it's sold and they've now upped it to what he wanted - he was pulled aside last night and told this by his mate (or so he says anyway) I don't know.

Zazzles I wish I could get hold of a copy - I'll know what rottie has to say about it all on Tuesday I guess

Ah Name that makes more sense, now you have described the 'wink and a handshake' nature of the company he is in - that's why he could hold out and make demands of these people, and be reasonably assured that they will capitulate. His type prefers to conduct relationships with people in this way - its not necessarily above board, truthful or has any integrity behind it, but hey ho, it ties in with his personality type/issues, doesn't it? I am always wary of these sorts of people in a business and personal sense - they like you to lie for them and present them as 'normal, honest, reasonable and truthful', when in fact, they are the very opposite of that. In that case, I wouldn't worry too much about the contract (unless Rotty says so), and concentrate on getting the hell out of there.

KOKO, let Rotty know of any tidbits re: his contract, that you can make note of when possible, and plan to get him out of your life.