feelings on porn

[lollypop77]

Just wanted other peoples opinions on if they are ok with there partners/husbands watching porn regular ..do you get worried or wonder why they have the need to ??

I don't think anyone can or even should ban a man from using porn. That's his decision to make, not theirs. But everyone has the right to decide whether or not they want to be with a man who uses porn.

Nothing wrong with that OP. You can tell him that you, personally, don't like it and don't want it in your life or you relationships. Then let him decide what he wants more. Porn or you.

No I don't think that all men use porn, not at all.

I do think a lot do, specially if they're single.

I also think some men see it as their right to. I'm not saying they do have a right to, but that they think they have a right to. So if their wife objects, they don't stop using it but do get better about hiding it.

Other men enjoy it but stop using it out of respect for their partner once they find one.

I don't think there are any 'one size fits all' situations really.

I do. It's very black and white for me. I am glad of that.

So you think that all porn use is bad, that there are no circumstances under which it's acceptable? (im not judging your pov, just asking if that's how you see it).

Yes, that is how I see it. I wouldn't use the term "bad" though, I prefer "problematic"

I don't really care about porn.

However, it doesn't matter what any of us think about it.. it's your feelings on the matter that count in your own relationship.

"No I don't think that all men use porn, not at all.

I do think a lot do, specially if they're single. "

I'd say it was the other way around on anecdotal evidence - especially more so if they are married.

In answer to the OP, no, I am not okay with it. I think its sheer laziness and some men substitute it for a healthy sex life with their partner, which is not okay in my book. Those types tend to make crap lovers as well.

Agree that not all men use it and those that say its a 'man' thing or a male 'need' are talking utter rubbish.

Thankyou meerka and all that have posted it isnt a massive issue and he doesnt hide anythink he is very open an generally is a good man ... I am quite sencible and trust him I have looked at his history an I have explained my concerns and he has assured me that he isnt intrested in anyone else he said people are made diffrent some people sing without music sum people sing with a brass band he said he likes a full orchestra he feels better and more fullfilled lol

how poetic

It is difficult to speak openly about my experience in the sex industry. Very few people in real life know about my history. There are many people who will say "Well, you chose to do that kind of thing". People don't give a crap about my reasons, they just want to be titillated.

The shoots I was present for done in grim locations. Many of the other actors/actresses had addictions problems. Many were actively high during the filming. Drugs were encouraged. Sometimes, you can do things high, you would not do when sober. At least 3 girls I knew were underaged and everyone knew it! Lots of body make up was employed to cover up track marks from IV drug use. Condoms were laughed at...getting jizzed in the face was one of the activities strongly encouraged.....I could go on with many more examples. I was present at fetish shoots that were scary and painful.

I hope people will actually think about the person on that DVD before deciding a little porn is no big deal.

for me, there are a few things worrying about; joint top of the list is the ethics. The other top concern is that if someone in a relationship does not like it, then it's pretty disrespectful to carry on with it either openly or by hiding it, it's deceitful.

I personally think any man who tells his wife he don't watch is lying.

Just to keep you happy. I have no issue with my hubby watching , he works offshore half the year, its healthy for him to.

He has needs and stuck on a rig he needs a release some how

I can't understand why it would bother some wives. As long as you still have a healthy sex life surely that's all that matters

CW, I hope that your situation is better for you now

Hmm, sounds like he thinks you are stupid OP, sorry. He is completely disregarding your feelings, telling you they are wrong and you are silly. It's a metaphorical pat on the head.

Why don't you ask him to discuss it properly. Try asking him this, if he knows it upsets you, is he prepared to stop using it. If he says no (which he most likely will) you will have a better idea of how important you are to him.

I think some men watch porn through habit,some through addiction and some through curiosity.
I think when the habit turns to addiction and is a substitute for sex.
That's when the problems start.

I don't even have to present my case sometimes, it's all done for me

sorry I was answering AF and was a bit slow.

Bit of a bad cross-post there with catwitch. I do -not- wish to be casual about the life-destroying porn industry.

Known some ladies of the night irl and one young man, but it's not the sort of thing you can ask about in depth. I assume that there is the paid industry and there is the voluntary industry. You probably have to assume some of the 'voluntary' industry is no such thing, there's a lot of coercion involved. On the other hand there do seem to be some people in it of their genuine own free will, exhibitionists.

But really, I don't know who uses it more, single men or married men. I guess really I don't know that much about how it works in practice.

A few cross posts there. Mine was in reply to salene

Cat it embarrasses me to see women posting about feeling insecure or jealous when their partners watch porn. Jealous of what, exactly, the abuse of women?

You are right, all they think about is themselves -
'As long as I still have a good sex life',
'As long as hubby doesn't stray, lol',
'He needs a bit of release, doesn't bother me', etc.

Sadly, these posts are shockingly ignorant and selfish.

I accept there are some people in the industry by free will. My point is though, that when you turn on your laptop and go searching for cheap thrills to wank to you have no way of being sure of which people they are

even a 1% chance that you are getting off on filmed sexual abuse is 1% too much, IMO

Thanks, AF

My involvement lasted a short while and was years ago. I spent some time in therapy and have made my peace. I will never be at peace with people who believe casual porn use has no impact on anyone.

"Release" one of the most inappropriately over-used words in the English language

Them blue balls are a menace huh ?

CW, I would never judge you. You did what you had to do at the time, I am sure

Any man who watches porn is probably watching real rape and real abuse of women. I hate porn for this reason...that men are entertained by the abuse of women. I also hate it for the effect it has on ALL girls and women and how we are treated and viewed. It warps minds, affects relationships and is so utterly insidious....all the time you get people laughing it off as if it is just like watching Porkies or something. I could NEVER be with a man who watched porn as I would lose all respect for him and I would DISLIKE him immensely.

Pepper, same goes for women who watch the same.