Potential new OM on the horizon after years in a sexless marriage. (Darkesteyes)

[Darkesteyes]

Im starting a new thread because ive hijacked the Secrets thread far too much . I went on a date on Monday night with a man who asked me out last week.

Details start from the bottom of page 24 of the Secrets thread.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2148966-Secrets-we-want-to-tell-but-cant?pg=24

pink i rather suspect you have had a shit day and have come on here looking for someone else to take it out on. Looking after an ill person is 24/7 not clock in clock out.

And ive been with him since i was 19. So its been a bloody long time.

"You could do it to, but I suspect you'd rather not" thanks for that Youve said a lot about yourself in that one sentence.

Christ, Pink, who the fuck do you think you are?

Lay off, you are not helping.

I'd be eating myself silly out of pure boredom of being a carer of a 65 year old man. A man who'd never loved me or touched me in 2 decades.

You did have time to go and meet that weirdo so you do have time to train or find a job. And whilst studying and working us how you meet people and get to know them and know that they're not old bra - sniffing weirdos. Win win.

Pink dont be so bloody stupid Fuck off with your right wing bollocks. Trying to intimate that im lazy.

Good to know what the NHS thinks of carers. Until they need the next bed that is. Then the sun shines out of our arses.

I've had a great day, actually, but thank you for your thoughts.

Have you looked into what kind of social care your husband could receive if you were to leave him? Investigated benefits you would be entitled to as a single person? Free courses you might be able to do to get back into the workplace?

These are the routes to go down if you want to improve your life.

Nothing like a bit of empathy Pink. Well done.

Hi AF. Looks like certain people have got a bit bored of certain threads in AIBU so have wandered over here.

Im aware i made a mistake this month and if you must know Cri i only met up with the bloke once. He asked me out while i was out shopping or is food shopping not allowed now either.

Any Fucker - I just wondered why Darkest turned talking about work into talking about her diet. She can work and diet - people do.

And I've nothing against carers, but if that's the reason for Darkest staying in her marriage, there are routes out.

And right wing! I was telling her to look into benefits fgs!

And this is someone that works in the NHS Blooming

Darkest - why can't your husband have state funded carers?

I just received a text from him asking me to stay in touch but in spite of the way things have turned i WILL stay strong and ignore like i did last night.

If i was the person i was 3 years ago and the thread had turned like this i cant be sure id say the same.

I would actually like to do a course in social history. Its a big interest i have.

YOU might be eating yourself silly if you were in my situ Cri but ive lost 3 stone in this situ in the last year

And the fact that events in the last month havent kicked me back into comfort eating shows me ive made progress.

National Hate Service?

Why are people so invested into the idea of divorce. If OP feels that for now she can continue to look after her DH and for now her DH is happy for her to have another life/or have a relationship outside of the marriage, what possible benefit to both is divorce.

I wonder whether you might be better off as a student though. You would receive the max grant and loan to study which is more than carers allowance. Could tell them to stick the carers allowance and get an assessment for care for DH. Would that be a possibility? you could still be there for him, still have your home but have more freedom and embark on studying history.

Thats a very helpful idea Mini Thankyou. Its a course i would love to do especially on the changes from the 60s onwards.

Then you might like american history covering that period because you have the whole black power and feminist vibe going on, really great era to study. Because you would be a mature student, I would apply straight to the uni, ring, ask questions, ask to talk to one of the lecturers if you can, get some advice and apply through UCAS. Tis easy, go for it.

"changes from the 60s onwards"

As in: "feminism and other things that make the word a less-barbaric place".

You go for it, DE

Chaseface, how about you STFU. You don't speak for 99% of mumsnetters. You definitely don't speak for me.

The humanities are some of the best degrees to have, ask George!

Why does everyone need a career plan, just so they can invest in the only thing they have... and then sell their labour to fat cats and be exploited in the process. Fuck that.

Study what you are interested in.

Chase ive actually had pms from ppl over the years who are in the same or similar situations who would rather pm than start a thread.

Cant think why though

Mini i would love to get my teeth into the fact that many things have changed for the better for women but just as many havent. How support for women is now spiralling backwards and if it continues in this vain we will be back to where we were pre 1970s.