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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Caught in the act . Mortified.

567 replies

SickOfAnts · 04/08/2014 20:13

Have once again turned to MN as in RL there is only DH to talk to.

The barebones of the story are that DH and I were caught in the act yesterday by our DDIL and the ramifications seem to be totally over the top.

We've had a stressful couple of years. Our relationship was put into question over an event which happened nearly 30 years ago, was a horrid time and still now it is in the background.

Last year our DS1 announced that his girlfriend was pregnant, they're both students in pretty full on studies. We supported them 100% and i gave up work to look after our beautiful GD.

Yesterday we looked after our GD, DS and DDIL are on holiday from uni but we offered to give them a break.
DH came home for lunch and we fawned over DGD for a while and then put her down for her siesta.
One thing led to another (consenting adults in their 50's) and to cut a long story short DDIL arrived (very quietly) and caught us in a compromising position.

Mortification is not the word.

She went into the kitchen and DH spoke to her/apologised.
She was all kinds of embarrassed.
She woke up DGD and went home.

Since then all hell has broken loose. DS can't trust us to look after DGD, if we can't hear DDIL coming in then how could we hear a baby crying?

I could die. I feel dreadful.

DH has pulled rank and has basically told DS to just drop it.

I feel sick.

Thankyou for reading this far. I know this is a total non story but it's very upsetting and embarrassing for me and i needed to share.

OP posts:
JoyceDivision · 06/08/2014 21:18

op, withdraw formal childcare arrangement of your ds and dil are so offended, I'm sure that will help them reassess their attitudes...

BoffinMum · 06/08/2014 21:20

I would probably have walked out if I saw my MIL giving FIL a blow job, but on the other hand I would be pleased for them they still had it in them, so to speak. Grin

SickOfAnts · 06/08/2014 21:20

Echocave

We were still caring for DGD.

Surely the majority of couples partake while baby sleeps don't they?

We should have locked the door, mea culpa, we didn't.

Never in the history of time has anyone ever visited at bloody lunchtime.

This is not a regular occurance (more's the pity).
We're not at it constantly to the detriment of our GD's wellbeing!

A one off , unfortunate turn of events that leaves me feeling wretched and DDIL understandably embarassed.

I originally posted not to vindicate the event but rather to "share " my embarrasment.

We have done nothing wrong.

OP posts:
Echocave · 06/08/2014 21:21

Grin. No I mean even if you think DDIL was wrong in thinking the GPs shouldn't have sex while looking after the Grandchild!!

BoffinMum · 06/08/2014 21:21

Joyce Grin

Surely she absentmindedly mistook it for a Pepperami whilst watching Bargain Hunt. Grin

SickOfAnts · 06/08/2014 21:25

BoffinMum

How very dare you compare DH's appendage to a Pepperami!

OP posts:
SickOfAnts · 06/08/2014 21:27

Also , how very dare you insinuate that i would watch Bargain Hunt regularly and JK too, guilty pleasures and all that!

OP posts:
CalamitouslyWrong · 06/08/2014 21:28

It makes a huge difference if it's family rather than someone you pay. The fact that people now expect family childcarers to behave like staff says really shitty things about the current generation of parents.

lettertoherms · 06/08/2014 21:29

lunchtime

Madamecastafiore · 06/08/2014 21:33

You welcome lovely.

SickOfAnts · 06/08/2014 21:36

lettertoherms

It was lunchtime.
Lunchtime's sacred.
12h to 14h everyone shuts down and stays at home.

Seriously, i would never visit during that 2 hour window.

(Is "lunchtime" a euphemism for something rude?)

OP posts:
Julius02 · 06/08/2014 21:39

I wish I knew you in RL SickofAnts. You sound like great fun!

CalamitouslyWrong · 06/08/2014 21:39

The fact that culturally no one ever visits at lunchtime makes it even more ridiculous that your DIL didn't let you know she'd be early. If everything shuts down, I bet there's plenty of lunchtime sex going on.

BoffinMum · 06/08/2014 21:39

Salami then

Skina · 06/08/2014 21:40

Completely love this thread Grin

SickOfAnts · 06/08/2014 21:41

Madamecastafiore

You truely have provided laughter in this house.

DH calls MN "the witch's coven" but will admit that on here support is to be found.

I wrote a horrid thread a few years ago.
Our otherwise happy marriage could have ended.
Shitty situation blah blah blah.

I asked for that thread to be deleted but before doing so i printed out every last post and gave it to DH to read.

In part it saved our marriage.

Thanks for your humour x

OP posts:
lettertoherms · 06/08/2014 21:43

Is "lunchtime" a euphemism for something rude?

Not usually... but I think in this context, it could be! Grin

I hope you don't mind me giggling, Sickofants, you sound lovely. x

Dontgotosleep · 06/08/2014 21:47

With the greatest respect sickofants further into the thread you don't seem very embarrassed to me and quite right too why should you be. That's just my perception though not saying I'm right.
It's hardly shocking is it that people grandparents included have sex and give blow jobs in the 21st century

SickOfAnts · 06/08/2014 21:50

lettertoherms

Giggle away!

It is laughable really in the whole scheme of things.

That's dear of you to think i'm lovely.
I think i am actually a little lovely too, aren't we all?

Xx

OP posts:
MATB1 · 06/08/2014 21:53

Op I believe in karma.

When I was 15 I'd been out with a friend and we got home earlier than we'd told my parents we'd be in. They were at it on the sofa whilst watching porn.

When I was 23 my parents were looking for something in the loft and they found my massive vibrator.

If you are half as lovely in real life as you sound on here, I'm sure your DDIL will come round and the embarrassment on both sides will fade and your relationship will resume over time.

Echocave · 06/08/2014 21:55

Ants, i wittered on about locking door earlier and I think that's your only mistake (and I know most on here disagree with me on that!) but I'm just trying to say that your DDIL may have thought (along with the shock etc) that you weren't actually taking proper care. As I said before, because it's their first, etc.

I hope I haven't said I don't think you were caring for your grandchild at the time, because that's not what I think.

SickOfAnts · 06/08/2014 21:56

Dontgotosleep

The more advanced in my gin drinking the less embarrassed i become!

I've neglected DH and my one remaining son in order to chat to strangers on t'interweb.

Shame on me !

OP posts:
Dontgotosleep · 06/08/2014 22:00

Echocave. I guess you have got to see things from both sides like you say and that is no disrespect at all to the o.p,
The majority if not all of us have sided with the O.P but somewhere along the line does her D.I.L have a point

SickOfAnts · 06/08/2014 22:00

Echocave

Don't sweat it.

All parents have had their PFB and i understand those feelings myself.

I still have those feelings now and he's a full grown man!

Xx

OP posts:
Echocave · 06/08/2014 22:04

Ta Ants. I was grotesquely PFB over childcare and I'm also a dreadful prude. So I'm trying to be fair!!