First lesbian date? Clueless old bird needs your help.

[Nearlyteatime]

In short: was married to a man for years despite knowing I was gay from young age. Marriage ended amicably several years ago, but there's been too much going on in recent years for me to consider dating. Have NCed as I've posted so much on here that would identify me!

I have never dated. My relationships have evolved from close friendships.

A woman I've met a couple of times (and really like) has asked if I'd like to discuss a shared interest (let's say "upholstery" for the sake of anonymity) over wine. I've said yes. I know she's gay. She knows I'm gay. We've fixed a date. But is it a date, or is it just talking and drinking?

If I wanted to talk about 'upholstery' with someone and didn't want it to be misconstrued, I'd always say coffee, not wine.

Really, really hoping it's a date...

Any advice on how to read the signs, o wise and lovely MNers?

Feel so much better and well out of it, tbh.

RL friends are angry for me. They say that I was definitely led up the garden path and that if she didn't actively deceive, she knew my situation, still did things that I haven't written down here which were (in their view) utterly and unambiguously date-like and even when she found out from someone else how I saw the situation, didn't in any way adjust her behaviour. I don't think that's either kind or imaginative.

Still, it's excellent (if bruising) experience to have and helps me clarify what I will not tolerate. I don't have a tick list of criteria that future gfs must meet, but if I did, 'kindness' would be at the top.

Ok, I do have a tick list. Must be bright, uncynical, warm, kind. Ideally able to talk very seriously about crap telly and get excited about a good font. (Typeface, not baptismal).

Baptismal font

....and I misread uncynical as unicycle