First lesbian date? Clueless old bird needs your help.

[Nearlyteatime]

In short: was married to a man for years despite knowing I was gay from young age. Marriage ended amicably several years ago, but there's been too much going on in recent years for me to consider dating. Have NCed as I've posted so much on here that would identify me!

I have never dated. My relationships have evolved from close friendships.

A woman I've met a couple of times (and really like) has asked if I'd like to discuss a shared interest (let's say "upholstery" for the sake of anonymity) over wine. I've said yes. I know she's gay. She knows I'm gay. We've fixed a date. But is it a date, or is it just talking and drinking?

If I wanted to talk about 'upholstery' with someone and didn't want it to be misconstrued, I'd always say coffee, not wine.

Really, really hoping it's a date...

Any advice on how to read the signs, o wise and lovely MNers?

oooooh it's a date...! Definitely a date . Very exciting and shamelessly marking place!

Where is the upholstery conversation taking place - bar/restaurant/hers/yours..?? We need details

My mum refers to those very tight suck-you-in knickers as upholstery, so that's a nice double entendre for you to conjure with :-)

She's probably just as nervous as you!!

Have fun & keep us updated, please.

I'm teetering on entering the world of dating. For now I'm going to live vicariously through you... ;)

Shackleberry, if it turns out to be just wine and not 'wine', I'll happily form a little dating support thread with you .

Meeting in a cafe bar. She's going considerably out of her way to get there.

I've posted so many miserable things on MN in the past that it's a thing of joy to be frothy and fizzy like this, no matter what. Very Sherbet Dib Dab.

Oh this is rather exciting

I think if she is travelling to talk about upholstery then she is interested in more than upholstery

Fantastic! Definitely a date. Wear whatever you feel comfortable in and just don't turn up with a removal van (sorry, crappy lesbian first date cliché/joke!)

A removal truck might be appropriate if they need to move something upholstered!

Sounds like a date to me :)

people don't put themselves out deliberately for people they don't like! :D eeeep.

Wine always a good idea.

I do hope you get to caress her soft furnishings

Sorry I called you shackleberry, shuckleberry. I am truly grateful to each and every one of you for your enthusiasm and brilliant comments.

I have moved away from Spotifying 80s smooch and am now humming the old standards: 'Bewitched, bothered and bewildered', etc.

You're not wrong about the van, honking. You know how in 'I can hear the bells' in the musical 'Hairspray' - bear with me and my low brow tastes, but I own a Bjork album if that helps - Tracy goes from colliding with Link at the beginning of the song to imagining their wedding by the last verse?

That's me.

But don't worry, I won't be scary van-lady. I am doing The Crazy here so I don't have to do it in RL.

Yes, it's a date -- but she's very sensibly given you both a conversational starter for ten, so you don't just sit there gazing wide-eyed and nervously at each other!

Exciting!

hahahha. Shackleberry... think you have something on your mind there?

OMG I am totally there with 'I can hear the bells'!

This is very exciting... I love a return to dating thread.

I have been perusing this thread while thinking of upholstery double-entendres. There's a surprising amount of sexy talk you can do with upholstery. Soft, yielding upholstery. With just a touch of firmness. So tactile...

Sounds like a date to me.
Good luck Op

I know, Lonny, I've been thinking about the hurly-burly of the chaise longue

Oh, love that quote mother

How disappointing will it be if she really does want to talk about 'upholstery'?

Very. But then I will definitely turn my attention towards online dating.

Someone at work said I was 'glowing' today (and not in a sweaty way - she said I looked 'amazing' ). Someone else told me how great I looked. (Bear with).

Now, I'm not routinely complimented like this. I worked so hard - with a huge amount of help - to get to where I am now. Being closeted for so long took me to the darkest places. I never imagined I could live authentically without destroying those I loved. But now I'm happy with my sexuality, have a good relationship with the dc's father, my dc are happy and my mother has come to terms with who I am. Regardless of whether anything happens with the Upholsterer*, I think a long dormant Me has woken up. Coming out was soooooo hard and I haven't got to experience any of the fun... until now. I think that's why I'm glowing, and I hope I can spread a bit of light, regardless of what happens next week .

*not a great NN. Sounds a bit sinister.

Good luck OP! If all goes well you can invite her back to admire your sofa.

Sooo excited for you - really hoping it goes brilliantly!

This is one bloody lovely thread. OP, you sound like a total legend and The Upholsterer (now I'm picturing Kathy Bates) would (will!) be lucky to have you.

It's a date. Relax, don't drink too much, & enjoy your evening

Yes, don't drink too much! Have a great time!

Glad your feeling so much more comfortable in your own skin. I have my fingers cross for you :)