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Original poster

Dating thread 79

999 replies

louby44 · 13/08/2014 16:47

Wow! 79 already...

Welcome to all daters, new, experienced or tearing your hair out at the frustration!

OP posts:
UrsulaBuffay · 22/08/2014 21:18

Oh god! I went on a date or two with someone loud, very 'I'm mad me!' And he seemed fun at first but during one of his crazy rantings said 'oh pleeease don't tell me you've been sexually assaulted all my female friends say that!' Wtf?!

Jarlin it's weird, I'm 34 but I feel so much older than when all this began at 32 seems a big difference. Don't think it has helped that almost all attention has come from younger men who say they like 'older women'. My preference is for younger guys but it's not something fetishistic and they make me feel like something off their bucket list!

UrsulaBuffay · 22/08/2014 21:21

Oh god! I went on a date or two with someone loud, very 'I'm mad me!' And he seemed fun at first but during one of his crazy rantings said 'oh pleeease don't tell me you've been sexually assaulted all my female friends say that!' Wtf?!

Jarlin it's weird, I'm 34 but I feel so much older than when all this began at 32 seems a big difference. Don't think it has helped that almost all attention has come from younger men who say they like 'older women'. My preference is for younger guys but it's not something fetishistic and they make me feel like something off their bucket list!

lottieandmia · 22/08/2014 21:21

34 is not old Ursulabuffay!

UrsulaBuffay · 22/08/2014 21:22

I know! But I feel it! I've got a DC so I think it makes you feel 'older' in online dating terms

UrsulaBuffay · 22/08/2014 21:23

I'm having a Chinese prior to the big diet tomorrow

lottieandmia · 22/08/2014 21:27

I've got 3 dc - so that is a lot! But I still don't feel old. Yet! Haha

UrsulaBuffay · 22/08/2014 21:33

I've had a few health problems the last yr or so and I think they've made me feel and look a bit older too

lottieandmia · 22/08/2014 22:09

Well when I was with my ex (an addict) I looked exhausted and it was only after I left him that I realised how much better I looked and felt. So stress can certainly not help.

UrsulaBuffay · 22/08/2014 22:22

Yes stress and lack of good sleep is responsible, hopefully I can settle my mind and get back to feeling my age

dontcallmehon22 · 22/08/2014 22:28

Blondegeeky told me I need to trust him more and that he will be patient with me, because there's something (well lots of things) he really likes about me. We'll see. I'll not compromise for him. I said no to seeing him tomorrow or Monday. He can't expect me to be available last minute. Next time he'll learn not to make assumptions. If he doesn't...shame, I liked him, but I'm nobody's bitch.

dontcallmehon22 · 22/08/2014 22:29

I'm 34 too Ursula. Don't feel old at all. I'm brimming with self confidence at the moment.

UrsulaBuffay · 22/08/2014 22:39

Yeah I think that's the difference, when I have my confidence I don't worry about the future so much. My ex husband found a new relationship almost immediately with a 23 yr old and that has been a bit of a kick in the gut.

dontcallmehon22 · 22/08/2014 22:43

I think we have a lot to offer though Ursula. I don't see our age as any kind of issue. I'm 34, 3 dc... This is me. I've been badly hurt and no one will do that again. I demand respect and if I don't get it, I'll walk. Blondegeeky is just not so beautiful that I'll lose my dignity for him. I loved Geeky the first by date 5. I'll not give my power away again and I'll not compromise.

UrsulaBuffay · 22/08/2014 22:48

Wow you've turned it around this evening! I take every little knock so heavily it wears me out. I do think I need to put myself first for a while, it took a long time before I could go to bed at a sensible hour and then often id stay awake til early hours texting silly boys. My body is knackered! And I hadn't even processed the stress of my break up properly. Maybe I'm getting there, it's just peaks and deep troughs. I need to be properly powerful not fake powerful that invests in sex.

dontcallmehon22 · 22/08/2014 22:53

I think I realised today. Blondegeeky texted to say he was so so sorry, but he'd assumed I wasn't free and he was babysitting. I said 'no problem.' Quite prepared to leave it there and he knew it. He then begged to see me again. Offered days. I gave him two days I could do. I'm not entirely convinced by him, but he's learned where I stand today. I loved Geeky the first so much and he hurt me so much. That will never happen again. Blondegeeky will need to do some work now.

UrsulaBuffay · 22/08/2014 23:00

It was a bit odd of him to assume when you had Friday pencilled in, you'd expect a man to contact you and firm the arrangement up really. I'm too soft I chase and end up on the begging end of the spectrum :/ I think I give off the available vibe too much, always thought honesty was the best policy when I like someone but it scares them off.

MyChildDoesntNeedSleep · 22/08/2014 23:01

Ursula Have PM'd you.

MyChildDoesntNeedSleep · 22/08/2014 23:02

dont Tell me about this love thing. I don't think I have ever felt it for anyone, ever. What did you feel?

dontcallmehon22 · 22/08/2014 23:14

I felt like my head was swimming when I looked at him. I could look at him for hours. It was a massive chemical rush. There was obviously a strong sexual attraction. But it was more than that. I sat next to him going to Paris and the thing I was most excited about was being able to sit next to him for hours, not Paris. There was a weird connection we had, I think. I've not had it before or since.

UrsulaBuffay · 22/08/2014 23:14

Replied Mychild sorry if it's sent multiples my Internet went bong

UrsulaBuffay · 22/08/2014 23:15

I fall a little bit in love with men easily but I try to tell myself it's lust or obsession

dontcallmehon22 · 22/08/2014 23:18

I knew it was love with geeky. I remember us looking at each other and he said 'we both know what's happening here, don't we?' It was almost a telepathic connection. I could read him. But it was also terrifying.

dontcallmehon22 · 22/08/2014 23:19

We talked about aliens at 2 am (we both believed in them).

MyChildDoesntNeedSleep · 22/08/2014 23:20

I have the staring at him for hours thing. He does it to me too. But I think that's more to do with my hormones...when I'm ovulating he looks like the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen in my life. But what the hell is this love of which you speak? Confused

dontcallmehon22 · 22/08/2014 23:22

I can't explain it. I just knew. I don't know quite why. He knew it too.