I don't want to hijack with the deeper-wider sociological issues, but part of the problem with society undervaluing all women's sexual needs is that they allow a lot of myths to flourish and those crappy mindsets are what's keeping both you and [now ex-] potential OM from having a nice, uncomplicated time of it.
My example: I met a man at the train station (DP and I are in an open relationship, rarely practised), we hit it off so thoroughly and well that we arranged to meet somewhere. Never ended up happening because, in the run-up to the actual "date", he started moving goalposts, testing boundaries and under-valuing me. (NB, he was also of the "don't like condoms" ilk).
I got the impression that he thought both the situation and I were "too easy". My view of things was quite the opposite: hitting it off that well with anybody doesn't happen every day. And sheer numbers are on my side - there must be a lot fewer women than men who are OK with no-strings sex, so I figured I was in a better "bargaining" (don't take me literally) position. BTW, I don't expect to be valued above rubies, just, like, not actively disrespected. I gave him the heave-ho, then was pestered with emails for a while until I threatened to do him for harassment.
It's all about the effort they choose to make, DE. In both our cases, no effort went towards respecting the essential other party, and too much towards what may well be "says no when she means yes" bullshit.
Stay strong.