I've never forgiven you for becoming fat

[24hourM0MMY]

My husband spoke these words to me last night. We've been talking about having a second child and told me he wants me to get in shape because he doesn't fancy me. I'm heartbroken. Btw, I'm 5'-4" and 9.5 stone, but he's got my 7 stone body from 10 years ago in his head. I dont know what to do.

What a prat!!

OP . He is beyond words.

This "man" is a fucking mysogynistic prick. You have a lovely figure OP The only weight you need to get rid of is him. I would class this as emotional abuse.

Its remarks like this that can trigger eating disorders. And pricks like this who make these remarks will then blame it all on magazines. Ive seen MRAs do this time and time again. You deserve better OP what a bastard

And not that it matters.... but I guess he is 'Adonis' himself a real Mr Clooney and Mr Pitt rolled into one.

Like hell

'The only weight you need to get rid of is him'

Hear hear.

Weight has nothing to do with this - skinny, average and overweight people can be found attractive.
This is emotional abuse and has nothing to do with your size - pre- or post-children.
Git. Him, not the OP.

Look at your child, then look at your husband. let your son's wellbeing give you the strength to get out. How can you even have been considering having another child with this man? Leaving with one child will be easier than leaving with two or spending your life being beaten down and abused by this man.

My husband said something similar to me in June. That he didn't fancy me and that the fact I had put on weight had added to this. I am 5foot 3 and weigh a bit over 10 stone. In places I am chunky, but I over ate because I was grief stricken owing to a death in the family and his lack of support.
Several months on I have found that I can not forgive his mean comments and I have been alerted to his constant criticism. You don't even have any weight to shift..I think it is really hard to forgive cruelty, and I for one can't

He's an absolute scumbag OP. He's treating you with contempt and you deserve so much better. You have many many ground for divorce under unreasonable behaviour.

He is vile.

I'm so sorry OP as I know this must be an awful time for you, but I think you must know that you can't stay with this appalling abusive coward of a 'man'.

He has not found you unattractive, he has not cringed. This isn't about looks, it is about finding ways to say anything that will hurt you. He wants to get pleasure out of your body, but then make sure at the same time that you feel bad about it. He is just abusive and the only problems here are his. He is seriously twisted, I'd get yourself and your son as far away as possible from his poisonous presence.

I am worried that over the years he will have been treating you badly in many ways, and any doubts you have about yourself will be because of him, not based in reality. He may have skewed your view of what you should tolerate. You must not tolerate him any longer. You have so much of a happier future ahead when you get rid of this toxic man. I am sure that he has done many things that put him at fault, don't let him cast you as the one causing the break up. Make sure you tell people who he really is.

You deserve so much better, and I'm sure you'll be delighted in the future to discover what it is to be with a better man.

This isn't about your weight is it? It's about him being a controlling fuck of a man. I hope you can summon the strength to leave him OP

I agree completely with Temporaryusername.

Especially He wants to get pleasure out of your body, but then make sure at the same time that you feel bad about it. He is just abusive and the only problems here are his. He is seriously twisted, I'd get yourself and your son as far away as possible from his poisonous presence.

'Toxic' is spot on.

murder I hope you are reading these wise words too; it sounds like they apply to your situation as well.

Seriously - no-one needs a scum like this in their lives.

I think I am just going to repeat everyone else and say this man is toxic and abusive. It is very simple. He sees your body as his toy to do as he pleases. He doesn't see you as a functioning, self aware human. Please take care of yourself and get out of this situation. Please. This is not going to improve.

And, from personal experience. I am the same height as you and used to weigh 7 stone. I fainted regularly, was always ill, always cold, struggled to concentrate, was turned away from blood donors and referred to my GP, always tired. I ended up in a horrible variety of treatments to address weight and eating issues. I was also 17-19 years old. I'm now 41, a mother and the ther end (+a bit) of the weight range. Of the 2, this is far and away the better place to be. He is a prick, pure and simple.

God op what a wanker your "d"h is

Tell him to kiss your slim arse and then pack his bags for him.

He sounds like a nasty horror.

You're D.H is a serious deluded if he thinks 9st is fat!. He sounds like a right arse hole.

This "man" is a fucking mysogynistic prick.

Yep, its about time we started calling these fucking arseholes out for what they really are.

Oh op what a horrible horrible abusive load of crap you've had to listen to. I could cry for you.

I hope you can take some strength from the reaction here and leave this arsehole.

Tbh I'd be quite worried about a man who seemingly prefers to have sex with a woman who has the body shape of a child.

That's weird. OP, hope you are ok and have got the message loud and clear:
you are not fat. He is a bastard. Consider LTB.

Hes a vile excuse for a man, and you are a slim beautiful woman.

You need to get the hell away from that arsehole.

If I said anything like that to my DW I'd be out on my arse five seconds later. Quite right too.

Kick the disgusting turd out at once. Hopefully it will rain and wash him into the sewer. Such people are beneath reprehension.

Hi OP

It sounds like he sees women primarily as sex objects. It's also really horrible emotional abuse. It's him that's faulty, not you! I would not stay in your position.

He is a difficult person to understand. (this is not an excuse for him by the way) and is also in a depressive state right now. Our lives have been full of stresses from many directions. What hurts the most is that when I asked him how he could be willing to crush my dream of a family and a sibling for our son, his response was: "What about my dream for a a second child?"

Basically, telling me i was crushing his dream for a second child by not working to be skinny so he will want to have sex with me.

I want him to see a psychologist before i turn the lights out on this marriage. He is a good dad to our son, son loves him to bits despite his faults. I just wish somebody loved me to bits despite mine.