First lesbian date? Clueless old bird needs your help.

[Nearlyteatime]

In short: was married to a man for years despite knowing I was gay from young age. Marriage ended amicably several years ago, but there's been too much going on in recent years for me to consider dating. Have NCed as I've posted so much on here that would identify me!

I have never dated. My relationships have evolved from close friendships.

A woman I've met a couple of times (and really like) has asked if I'd like to discuss a shared interest (let's say "upholstery" for the sake of anonymity) over wine. I've said yes. I know she's gay. She knows I'm gay. We've fixed a date. But is it a date, or is it just talking and drinking?

If I wanted to talk about 'upholstery' with someone and didn't want it to be misconstrued, I'd always say coffee, not wine.

Really, really hoping it's a date...

Any advice on how to read the signs, o wise and lovely MNers?

Oh lovely update :)

I lost your thread - sorry!

My heart/chest feels all racy on your behalf - sort of breath holdy! I can't imagine how you must be feeling

I love the image of all your RL friends

Woo, sounds fantastic OP. I really hope that next time you get to plump the cushions and stroke the lovely upholstery..it is every bit as spectacular as you have no doubt imagined. You must feel as if you are floating everywhere about a foot off the ground!

I read this thread with interest as I have recently been through something silimar. I came out 2 years ago after splitting up with DS's dad. We had been together 13 years and he had always been aware I had an interest in women. It continued to grow throughout our relationship and it is something I really struggled with. We genuinely did love each other but in the end we grew apart.

I had my first proper date with a woman 2 years ago (about 8 months after split) and she is now my GF!

To the poster who cannot see themselves ever having this life..I know it is very, very hard finally admitting to yourself and others that you do in fact want something other than the life you have and you are not really happy. It takes a lot of courage to become someone different to the person people may have always known you to be. But, you must not live your life for other people, having been there I wish I had the courage to leave years ago instead of staying because I felt ex didn't deserve it or I wasn't sure if I could make it. Ex finally decided it for me by being shitty and after we split I never looked back. You might just amaze yourself. I really, really hope you do

That was similar not silimar! Doh.

Oh OP that does sound promising I completely understand that feeling when you just want to hold something to your chest and not share much because you are absorbing it and happy. That's LOVELY. Really pleased for you and keep us updated with how things progress (in the most general of terms, of course )

I'm very pleased about the date OP. Even more so, thanks to you, I am now enjoying an even cheesier than usual Spotify playlist including Climie Fisher and the kids from fame.

Yay - sounds fantastic! Really hope she's the one but if not it sounds like the whole experience is doing your confidence the world of good :)

I feel this thread should be nominated for Classics. Would that be too much of an invasion of your privacy Nearlyteatime ?

Haven't read this since Thursday. So chuffed for you, it sounds like you had a wonderful date and you have some extremely pleasant and exciting times ahead

Brilliant!

Hi Nearlyteatime....

I love your thread and think you sound wonderful....I have smiled my way through reading it..

I was married to my exhb for many years (had children) and then we split up

After being single for a while I realised that I was gay.....6 years down the line I have been with my partner, fiancé, for over two years and we are getting married next year.

I still remember our first kiss....our first date....our first everything and love her more and more with every passing day

I wish you the very best of luck and look forward to reading more

Thank you for all the lovely comments.

PJJellyBelly and fatmanbuttsam (which sounds like a band): great to hear that I'm on a well-trodden path .

Ghoul, that is such a compliment (not just to me, of course, but to the whole Crafting Guild founded on this very thread) but I think it might feel a bit exposing to be in classics (which might sound mad given that I've been posting on a public forum!).

I'm overjoyed to discover, thanks to this thread, that the Kids from Fame are on Spotify. I had the sheet music, oakmaiden and would have loved the tape! Doris looks less like Carla from Cheers, I've discovered, and the cellist wasn't actually Jacqueline Du Pre. Who knew?

Shall we have a Craft Guild playlist? Shall we? Please?

Message received and understood. I'll leave your fab thread to the relative obscurity of relationships

Brilliant outcome NearlyTT, so delighted it went well as have been wondering when the big day was to be since your OP.

I can also attest to joining the ranks of latebloomers, having come out to self in the last few years, and more recently to DH. I'm in the horrible painful early part of marriage breakup, as a result, but don't want to put a downer on this lovely thread of new love.

Just to say, it's inspiring me to hear that things can work out after going through this painful process.

I want to be a lesbian, it's so romantic! Very miffed that DP has no interest in 'upholstery' and we've been together far too long to be interested in much "upholstery".

So delighted for you teatime, hope in a few dates you get as far as appliqué.

Another late bloomer here as well, it's all a bit wonderful when you work it out, isn't it? Very excited for you, Nearly.

Oh, and yy to Crafters Guild playlist, please!

So many of us late bloomers about . Such a relief! I sometimes feel a bit like a less-than-proper lesbian around women who've been out since they were 15 and I've avoided the LGBT parenting boards here because I had the dc while married to their dad and I'm not in a same-sex relationship... yet . So it's just lovely to know you're on MN too.

For our playlist, "There's Room on this Sofa for Two", I suggest the following to kick us off, as these have formed the soundtrack to the thread (in my kitchen at least) but any and all suggestions are welcome. (I'm just wondering if there's a way to share this list on Spotify without outing myself... Getting a bit carried away now).

How will I know? (Whitney)
Come what may (Moulin Rouge)
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered (Ella Fitzgerald's version)
That ole devil called love (Alison Moyet)
Love letters (AM)
Love changes everything (Climie Fisher)
And, naturally, 'For the first time in forever'.

I'm 15 again, but with a salary, no zits and no shame. Yee-ha!

I kissed a girl (Katy Perry)

GF also loving this thread. She says she can't believe I didn't suggest Thank god for you by Heather Peace. Besides, it is now the law that you must worship HP at all times..you know this right?

What lovely news nearly.
This thread has everything: romance, filthy innuendo, and The Kids from Fame. (I saw them in concert and truly believed that I might be spotted in the audience and whisked up onstage to dance with Leroy.)

soundtrack .... you do something to me. Paul Weller

proper love song

Could we save the divine Paul Weller for the second compilation? That's when things get Serious and we move beyond the fancying-from-afar frothy and frankly adolescent concoction that I have suggested above. I fear he might be sullied by the pop frivolity and that song is properly beautiful...

I know Heather is lesbian royalty but I haven't listened to her stuff. I have seen kd lang live, though, and own at least four Indigo Girls albums. Kd was my first proper crush. Hopefully that counts for something. I'd put her in the second compilation, too.

at goldfish. You saw the Kids FF live?!?!? Did they do the splits-jump from a height?

Very good suggestion manabout, I love that Paul Weller one. It makes me go wibbly every time I hear it.

Nearly, I totally relate to what you said about not feeling proper and having had DCs with a man, which is also the case for me. I didn't realise there were so many of us late bloomers around here!

Could we be magic like you by the kids from Fame.

I only just remembered it thanks to this thread. I remember being very young and promising myself I'd play it at my DCs christening. Obviously by the time I'd had DS I'd forgotten all about it, so if it could go on the playlist it would be like I'd fulfilled my promise. Kinda.

Also the first line 'Welcome, what's it like to be so new?' Very much suits OP's situation